Perfectly Broken
by Hells-angel8
Summary: A world of pain and suffering is the only thing that Heero knows, but once his world is turned upside down, how long will it take to become adjusted to having no one tell him what to do. (NCS-WARNING)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I don't own GW, or any the characters used to create this fic.

Summery: A world of pain and suffering is the only thing that Heero knows, but once his world is turned upside down, how will it take to become adjusted to having no one tell him what to do. (NCS-WARNING!)

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I've been here for as long as I can remember, not that I can remember that much any more. The smell of disenfectant in the air, the constant beeping and swirling of the machines and the voice that gave me nightmares when ever I got the chance to sleep. He would come after me when he wanted me, use me when he needed an outlet for his pent up needs. I was his to use any way. He was the one who found me.

I can remember bits and pieces before my living hell started. I remember a rough face, hard from years of training probably, but his eyes were soft when he looked at me. He used to call me 'kid', but I still don't remember what I called him. I know that he started to teach me things, like how to load a gun, aim and fire. He said it was for self-defense purposes, but even now I'm not so sure.

I wish I could remember more, but what ever I had must have faded by now, only pain and agony exist for me now. The leather straps are biting into my skin to prevent me from escaping. He's tied me down to another metal table face down and naked. I can feel him behind me raking his nails down my back, his way of telling me he's going to take me. His modified hand, the claw as I've come to know it as, keeps my thighs from closing as he leans in and shoves his cock in my ass. I don't cry or make a sound, I know that will only bring me more pain.

"Such a pretty toy, my perfect solider is now that he has been trained not to speak. You've been good today. You've read all your subjects and did all your homework. Let's see, grammar, spelling, algebra, calculus, several histories of nations..." He goes on and on and each time he says a new topic he shoves into me harder. The pain is unbearable, but I want this to end and I know he'll leave me alone for a while after he's finished. I block out the sound of his voice and the foul smell of his breath until I feel him come deep within me. It burns so much, but at least he lets me clean myself up after he's finished, normally any way.

He pulls out of me and slaps my ass for good measure and walks away from the table. I can see from the corner of my eye that he's going to the shower. I let out a small sigh of relief when I hear the water start to pour and the sound of him splashing around as he washes himself. I feel the semen leaking out of me slowly, but I know once he's finished he'll let me go in. Even if it is a cold shower, it's still a shower to me and I want it.

He emerges with a towel wrapped around himself and then walks to his room. Wait! I want to cry out to him, but I know he would just ignore me, or worse he'll come back and stick that the thing in me again. It hurt so much when he did that the first time, when I screamed as he took me. He told me he liked to hear me screaming, but he would rather I didn't since the more I screamed the longer he would make me his. My punishment was to spend a full night with a dildo shoved into me, so I would learn how it felt, and learn I did.

He always did it dry so it would hurt more and so I couldn't walk well for days. It was to make me stronger he said, but how could doing that strengthen me, I didn't know. The only thing I knew was pain, how to know how to please him when he wanted it, and my studies that I had no choice but to learn. He even made me recite them back to him when I was done. It was my life even though I didn't choose it, I was stuck with it.

It must have been hours before he came back and told me to take a cold shower after he let me out of the straps. I was grateful, but I was crusty and sore as I hobbled to the shower and turned on the water. It was frigid and made my muscles cramp, but I just want to be clean again, although deep down inside of me I knew I was already to dirty and filthy to ever truly be clean. I washed my hair and body as well as I could then grabbed a towel and began to dry myself off.

"You may return to your room now Heero. I'm done with you for today. Make sure you study your books for tomorrow and be prepared for a test at one o'clock sharp."

"Yes, J."

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TBC...

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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I spent part of the night reviewing everything that I could so I would do well on the test tomorrow. J made certain to punish me if I didn't get a perfect score. After compiling everything I could think of, I let myself go to bed. I have an old cot that has some broken springs in it for a bed, but as long as I don't move too much I hardly notice them. My bed is comfortable enough for me and it beats any metal table J has strapped me to when he needs me.

The nightmares came as they always have. Images of J ripping me apart with his claw and using me again and again, even in my sleep I suffer. I can't ever escape him and I'm probably going to die here as well. It doesn't matter anyway. The only time I have ever been out of these walls was for combat training and that was a while ago. J only trained me because he needed someone to do his dirty work and it was more, convient for him to use someone smaller than himself. Before I know it, it's already morning and I have to get breakfast ready.

J makes me cook for him and myself, but he gets more than I do. It is because he is older than me that he always gets to eat first, and takes seconds if he wants them. Whatever is left in the pot at the end of his meal, I get to eat. I break some eggs in a frying pan and stir them until they are fluffy the way he likes them. I would rather have them with the yolk in the center, surrounded by the whites, like the sun is surrounded by the clouds. Here I am cooking and I'm thinking about being outside? If J could read minds I think he would have killed me by now. If not for the odd thoughts that come up in my head, then the thoughts that wish everyday that J will get tired of me and just kill me or that one day I can finally be free. I don't think I'm wrong to think that, but J would probably think otherwise.

I set the table after I put the pan off to the side and poured him a glass of grape juice. Piling the eggs on his plate in a moderate portion, I wonder where he is. J usually got up before me and was already at work and then came in when I was still at the stove cooking. I covered the rest of the eggs and debated on sneeking some eggs before he came in so I wouldn't be so hungry, but thought better of it. I would rather risk hunger than a beating in the early morning. The rest of the day would be filled with studies and training and if J beat me this early I doubted I would be up to going in the stress chamber, my muscles grew tense just thinking about it.

However, I knew I had better see where J was since he was late to breakfast and that broke his own set of rules. I wandered down the corridor to his room and knocked gently on the hard surface before me. No answer. I knocked again, louder this time and still nothing came. I gathered up my courage and tried the door knob. It was open. Slowly, I opened the door inch by inch and saw that the bed was unmade. Opening the door further, I saw a figure on the floor unmoving and it appeared not to be breathing either.

I stepped further into the room and approached the being, taking in some shaky breaths, I steeled myself and crouched next to the figure and turned him over. It was J, eyes wide open and jaw slack, but I could see the blood seeping from his mouth. I lowered my ear to his mouth, but couldn't feel any breath coming from his lips. Laying him flat on the floor, I placed my ear on his chest and listened, but I couldn't feel or hear a heartbeat present. Everything about him was silent, he was dead.

J was dead. I could be free now, I wouldn't have to be used or hungry or even stay here. I could leave this horrible place. I looked back down at his body, and now it was just a body, an empty shell to be disposed of and buried. Well, first things first. I should probably bury him before he starts to stink, grabbing him underneath the arms I began to drag him to the door that would lead to the outside. Outside. I haven't been outside for a very long time and just thinking about it made me hurry a little bit faster.

I was at the door before I even realized it and hurried to open the locks, something I had never done before. Of course, I knew how to open locks, I just never had been the one to open these locks. J had always done that and now I was going to bury him. Oh, I probably should get a shovel then. I left J by the door and went to the storage closet by the lab entrance and grabbed a shovel and a hoe to help me dig up the grass, then went back to where I left J.

The sunlight flooded in the room with the door open and I took a moment to marvel at it. The sunlight made my eyes hurt, but I didn't care. J had always kept the windows nailed shut and put black painted boards across them so none of the light would get in. It amazed me, that something like seeing the sun again could make me feel so peaceful. Gathering J up once more, I dragged him over to a tree line in the back of the house, where the dirt of the forest met the green grass and I started to dig.

The dirt smelled rich and musky as I shoveled through it again and again until I thought it was deep enough. I hopped out and shoved J in. Pushing the dirt on top of him took even less time and soon J was completely buried. A sigh escaped my lips and let myself fall backwards onto the grass and let a pain filled laugh escape me. Painfilled because I didn't realize how sore I was going to be today after what J had done to me yesterday. I laughed a little bit more then got up, shook the dirt off myself, picked up the tools and headed back to the house to enjoy my breakfast.

Placing the tools back where they belonged, I couldn't help but feel a bit giddy at the fact that I was all by myself. There wouldn't be any more training, no one was here to take me and make me feel worhtless, I wouldn't have to study for hours on end, and no one knew I was here. The last one really struck an nerve. No one knew I was here. The people in the town down the road from us knew J lived here, but they didn't know about me. How was I supposed to get the supplies then? Unless I could hack J's computer and send in the orders like he used to, and have someone deliver them, I would starve. Hacking was my best option, and that would work. I would have to do that.

Washing the dirt off my hands with warm water was definitely felt better than washing with only cold. I sat down where J would have sat and ate for the first time ever an entire plate of eggs and washed them down with the grape juice. My stomach felt like it was going to explode, but also I felt sated. I felt full and content for the first time ever since I had been brought to this house. This place was the source of my bad memories, but also it was now my safe haven.

The outside world, J once told me, was a scary place. I wanted to explore the outside world, but I also didn't want to chance being carried off by someone else. I didn't want to be used as a perfect solider as J had. I just wanted to be me. As I cleaned up the dishes and put them away I began to make plans of how to get the boards off the windows. Maybe my answer would just drop in my lap.

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TBC...

Please review.

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_**Thanks Again! **_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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Two weeks had passed since J died and I had finally made the house become what I wanted it to be. I removed all the nails from the windows and ripped off the boards to let the sunlight through. Each day I worked on one room at a time until all of them were clean and the amount of sunlight that washed through them all was astounding.

I moved from my drafty old room to the guest room that had been used for only the computers, so it was relatively clean in there even before I rearranged the house. The computers were comforting to listen to at night, since without anyone in the house besides me, the echos that house created would scream at me at the most inoppurtune moments. I almost had half a mind to camp out in the yard for a while, but I was afraid of leaving the house for long periods of time.

I know it's stupid of me to think that, but I couldn't help myself. I am so used to J being around and watching me that at times I swore a painting's eyes would follow me as I walked up the stairs. It took me a while but I finally got used to that happening. Well, most of the time, at other times I just took the pictures down and put them in the basement where they should've been in the first place. The basement was creepy enough the way it was, so I thought 'what's one or more other creepy things going to do to it, but add more odd looking things to the shadows.'

I realized at this time that I was running low on supplies. I hacked J's accounts and found out how much he really had. What I found shocked the hell out of me.

J was loaded and I don't just mean rich. I mean filthy-stinkin'-I-could-fill-an-entire-50-foot-deep-swimming-pool-to-the-brim-with-100-bills-and-not-even-blink rich. He had bonds in everything scientific to name, savings accounts, direct checking accounts, and stocks in a lot of different companies with a list of brokers next to every one with directions to sell or buy stocks if one of them was dropping or going up, and here I am trying to comprehend everything. It took me a while to understand everything, but eventually it clicked and I made an order of supplies and food to be delivered today.

I was a little anxious about this though since I had never seen J speak to anyone at the door. We had been isolated from the rest of the town nearby and no one seemed to want to bother us, which I was grateful for. I had enough problems of trying to act like J online so I wouldn't complicate things. I scrolled down the list of accounts and set one up to transfer the supply purchase, out of one of the many accounts and into the stores payment account. The program gave me a little difficulty as first, but then got better.

I surfed the web for a while, as I waited for anything new to happen when I heard a knock on the door. I felt my body freeze and my heart rate speed up with that booming sound. The delivery was already here? I wondered and slowly stood up, as another knock rattled against the door. Cautiously, I made my way to the main door and glanced through the peek hole. There stood an odd sight.

On the porch stood a black clad boy with a black cap on his head advertising the store I had bought from this morning. He was wearing short sleeves and long baggy pants that trailed down to the ground and at his feet, black combat boots stuck out from under the pants. His hair was a redish brown almost like the color of chestnuts, but even though the color was interesting, the amount he had of it was even more unique. A long braid was hanging over one lean shoulder and the tip ended at mid thigh level. The entire image of him was...was... I don't know what it was, but it caused my stomach to go tight and my lungs to hold the air I had just breathed in.

At the boy's feet was a package that probably held the food I had ordered. The boy bent backwards and looked off the porch to one side then turned around and looked the other way, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and knocked on the door again.

"Hey, is anyone in here?" He called in a loud strong sounding voice. "Hello! Look if anyone is in there, you better come out or I'm gonna take this package away when I leave!" I turned away from the key hole and put my back against the door, trying convince my brain to think. I thought the boy would just leave the package, but obviously not since he threatened to take it back with him. My heart was still hammering in my chest and I couldn't help the panic that flared up in me. Steeling myself, I took a few deep breaths trying to steady my nerves. As soon as I felt my breathing start to slow down I turned around and started to unlatch the locks of the door.

After the final lock was done, I slowly opened the door an inch and peered out, the boy tilted his head and looked at me in confusion. The package was still there so I let the door open more so I could stand in the space that was created by the opening. The boy grinned at me and let his eyes travel down my body, taking in my appearance. I couldn't help but slightly shudder under his scrutiny.

"I was about to think no one lived here anymore, but I guess I just assumed too much. This place doesn't look so creepy any more. Are you remodeling it?" The boy asked. I let myself relax a bit although all my muscles were still tense and I couldn't help but watch out for any sign that this person was going to lash out at me. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat before answering him.

"Yes, I have been remodeling." The boy continued to smile and stuck out his hand, I jumped backward and the boy gave me an odd look. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." I stepped back to where I was a minute ago and tentively stretched out my own hand to grasp his. He shook it, his grasp gentle, but firm.

"I'm Duo. Duo Maxwell. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Heero Yuy. It's nice to meet you too."

"Heero Yuy, interesting name. Are you oriental?" I nodded. "Really? Wow. So which Asian country?"

"Japan." I said and my nervousness lessened a little bit more. We spoke a bit more, talking about the weather and how it was supposed to rain all week. Duo did most of the talking and I just nodded or gave some kind of acknowledgement until Duo looked at his watch.

"Well, I gotta run and make some more deliveries and then go back to my flat and catch some Z's. You better take that inside before it gets too hot even though that's unlikely in this weather. Have a nice day Heero, I'm looking forward to delivering your supplies again." He said then jumped off the porch and headed to the truck that was parked on the pathway. He got in and I heard the engine come to life, before I knew it, he was waving to me and sped off down the road from where he came from. I couldn't help but wave goodbye back to him. I hadn't even realized I was doing it.

When I could no longer see Duo's truck I picked up the package and went inside. As I began to unwrap the contents, I couldn't help but think how I had never heard someone talk so much. J never talked to me the way Duo had and actually asked me questions as well. J always gave me orders and told me what I was doing wrong, he never cared about my opinion. I was always supposed to remain silent and focus on my studies.

Duo was different. He didn't seem to care what he was talking about or why, he just... talked. Maybe he just liked the sound of his own voice. He did have a really nice sounding voice, so strong and warm and caring and... Oh. Why do I keep thinking about it? About him? I just met him. What's wrong with me?

Loneliness. That's it! I'm just lonely. If someone else came to deliver the supplies I would probably act the same way. 'No you wouldn't,' a voice in the back of my mind said. I would only act this way if it was Duo. That was the truth. I hope he doesn't think I'm offering myself to him. That thought causes me to shudder. If he expects me to let him do... what J did to me. 'Well, he is pleasing to look at.' Stop thinking about him! He's gone! He delivered the supplies and left, end of story.

But he did say he was looking forward to delivering to me again. This is just too confusing. My brain needed a rest and needed to stop thinking about Duo. I turned back to the supplies and began putting them away in all the right places. After a few minutes I was all finished and decide to continue reading the book I had started. It was a good book, one that I hadn't read in a while and wanted to finish before I went to eat supper and go to bed. However, my enjoyment of the story didn't last long when I began picturing Duo as the main character and made him act out everything. I just couldn't stop thinking about him.

What am I going to do?

TBC...

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_**Thanks for the reviews: ZaKai, Shadowseeker, Subzero13, Serena429, and YaoiKitty! I love you people! Huggles All!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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Duo kept returning every time I would order supplies, and every time he came to deliver them, I would spend the next week thinking about him. His long chestnut braid and sparking blue violet eyes were so alluring, I would dream about them just staring at me while I ran my hands through that silky brown mass. No matter how much I tried to get his image out of my head, it would come back and make me feel warm inside. This is just too confusing.

After three months of living here by myself and rearranging everything in the house, I finally started to enjoy living here. There were times when I would still have nightmares, but the weirdest part of them was when Duo came in to save me from J. Duo had never met J, or at least I hope he didn't. I really didn't know and now that I think about it, I hope he never has for his sake.

I removed everything in the house that reminded me of J. Sold a bunch of it online and shipped it out to the buyers only to gain more pocket money that I didn't need. I donated to charities a lot, but made sure my real name was never told. I let the charities know me as Wing Zero, which I still don't know how I came up with it. Maybe it was because whenever I looked outside, I would see birds flying. Such delicate little creatures that can stretch their wings and glide on the wind, away from anything that would harm them.

Some days, I wished I was like those birds. I wished that I could grow wings and take off into the sky and join them in flight. But then I would remember what I was and what I had been. A zero, a nobody, only something to be used for someone else's pleasure, be torn in half and tortured if that was what the master wanted. Those thoughts in my mind made me depressed and I would spend days in bed just lying there in a ball. Sometime I would cry and other times I would just stare at the walls for countless hours. I was so pathetic those days and only the thought of Duo coming back to me when I ordered new supplies cheered me up.

I went as far as making sure the supplies I got would only last me a week or two so I could see Duo more often. He asked me about it the one day and made a comment about me missing his voice. I couldn't help but stare at the ground when he said that. It was true. Duo laughed it off and told me not to be embarassed about it. A lot of people he delivered to would tell him that they missed seeing him. Jealousy flashed through me when I thought about other people liking Duo, but then I had to stop thinking like that. Duo wasn't mine and he never would be. I felt my heart sink at that revelation. He would never want to be friends with someone who was as disgusting as I was.

About two weeks passed before I ran out of supplies, but I didn't care. I wanted to just die. The thought of Duo being disgusted by me crushed any hope I had of seeing him after we had that conversation. I felt sick to my stomach and just laid on the couch for three days. At least I think it was three days since I had eaten anything. A rumbling sound told me to eat, but a better thought told me that if I didn't consume anything I would just die. Dying right now seemed a much better way of dealing with the world right now. No one cared about me or even knew I was here except for Duo and I'm sure he had better suitors than just me. I was nothing compared with them.

I drifted in and out of sleep, willing my body to just shut down and stop working. So what if I was depressed, my body could at least agree with me and just end my misery. I was so out of it that I didn't hear the knock at the door until it came booming into my ears. I willed myself to get up and answer it. Maybe death came for me.

The locks were soon undone and I pulled open the door with a bit of difficulty since my strength had left me. The sun hurt my eyes and it took me a moment to adjust to the light's intensity. There in the doorway stood Duo, the same way as I remembered him, black from head to toe and looking more radiant than ever before. A part of me hoped he was death itself and had come to take me with him to the great beyond or to just begin a new life away from all the pain I felt in this one.

"Geez Heero, you look like shit." Duo's voice was in my ear as I leaned against the door frame for support. My legs were shaking and I knew before it happened that I was going to fall. I pitched forward and started a nosedive into Duo. I felt warm arms wrap around me and a solid chest cushion my head. "Easy Heero, I've got you." I felt Duo pick me up and go into the house, but I really didn't care that Duo had finally entered my house. All I cared about was Duo's scent that I breathed in and the warmth that was heating my cold body.

Duo sat on the couch with me in his lap and began running his hands over me, seeing if I had injured myself somehow I gathered. J had done the same thing at times, but his touch had been rough and painful, Duo's touch was gentle and light. He opened my eyelids and stared into my eyes. I could see how worried he was and wondered why that was.

"Heero can you hear me?" Duo said sternly. I moaned as a reply. Even though the sight of Duo made me happy, I couldn't help but be annoyed that he wasn't death. He stroked my face and hair lightly and the rhythm of it was sending me to sleep. "Don't worry Heero. I'll take care of you." I heard Duo say as I drifted off to sleep.

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I awoke some time later in a white room and as my eyes started to focus again, I noticed that it was a hospital room. There was an I.V. in my hand and a saline drip was still pumping fluid into me. I had half a mind to rip the thing out of me. I tried to reach over with my other hand only to discover it was being held by someone else's hand. I looked over and in a chair sat Duo gazing down at me.

A sharp jolt passed through my entire body as I realized that Duo was holding my hand. My eyes inspected our joined hands, they fit so well together. Duo's hands were as big as mine and his thumb was rubbing the back of my knuckles lightly. That touch was so tender and I couldn't help but be a bit embarassed at the intimacy of the act. He was holding my hand, it made me to feel precious and made my cheeks feel like they were going to set on fire.

"Hey sleepy head. Do you feel better now?" Duo asked softly. I nodded, but kept my head bowed. "Hey. What's the matter?" Duo reached out and tilted my head up and tried to make me look at him. I let him tilt my head up, but I kept my eyes on the blankets that I was wrapped up in. "It's okay to be sick Heero. I was worried about you when I didn't see your name on a new order of supplies on my list. I knew you only bought enough for a week. Were you trying to go on a diet or something? You don't need to with a body like yours. You're perfect."

"No I'm not." My voice betrayed me and I finally lifted my eyes to see Duo's face. "No one's perfect, especially me. I'm perfectly broken. Why lie and tell me otherwise?" I asked him. Duo looked shocked at my words, but then his eyes softened and he rose from his chair to get closer to me. The hand that still held my chin was still in place and I could feel his fingers rubbing against my skin.

"I didn't lie." I frowned at him and Duo just chuckled. "Not to be so forward, but your perfect to me. You're beautiful Heero. Why would you starve yourself?" His voice took on a demanding tone and I felt I had no choice but to tell him why.

"Maybe because I wanted to die. Is that the answer you wanted?" I stared at him waiting for a look of loathing to enter his eyes, but what I saw instead was sadness.

"You really wanted to die so you tried to starve yourself." I waited for him to start yelling and braced myself. My body growing tense and huddled in on itself incase Duo decided to hit me for my stupidity. We were in a hospital after all, so if he did any damage to me I could just lay here until someone patched me up again. I waited for Duo to act, but he didn't and I finally thought he was going to leave. The he leaned in close to my ear and I could feel him breathing.

"Don't you ever do that again." He breathed into my ear. I allowed myself to breathe as he pulled away and looked deep into my eyes. Those beautiful jewels could probably see into my very soul and take it from my body if it were possible. Duo pulled away, but gave me a serious look before sitting in his chair once more and holding my hand again.

He began to caress my fingers and hand as I allowed myself to relax once more. The soothing pattern felt nice and I allowed myself to enjoy Duo's pleasuring touch while it lasted. He was probably going to leave as soon as I fell asleep.

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I drifted off again some time later and saw that it was dark outside. The chair Duo had been sitting in was now empty. I suspected he would leave me, but I didn't think it would hurt so much for him to leave me without saying goodbye. Tears started to form in my eyes and I couldn't fight them. They trailed down my cheeks as I rolled over on my side and curled up in a ball. Sobs broke free from my throat as I began to think I would never see Duo again. He finished his duty by bring me here and left me in someone's care so he didn't have to. How I wanted him to take care of me instead. "Duo why did you leave me?" I wailed to the empty room.

I tried to stop crying, but couldn't and then felt something brush my hair and kneel on the bed behind me. "I didn't leave Heero. I'm here. I'm right here." A voice said behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Duo smiling down at me.

"Duo?" I whispered. He nodded. I rolled over and made room for him on the bed. He laid down next to me and then gathered me into his arms. I wrapped my own around his waist and buried my face in his chest. The tee shirt he was wearing began to soak up all my tears until I had no more to cry. A few sniffles were left as Duo continued to run his fingers through my hair and rub my back in small circles.

"You thought I would leave you, hm?" He asked me softy. "Well I can tell you now, I'm not going to do that. You can stay with me after you get better. Okay?"

I thought that over and just nodded against his chest. Letting his scent surround me and his heartbeat calm me down. I didn't want to let him go, and I would chance anything to make him stay with me.

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TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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"Come on Heero, my apartment won't bite you I promise. Now come on and get out of the car." Duo called to me while I sat and looked up at the building before me. It was an older building with slightly peeling paint and a sort of old style feel to it, kind of like what my house looked like. I couldn't believe that Duo wanted to take me in. Well, actually he just wanted to make sure I was eating properly so I wouldn't make myself sick again. I still felt that I needed to repay him for his kindness, but I didn't know how.

I finally let Duo drag me out of the car and into his apartment complex. His apartment, he told me, was on the second floor and we wouldn't have that many steps to go up. The hospital released me to Duo's care only because he found me and I guessed they thought he was my friend or brother or something. I have never had a friend and Duo is pretty much the only friend I have right now so I guess I'll just have to have him show me what a friend does. He told me that he considered me his friend so I might as well think of him the same.

Duo told me before we arrived, that his apartment was probably smaller than what I was used to, but I just shrugged and let him talk while he drove us here. I was still a little shocked as we walked up the steps. Duo lead me by my wrist and pulled me along when I stopped every couple of feet to take in my surroundings. The dim lighting wasn't really helping my opinion of the place either. It didn't look very...appealing on the outside, but it didn't look unwelcoming either. The hall reminded me of the way J always kept the house when he was still alive. That thought ran through my head as we walked passed a few doors and then stopped at the last one at the end of the hallway.

Duo took out his keys and deftly picked out one and unlocked the door. I watched it swing open and reveal a bright room with the sun streaming through the windows. "Brighter than out there right? If it's blinding I'll pull the blinds, but I think a little sunlight will do you some good."

"Duo is that you?" A voice called out. I couldn't help myself and ducked behind Duo as I heard approaching footsteps.

"Yeah it's me. Who else would it be? I brought a guest with me too, Kat!" Duo yelled back to the voice.

"Really." A short blond boy stepped out of the room he was just in and tilted his head as he tried to look at me. I tried to hide behind Duo, but he moved out of the way and ducked behind me and held my shoulders as he presented me to the boy.

"This is Heero Yuy and he's going to be staying here a little while until he gets better. Heero this is Quatre, Kat for short and he lives here too. He's a real great guy and I hope you can become friends with him."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Heero." Quatre stepped forward and held out his hand to me. I stared at it waiting for him to do something with it. The blond just smiled at me hopefully and I still didn't know what he wanted from me.

"Heero, Kat just wants to shake your hand." Duo whispered in my ear.

"Oh , s-sorry." I quickly put out my own hand and felt Quatre's warm fingers wrap around mine. His shake was strong and firm, but I couldn't help noticing how soft his hands were. Delicately smooth and free of calluses, which was a surprise to me. I couldn't help but be ashamed at the condition of my own hands as I drew mine away from his.

"It's alright. I'm sure we can become good friends in the near future." He smiled at me then turned his attention to Duo. "Trowa's coming over in a little while, just to warn you."

"Oh is he? He didn't have enough quality time with you while I was with Heero at the hospital?" Duo arched one of his eyebrows at Quatre which caused the blond to shrug his shoulders.

"I don't mind the extra attention and besides. It's not like you have to watch us Duo. You have your own room."

"That I do and Heero will be sleeping in it tonight, far away from you lust crazed harpies. Aren't you ever tired?"

"Only after a good work out." Quatre smirked and headed back into the room he came from.

"Oh boy, I didn't really need to know that Kat. It was a retorical question." Duo sighed and slapped a hand over his eyes then slid it down his face.

"You asked it, so there." Quatre popped his head out a stuck out his tongue at Duo then went back in. Duo just rolled his eyes and turned to me.

"So, do you want the tour?" He asked and I simply nodded. Duo took me through the apartment and showed me everything he thought I needed to see, then took me into his room and took out some clothes for me to change in. He left to go start supper and I quickly discarded the clothes I was wearing and pulled on the new ones. They fit well considering Duo was taller than me, but I didn't mind. It was nice to have Duo's scent surround me. I couldn't help but bring the shirt up to my nose and breath in deeply. I felt content, somewhat at peace and for one moment, I felt like someone truly cared about me, but then I realized I couldn't really repay Duo unless it was in cash or in the way J usually liked to take me.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and went out to see what Duo was doing. As I entered the kitchen I saw that there were now two people at the table and one more that I didn't recognize. He was a thin, brown haired boy whose hair covered half his face, but the one eye that peeked out was a striking green and stared at me until I thought my heart might stop with that heavy gaze.

"Heero, this is Trowa, Quatre's boyfriend and sometimes house guest." Duo introduced me as I stepped closer to him.

"Most of the time, he's a full time house guest." Quatre told me and leaned on Trowa's shoulder with a content look on his face. I looked at the two of them together and determined that Quatre was pretty much Trowa's partner or slave. Trowa just looked powerful and more dominant than Quatre did. I couldn't really picture Quatre taking Trowa. The image just wouldn't work out right.

I extended my hand to him and he took it briefly before releasing it. I went to stand next to Duo, but he encouraged me to sit down in a chair. I didn't really want to sit, but a part of me knew Duo wouldn't let anything happen to me. A silence fell on us and Duo just smirked at everyone before bouncing in his chair. "So who wants dinner?"

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Duo made a pizza, at least that's what he called it. Pizza was made of dough and some kind of sauce that consisted of tomatoes and spices that were blended together and had cheese on top of it. I was surprised by it's taste, which was quite enjoyable, except the amount of cheese on it almost made me choke. My stomach rumbled loudly while I ate and I couldn't help but be embarassed. Quatre excused me and told me that it probably felt good to eat again. Duo must have told him about my self inflicted starvation diet, but I couldn't really be upset with Duo. He was... my friend after all.

I helped Trowa do the dishes, he washed and I dried them with a dish towel. Duo showed me where they went and told me that it was better to learn things like that right away while I stayed here. The counters and table top were wiped down and then the four of us went to the living room. There was a movie on Duo and Quatre wanted to see, so they sat themselves on the couch and turned it on waiting for the commercials to end.

Trowa sat down next to Quatre and I saw him whisper something in his ear before Quatre shivered in response. The entire scene made me feel like even more of an outsider and I debated on whether I should ask Duo if I should just leave so he could get back to his normal life. My pressence was just going to burden them and as the movie started I tried to quietly exit the room.

I got as far as the hallway when Duo called out to me.

"Heero come sit by me. There's plently of room on the couch. Com'ere." My legs must have gotten a mind of their own because I was walking towards him in a matter of seconds. "Come on, sit down. We won't bite." I sat myself next to Duo, our thighs touching. A part of me wondered if I should move away from him, but if I did that I'd be touching Trowa, which wouldn't be good either. Duo must have seen my dilemma and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him still, so that I was resting my head on his shoulder.

The heat and scent of his skin made my stomach jump with excitement, but I still couldn't stop the feelings of embarassment at not knowing what to do next. We watched the movie and during the middle of it Trowa said something to Quatre again and they got up and went to Quatre's room. I wondered about that briefly before turning back to the movie and relaxing against Duo's shoulder.

A few minutes later I heard a rhythmic pounding start up and I couldn't figure out what was making the sound until the voices started up. A low moan came from the room where Trowa and Quatre had went. My heart clenched as I tried to figure out what Quatre had done wrong to make Trowa treat him like that. The noises were getting louder by the minute and Duo responded by turning up the volume until the awful sounds were drowned out.

Some part of me wondered why Duo wasn't stopping it from happening. Unless he wanted to do the same thing to me after the movie was finished. I went limp at the thought of it. I hadn't been in that kind of pain in a while, but if that's what Duo wanted to do to me, who was I to stop it. Maybe it would be better with Duo. He wasn't like J and he was much more attractive than J was. Perhaps he wouldn't hurt me as much, maybe it might even... feel good.

I hoped that was the case as the ending credits rolled and an advertisement for the new Dodge truck came on. Duo unwrapped his arm from around my shoulders and stretched his body. A few pops sounded when he stretched his arms over his head and then he got up while switching the TV off.

I sat there waiting for him to decide what we were going to do next. He groaned as he popped his spine and then smirked at me. I allowed a tiny smile to spread on my lips as Duo held out a hand to me. I took it and he gently pulled me off the couch and we headed down the hall. We stopped at the bathroom where Duo grabbed a towel and handed it to me.

"You probably want to shower, so use that towel to dry off when you get out and you can use my soap and shampoo. They're already in there on the shelf so take you're time. I'll be waiting for you when you get out." Duo shut the door behind him and I stood there a minute to get my bearings before begining to undress. I couldn't make myself understand what Duo meant by his words so I just hopped into the shower and turned on the water.

The water was warm and felt good on my skin. I stood there with my face up to the shower head and let the water pour over me, doucing me clean of everything. Duo's shampoo was an herbal medley of lavender and rose musk. It smelled nice and I made sure to suds it up well before washing it out of my hair. The soap also smelled like lavender and I used a washcloth to make the lather thick before soaping my limbs and chest.

I washed every crevice my body possessed, even the cleft that lead to my entrance. I washed there as well, knowing that Duo wanted that to be clean as well. My genitals were throughly cleaned and I felt no arousal when I soaped my penis and testicles. Dr. J forbade my from masturbating so I had never thought to try it even now. When he took me back then, my cock always remained limp and J made certain it stayed that way. I found myself wondering if Duo would want me to be like that as well.

After making sure all the soap was rinsed from my skin, I turned off the taps and stepped out onto the bath mat laid out on the floor and quickly dried myself off. My hair was still dripping water on the floor and I tried to towel it dry the best I could before wrapping the towel around my waist and picking up my discarded clothes.

The hallway was dark as I exited the bathroom and walked to Duo's room whose door was open and light poured into the hallway from it. I peeked in and saw Duo opening up some dresser drawers and going through the contents before shutting it and going into the next one until he pulled out a white tee shirt and a pair of black shorts.

He turned towards the door and spotted me standing there. "Hey, you're done pretty fast. Feel better?" He asked me.

"Yes, thank you for letting me use your things." I told him softly.

"No problem that's what friends are for. Did you see the tooth brush I left out for you?" I shook my head. I hadn't seen one. "Huh. That's weird, unless Trowa took it by mistake. Maybe that's where it went, although he usually uses Quatre's. Well in any case you can use mine if you want until I find another one for you to use."

Duo took my clothes from me and put them in the hamper, then grabbed my hand and tugged me to the bathroom. "Mine's the black and green one, here." I took it from him after he put some toothpaste on it for me, I brushed my teeth after Duo left me. Somehow I didn't mind sharing a toothbrush with Duo, it was like he was showing me that he wanted to share. Hell, he was going to share his bed with me tonight if not... something else as well.

I spit out the excess toothpaste in the sink and rinsed my mouth out with some water. Duo came back in and rinsed off the brush and brushed his own teeth as I wiped my mouth off. He doesn't take long and rinses as well, then turns to me and hands me the tee shirt and shorts I saw him pull out of the drawer a few moments ago. I'm a bit stunned.

"Here, you can wear these to sleep in." He places them in my arms and tells me to change. "Come to bed when you're ready." He tells me then leaves me alone. I can't help the shock I feel from Duo's generosity, so I let the towel fall and quickly pull on the clothes.

Duo pulls back the covers and slides in underneath them. I stand against the doorframe watching him get comfortable then his eyes find me. He smiles at me before patting the space next to him. "Get in Heero." I obey him and do so. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest and I'm waiting for Duo to tell me what to do. I lay as still as possible and wait for any kind of sign that Duo wants me to get out and strip for him.

He must have sensed something's wrong because before I know what's happening, Duo is pulling me close to him and wrapping his arms around me. "Heero what's wrong?" His warm breath tickles my ear and I shiver. "Heero tell me what's bothering you, please?" I can't lie to him and I can't just stay quiet, so I finally turn to face him.

"How can I repay you?" I whisper to him.

"What?" Duo's eyes grow wide and concern for me is etched in his face. He moves away from me as if I had stung him.

"How can I pay you back for your kindness? Do you want money, or some kind of reward? Or do you want me?"

A look of horror is drawn in Duo's eyes as I ask him what he wants. I can't help but be blunt. I'm hoping he doesn't want the last one, although I'm prepared to give it. Duo visibly swallows before opening his month again as he sits up and looks down at me. "What do you mean by 'or do you want me,' Heero?"

"I mean do you want me for sexual gratification. I heard Quatre giving it to Trowa before when we were watching the movie. That's why they left isn't it? Trowa wanted to fuck Quatre into some kind of submission-"

"Heero stop. Just please, stop." Duo took a few deep breaths before speaking again. "Heero, Trowa is not using Quatre for... sexual gratifiction as you put it. Although I'm sure they were having sex, it isn't just sex to them, it's making love. They love each other and respect each other. They aren't using each other if that's what you're thinking. But it is isn't it?"

I lower my head and nod. The covers have become of interest and I wait for Duo to speak again. Maybe he'll change his mind about having me as a friend.

"Heero, did someone... use you like that?" I can't lie to him and nod once more. I hear Duo gasp and I just can't bear to look at him. He continues after a moment. "Did you- did you think I wanted that from you?" He asks me quietly.

"I expected you might want it." I reply just as quietly. "I'll leave if you want me too." I offer, finally bringing my eyes up to look at Duo. He looks sad, anguished even, and I can't blame him. Slowly, I begin to get out of bed only to find that I can't move away.

"Stay, Heero. You don't have to leave and I'm not the type that would do that, just so you know." His arms are wrapped around my waist and his warmth is so inviting. Should I dare to hope that I'm still wanted here?

"Do you want me to stay?" I ask fearfully.

"Yes. Of course I do, you're my friend. So will you stay and go to sleep?" I nod and turn in his arms and wrap my own around him. He kisses my forehead and settles himself once more before covering us both up with a blanket. "You need to get better Heero. I'll take you home tomorrow so we can get some of your things so you can stay here and get well again."

"You still want to make me better?"

"I'm your friend aren't I?"

"Yes, you are. And you're mine." I smile as I rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his beating heart.

"Then goodnight and we'll talk more in the morning." I nod and let my eyes close, the rhythmic beating of Duo's heart lulling me to sleep.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC...

_Thank you to all my reviewers, you always cheer me up and I always welcome your feedback. I'm beging the next chapter of TSYA now that I'm off for the summer. My other fics will be updated soon as well, I just have to get the inspiration to write them. _


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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I couldn't even begin to describe what I felt in the morning as I woke up next to Duo. The sun was streaming through the tightly closed blinds, but still a few rays managed to filter through. Duo's body was so warm and his arms held me gently while I curled up against his shoulder. His heartbeat lullied me to sleep last night and his soft breathing helped me calm my own breath. I was still a bit shocked that he allowed me to stay, but it was his choice to make, not mine.

The cocoon of warmth that surrounded me was too tempting to leave and I feared that if I did, Duo would certainly wake up. My body didn't really want to get up any way and after I wrapped my arms a bit tighter around Duo, I allowed myself to just close my eyes and go back to sleep.

I didn't get up until some time later and a glance at the clock told me a lot of time had past since I had first woken up. For starters, Duo was no longer in bed with me, but instead was sitting in a chair watching me. My heart jump started when I figured out he was there and he was quick to apologize for scarying me.

"Sorry Heero. I didn't mean to give you a heart attack so early in the... uh... afternoon?" Duo looked a bit sheepish and I felt even worse when I took a good look at the clock once more. It was nearly 3:30 in the afternoon.

"You should have woken me up." I told him as I pushed the blankets off my body so they were exposed to the chill air of the room. Duo must've seen me shiver because he pushed them back over me and I instantly felt warm again.

"Nah, you looked cute while you were sleeping and besides, you need the rest. Stay in there while I get you a robe." Duo walked over to his closet and started searching for one while I sat in the warm bed. "Ah, here's one. Put this on until I find you some warm clothes."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to and you need them. The power went out this morning so the apartment's freezing. I don't want you to catch a cold as well." Now that I looked at Duo more clearly, I could see that he was wearing pair of sweats and he had gloves on his hands. Duo came over and wrapped me up in the fleece robe and put my arms through the sleeves for me. I felt as if he was treating me like a child, but maybe he was just worried about me.

"Your clock still has the right time though."

"It's battery powered, so it won't be wrong, but the heat's off and it's rather chilly outside. Winter's coming in pretty fast and it sucks that we have no electricity."

"How'd the power go out?" I asked as I pulled the robe closer to my body and snuggled into the sheets. Duo came and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. His close pressence somehow made me feel a bit warmer than I had been a second before.

"Well, Quatre and Trowa both think someone hit a pole and knocked the power lines down again. It's been known to happen this time of year the most. But other than that, I thought maybe a squirrel got into on of the transformers and fried the curcuits. It's happened before." Duo said with a slight grimance. 1

I was a little disturbed by that idea and felt bad for the squirrel that had been fried. The room was definitely colder than it was last night. A shiver ran up my spine and caused my hands to shake a bit. Duo noticed and took my hands in his. The warmth of them was amazing and I found myself snuggling into Duo before I really thought about what my actions might mean.

I started to pull back after I felt Duo's heart beating rapidly underneath my ear. Duo stopped me however and climbed into bed with me a moment later and cuddled me to him. The heat that emenated from him felt so good that I pressed closer to him still, hoping he didn't mind. He must not have because he pulled the blankets up to our necks and pressed my head underneath his chin and stroked my hair gently.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. I'll keep you warm, Heero." I rubbed my nose against his neck as I made myself comfortable and tried not to squish Duo too much. "Heh, even your nose is cold."

"Sorry." I apologized and moved my nose away from his bare skin.

"Don't be. The power outage isn't your fault so just try to stay warm." He assured me, but those fingers in my hair didn't stop their caress.

"Don't you have to go to work?" I asked. I wasn't tired anymore so sleep was not going to come to me easily, so I started to question Duo to pass the time. Then as an after thought, I asked another question before he could answer the first one. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"Nah, I don't mind you asking me questions. I just hope I can give you some good answers, but no, I don't have to go in for work today, since the power's out. The computers are probably all down at work any way. There's no way to double check the orders if the computers aren't running."

"But you will go in tomorrow won't you?"

"Sure, if we have power again, which I hope we do. Oh, if you want you can come along too, if you want to that is."

I pondered it for a minute then nodded against Duo's chest. "I would like that."

"It's a date then." Duo replied, his hand doing its magic in my hair.

"A date? What's that?" I asked, wondering why Duo would note a state of time.

"Oh, well a date is when you take someone you care about out." That answer confused me more.

"Take that person out? Where? Outside?" Why would you just take a person outdoors?

"No, to take someone out, means you take them somewhere, like the movies, or to the park, even the other person's apartment sometimes if the person is really special." Duo elaborated his answer and it became a bit clearer to me. Although, now I wondered if Duo had taken me on a date already without me knowing it.

"You brought me to your apartment." I stated and Duo's eyes suddenly became wide.

"Well, yeah I did. But we aren't dating yet."

"But you just said it's a date." I tried to clarify. "So when you take me out tomorrow is it a date or isn't it?"

"Only if you want it to be a date it will be. Heero both people have to agree to it. If you want it to be a date then it will be one, alright?" I nodded feeling a bit better, but I still had some doubts.

"Duo, what do people do on dates?" I asked, slightly worried about the answer.

"Usually, it's up to the people. Some people go out to the movies and have dinner. Others go out to eat and then go back to the person's place who's been invited to come on the date and they both get more comfortable with each other. They can talk about themselves and what they like to do in their spare time. Normal everyday things if that's all they know."

"Like we are?" Duo's hand paused in my hair for a moment but then continued it's soothing pattern.

"Sometimes if that's all they want to do. Although usually the power isn't off when you go over the other person's apartment or house. Usually the people just talk about anything they feel comfortable saying to the other person. Sometimes they'll just go home to kiss and cuddle with one another and later on in the relationship they take the final step when they are ready for it."

"But what is that final step, Duo?" I had to know. I wanted to know what these dates were based on to their full extent and Duo's answer shocked me.

"It's when they're ready to make love." My mouth went dry and my breathing increased with that last phrase.

"Like-like what Trowa was doing to Quatre?" My voice was trembling and I knew it, I couldn't help it though.

"Yes. Trowa and Quatre make love and sometimes Quatre makes love to Trowa and vice versa." Duo admitted to me. A part of me want to tell him he was lying, but I knew Duo was very honest and wouldn't lie to me. Would he?

"Doesn't it hurt?" I knew the answer, but I wanted Duo to say it, so I would know it to be the truth.

Duo was quiet for a few minutes, not saying anything or moving away from me. He turned to look down at me and I raised my head to look at him. I stared into those beautiful violet eyes he alone posessed and waited for his reply.

"It can hurt if the people are in a hurry to get it done and over with, but it shouldn't hurt at all if it's done the right way. At least that's the way I know the difference between making love and having sex. When you make love with someone, you care about the person you're making love to and you don't want to hurt them so you make sure to take things slow. If you don't and rush things, that person is just using you for sex and it isn't love at all. I used to love someone a long time ago and he showed me the difference and made me see how it was supposed to be. If you love someone, you make sure they are taken care of and make them feel special."

Duo's explanations struck home in my heart. If I loved someone, I wouldn't let them take advantage of me. If that person truly cared, he would cuddle and kiss me and love me for what I was and not some sex toy.

J had used me.

J had fucked me.

J made me feel pain and agony and left me in unending misery, but Duo hadn't.

Duo said 'hi' to me and talked to me like a person when J only treated me like a servant.

Duo took care of me and had taken me to the hospital so I could begin to heal and be well again.

J would leave me where he left me and kick me out of his way if he needed to get by.

Duo took me home. Fed me his food, introduced me to his friends and gave me his things to use without a second thought.

J wanted me to wait on him hand and foot. Didn't care if I starved or bled to death. Kept me isolated from everyone else and hid me from the world.

Duo let me sleep in his bed, cuddled with me and kept me warm.

Duo was my first and only friend when he met me.

Duo actually cared about what I thought, felt, and wanted.

Does he want me to feel the same about him?

I hope so because I think I already do.

I curled into Duo again and placed my head back down on his chest. My breathing slowed down and my heart rate went back to normal as I tried to find my voice and when I did, my words still came out as a whisper.

"Do you think you could ever love me, Duo?"

"I think there's a good possibility of it. What about you? Could you ever date me and fall in love with me?"I could hear the smile in his words.

"We are already dating starting tomorrow." I reminded him softly.

"And after that? Do you think you could ever fall in love with me?" He asked softly.

"If I knew what love is I think maybe I can. Will you teach me, Duo?"

"I promise you, I'll try."

xoxoxoxoxox

Duo and I laid in bed a few more minutes before my stomach decided to interupt.

"Looks like your stomach wants to be fed. Although it has to be something cold I'm afraid." Duo climbed out of the bed and stood beside it waiting for me to join him. The biting cold air nipped at my feet and Duo decided that the robe wasn't going to be enough. He went over to his things and was already getting a pair of heavy wool socks out of the drawer before I knew it.

I wrapped the robe around me a little tighter as Duo put together a warm outfit for me to change into. He urged me to put on the socks before going down the hallway to the bathroom. I really had to pee and Duo probably knew that too. The hallway was dim since the doors were shut except for the one that opened to the bathroom. Duo handed me a flashlight and left me alone to do my business. My bladder felt better now that it was emptied, but there was no way I could flush it. It seemed rather rude and I didn't want something so simple as flushing a toilet be the cause of why Quatre would be irritated with me later. I put the seat down and went back to Duo's room and told him about it.

"Don't sweat it. There's nothing you can do about it. I'll warn Quatre about it if that'll make you feel better." I thanked him and sat on the bed as Duo went to tell Quatre. He returned a minute later and smiled.

"You can change in here, before you eat. I'll just be in the kitchen if you need me." Duo closed the door behind him as I nodded my thanks. As quickly as I could, I took off the robe and the tee shirt and short and pulled on the sweat pants, and sweater Duo had set for me.

The sweater was thick and heavy and was a beautiful pine green color. The sweats were black and felt warm against my legs. I couldn't help but feel bad for not having any underwear on while I was in Duo's clothes. That was going to definitely be on the list of things I needed to get from the house.

I walked out to the kitchen and saw that Duo had a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice on the table for me. I sat down next to him and glanced at it. Puffed rice. I took a few spoonfuls and found the taste to be pleasing. it was sweet but not unbearably so, just pleasant.

Duo glanced at me from time to time but mostly read the paper he had in front of him. I finished the cereal and drank some orange juice, as Duo put his paper down and smiled at me.

"Do you want anymore?" The question startled me.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask him.

"I said, do you want anymore? You have to eat Heero. Do you feel like a second helping or do you want to want and see if a restaurant still can cook after we go to your house?"

"Um... I think I'll wait." I couldn't help but stamer out as Duo neatly folded his paper and then grabbed my bowl and put it in the sink. I drank the last of my orange juice and put the now empty glass in the sink as well and turned to Duo.

"So you feel like heading out now?" I nodded. "Okay then. Grab that coat over there and make sure you have your keys." I did as he asked and showed him my keys. "Alright then let's go."

And we did.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC...

1) While I was in sculpture class, the power did go out due to a squirrel electrocuting itself in the power transformers. The dust collecting system blew a fuse and me and Annie-chan had to do our work outside in the snow because it smelled so bad in the studio. True story and one I really will never liked to repeat. Especially not in the winter which when the kamikaze squirrel decided to strike! My life is never dull it seems. Even more so when I was living in the dorms. sigh

_Another chapter is in the works and will be out soon. Now if only I had more ideas for my other fics. I'm open to suggestions, since it seems I'm just focused on this one and TSYA so far. I apologize to anyone who is reading the other fics that I have been neglecting. It's not intential, I swear. I just have been stuck on this fic and TSYA right now. Hopefully my mind will want to work on the others soon as well._

_Huggles! Please review and bear with me!_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

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"So how long have you actually lived in that house?" Duo asked me as we drove down the road. My house wasn't that far away, but given the traffic jam we were in, the trip was going to take a little while.

"Um... as far back as I can remember." I replied. I had been with J for a very long time and I just remembered slivers of another man who had taken care of me before J, but I didn't remember why I was with him.

"So how old are you? 17? 18?" It was Duo's turn to ask me questions since I had asked him a bunch last night. It was only fair that he know some things about me.

"I'm 17 right now, but I'll turn 18 in about two months, I think."

"You think? Don't you know when your birthday is?" Duo glanced at me and looked like he didn't believe my answer.

"I don't know when my real birth day is. My handlers never told me and there aren't any papers that would give me the exact day. All I know is Dr... I mean my former doctor told me it was in February. I dental scan let him know what age I was." I told Duo this matter-of-factly, but I think he had begun to feel sorry for me.

"That must really suck. Although my birthday is kind of interesting in its own right." He began to tell me then stopped as the car ahead of us finally moved. "Yes! Maybe we'll get somewhere now." The traffic started to move again and we were back on our trip. I wanted to know what Duo was going to say though.

"Interesting how?" I pressed, waiting for him to answer me.

"Oh, because my birthday is on Halloween. I bet my parents didn't like the irony of the whole trick or treat. I think I was a little of both since my parent's friend Howard told me that I had been a surprise to begin with." Duo chuckled a bit at that. I let a small smile stray onto my lips as we turned down the road to my house.

Duo was quite for a bit then and I knew that he was probably remembering old memories. Maybe some that he didn't want to remember at all. I couldn't help but feel guilty for dragging them up. I wanted to apologize, but it was cut short by Duo.

"Well, your house looks pretty much the same as it did the last time I was here. Although, I don't think I have to save you from starvation again, now do I?" I shook my head and unbuckled my seatbelt. Duo did the same and hopped out of the car. The car was Quatre's but he didn't mind Duo using it seemed. However, I think under the circumstances he didn't want me to fall off Duo's motorcycle with my belongings and was generous enough to tell Duo to use the car. Duo told me this while we were stuck in the traffic jam and it made me realize how trusting their friendship was.

I led the way and unlocked the door for the both of us. I tried the switch, but the light wouldn't turn on. The power must have been out here as well.

"Good thing I brought more flashlights. Quatre always has some in his car just in case." He went to fetch them and I waited by the door for him to come back. Even with the curtains open, the parlor looked dark. Mostly because it was so late in the evening and the sun was already starting to go down.

"Normal time stinks sometimes, doesn't it?" Duo asked me and handed me a flashlight. I switched it on and led the way to my room.

"It can be. I think it's only worse since there's still no power." I bent and looked under my bed for my satchel that had been there always and pulled it out by the cord. I unzipped it and shook it out before going over to my closet and drawers to look for clothes and other things.

"You have a nice place Heero, for what I can see in the dark. I don't mind the dark, but it is a pain when you want to cook and look for things. Do you want me to start looking for warm clothes in the closet?" Duo suggested as he put a flashlight on the dresser and had it standing up to reflect the light off the ceiling. I thought about it for half a second then complied.

"Sure, there isn't much in there though." I told him as he held another flashlight with his chin as he examined some clothes before taking them off the hanger, folding them and putting them in the satchel.

I grabbed a bunch of boxers and tee shirts to wear for night and stuffed them in there as well then went to the bathroom to get my soap.

"Heero you can use the soap and shampoo I have at the apartment." He must have followed me in because his light was trained on me. I didn't put the items back though as I turned to look at him.

"I don't want to burden you." Still not relenting my hold.

"You aren't. If you want to grab your own toothbrush I can understand and a hair brush too. But soap, shampoo, and toothpaste don't even worry about, we have plenty of it at the apartment and you have less hair than I do, so don't worry about it." I gave in and put them back, but grabbed my toothbrush and comb before exiting the bathroom.

I shoved those in the pouch as well and swiped the light across the room to make sure I didn't forget anything. I hadn't and then lead Duo back out into the parlor and then pulled the door shut. Duo took the sachtel from me when I locked the door and put it in the backseat of the car then sat in the driver's side. I double checked that the door was locked and looked to see if the windows were shut as well, then joined Duo in the car.

"All set?" I looked out once more then nodded to him.

"As ready as I am going to be." I replied as we took to the road once more.

xoxoxoxox

Duo turned into a small restaurant when we were half way back to the apartment. The place looked nice and clean with a friendly sign hanging above the parking lot. Duo got out and I followed him as we went in. Duo told the waitress we wanted a table for two, non-smoking. I let Duo do the talking since he was good at it and followed him to the table.

It was further back from the other people that were dining there and private enough for my liking, since too many people make me nervous. The waitress left us with the menu and Duo and I both slid into a chair across from each other. Duo smiled at me as I picked up the menu and glanced at it before realizing I couldn't pay for any of it. I wanted to tell Duo this, but I think he must have seen the worry on my face.

"Don't be so nervous Heero. I'm paying, just get whatever you want." He smirked at me then turned back the the page he was looking at.

"But Duo-"

"What would you gentlemen like to drink?" The waitress asked cutting me off. I looked briskly through the menu looking for the selection. I was a little confused since I had never been taken to a resturant before.

"I'll have a cup of coffee. Do you want some hot tea Heero?" Duo asked me after making his selection. I nodded to him and put my menu down and waited for the waitress to leave.

"Do you want to order or do you need a few more minutes?" She asked sweetly. I read her name tag. Katrina. Duo must have done the same because he smiled back.

"I think we'll need a bit more time Katrina, but thanks for asking." He replied.

"No problem. I'll be right back with your drinks." She walked away, leaving Duo and me alone once more.

"Heero, are you alright? Is that what you wanted? You can get something else later if you want to." He offered, kind as always.

"I'm fine Duo. It's just... I have never been out to a restaurant before." I admitted to him and waited to see if he would laugh.

"It's okay. There's nothing to it really. Just look in the menu and order what looks the best to eat. That's what I do. Everything here is pretty good, but if you want a recommendation, I'd go with the cream of mushroom soup and the chicken ceaser salad combo. It's really good and it'll warm you up." He suggested. The meal did look good. Maybe I should try it.

"Thanks Duo."

"No problem." The waitress was back with our drinks as soon as our conversation ended. Duo ordered a chicken fajita wrap and a cup of mushroom soup and I went with the selection he told me. Katrina wrote it down and smiled and told us we would get our soup before the actual meal as soon as it was ready.

We went back to chatting about random things. Duo didn't say anything reguarding me paying him back at all. Mostly we talked about how dumb squirrels could be for getting electrocuted and keeping us out of our homes during dinner times. I asked Duo how a restaurant could stay open and he told me it was a secret until I pestered him about it and revealed that he knew they had back-up generators.

I wanted to know how they worked and why didn't Duo have one. He said he couldn't afford one and besides, it was the landlord's job to get one of them in the first place. I made a mental note to myself to buy Duo a generator or a heater, so he wouldn't be cold the next time the power went out.

Our soup arrived and I sipped at it at first trying to see if I liked it or not. Duo was probably trying to gauge my reaction so I made it a point to keep my expression neutral. I sipped two more spoonfuls before he asked if I liked it.

"It's different from anything that I've ever had before." I told him and took a bigger spoonful.

"Is that in a good way or a bad one?" He wondered out loud.

"It's a good one. This is really good. I wish I could get this with my supplies every week." I told Duo who smirked at my answer.

"They do deliver, Heero. You could always call them and order it if you like it that much." I smiled at that fact and we both returned to eating in companionable silence.

Our main course arrived and I was glad that Duo had told me about it. It was cool and refreshing, but had enough spices in the chicken to make my taste buds tingle with happiness. We finished and Katrina asked if we wanted dessert. My stomach was full to the brim, but Duo it seemed had room for more. He surpried me and ordered two mango raspberry cheesecakes to go, two cups of the mushroom soup we had just had and an order of linguine in clam sause and an oriental chicken wrap, the waitress left to go prepare them.

Duo swayed a little in his seat while he waited for her to return. He seemed happy about something. Although I didn't know what.

"Why'd you order two cheesecakes and more food?" I finally asked him before the waitress came back. He gave me a smirk, but didn't say anything. So he made it a secret? Well, then I'd just wait for him to tell me later.

Katrina came back and gave Duo the bill, the food and the desserts. He got out the right amount and left a five dollar tip on the table under his coffee cup then stood up and pulled on his coat. I did the same and walked with him up to the register. He paid the woman there and told her to have a nice night, and then we were back out in the cold and getting into the car.

Duo buckled himself in and I did the same before he handed me the desserts and containers in a bag to hold. I did willingly as he started up the car and backed out of the parking space then drove onto the hard road.

"I bought two cheesecakes because one wouldn't be enough and there's more room to fill." He said as if that answered my question. I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. He just paid attention to the road until he pulled into the apartment parking lot.

"That still doesn't fully answer my question." I said huffly. Duo smirked again. I was begining to get annoyed at that smirk since it didn't tell me what I wanted to know.

"Just wait until we get back inside. You'll see." I didn't like that remark anymore than I had liked the other one, but I did have some patience, so I waited. Duo grabbed my satchel from the back seat and I carried the food as we walked to the door.

We walked up the stairs and got to the door and walked right on through since it was unlocked. Quatre and Trowa were sitting together on the couch underneath a heavy blanket and from what I could tell, Quatre was probably half in Trowa's lap.

"Hey guys. Hungry?" Duo asked with a smile.

"Famished. What'd you bring us?" Quatre asked and sat up straight.

"Linguine in clam sauce for Tro and an oriental chicken wrap for you Kat. I also got you a raspberry mango cheesecake that you can share with one another." So, that's why he'd gotten two.

"Thanks Duo, you have no idea how much we love you right now." Quatre said as he took one of the bags from me that had the food in them. Duo sat down in the other couch and patted the cushion next to him. I sat down on it and he took the other container from me.

"Are you up for some dessert? I promise it tastes good." Duo smiled and begged me with his eyes to try some. I was full, but I wasn't completely stuffed yet. I could fit in something sweet.

"Sure, can't wait to see what the fuss is about." Duo got up and got three forks. He gave one to Trowa and the other container with the cheesecake and took the other one and opened it before handing me a fork. The cake was definitely generous given its size and looked so good that my mouth began to water.

"Go ahead and try it Heero." Duo urged and I did. It was a citrusy blend of mango and cool tart reaspberry flavors. It was smooth and cool in my warm mouth and it felt like the treat would just dissolve right into my tongue. I couldn't help the moan on contentment that left my lips as I went in for another taste.

Duo chuckled lightly beside me as he took a bite for himself. "See, I told you it was good." I nodded in agreement and continued to steal bits of it. Eating it slowly so I could enjoy every bite.

Quatre and Trowa enjoyed their warm food and I saw them sharing bites of each other's food from time to time. I couldn't help but stare when they started on the cheesecake and fed each other bites from the same fork. I didn't realize I was actually staring until Duo whispered in my ear.

"Cute aren't they?" I nodded automatically before turning back to Duo to see what he thought of me, but he just smiled gently then went to throw out the empty box and the forks in the sink. I chanced another glance at the couple and couldn't help but wonder; could I ever have that?

It was something I would have never thought of before, given my history. But being near Duo and meeting the people in his life and seeing how it could be, somehow brought me hope. I hoped that maybe I could find someone to love me and treat me like I was worth something more than just a frustration outlet.

But more than anything I realized, I secretly wanted that person to be Duo.

If only I knew what love felt like, then I would know and I could tell him that. Duo was kind and gentle and I could see from how his friends treated him, he wasn't just putting up a front to get something from them. He respected them and he respected me. He teased, he cuddled, he made jokes and laughed even if he was the only one to think the punchline was funny. Duo Maxwell was definitely a friend I wanted to keep.

After the others finshed eating, Duo and I pushed the couch we were sitting in closer to the other two and Duo brought out a deck of cards. We played Egyptian rat screw, rummy, and gin. We tried to play poker but everyone forgot some of the rules and we were pretty much cheating.

I really didn't know the games that well so the three of them spent some time at the beginning of each new game telling me the rules and showing me how to play. It was fun and sort of eerie with the flashlights and candles lighting up the room. It was intimate in a friendly kind of level and Duo's warmth beside me didn't fail to remind me of who I slept beside at night now.

It was getting pretty late and I started to doze off in my seat so Duo quietly ended the game and picked me up. I was a little shocked at first and tried to fight him since I didn't realize it was him, but then I remembered who carried me. Duo fished me out a tee shirt for me to wear. I kept the sweat pants on and just striped out of the sweater and gave it to Duo. Duo threw it in the hamper while I put on the tee shirt and then went to change himself while I was in the room. He didn't seem to mind and quickly came into the bed and snuggled against me. I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled as close as I had last night and was soon in the land of dreams before I knew it.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC...

Please Review.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A few weeks past and for the first time in my life, I was actually happy and content with my life. During the day, I helped do every day chores with Quatre and Duo. Whether it was doing everyone's laundry or washing the dishes, I had helped them out to the best of my abilities. I even found that I liked staying with them better than being alone all the time. Most nights were the same, Duo would get home first and then Quatre would come in an hour later. Sometimes I would cook dinner for them since I had nothing better to do, but most of the time I helped Duo or Quatre make something.

Duo and Quatre both had jobs, Duo's I already knew about, but Quatre's was a bit more complicated. He was the head of a major corporation and was often out the door before Duo and I woke up. It was a bit odd the first time I noticed it and Duo was quick to reassure me Quatre's absence was due to his job. Later, I found out that Quatre's job was family related. Quatre had the final say in everything in the company since he was the only male in his family out of the twenty-nine sisters he had.

That revelation stunned me a little, but Duo just laughed and joked about how it was a good thing Quatre had money. When I asked him why, he said they owned a ton of houses and mansions and thankfully everyone had their own place, otherwise they would have the largest record of bathrooms in one house. With twenty-nine sister, I could see why Quatre would like males more. He was around too many females when he was younger, so it would make some sense why he was attracted to men more. It was an odd way to look at it, but when I told Duo this, he just agreed with me and startled me more when Quatre had said the same thing.

Duo let me join him when he went to work and I even helped him make deliveries. His boss and friend, Howard, offered me to work with Duo if I wanted to. I was a little hesitant to accept, but when Duo pouted at me and asked me to himself, I just couldn't say no. Duo and I were a team when we went out and dropped off the packages to their respective locations and soon many people came to recognize me as Duo's silent helper. I didn't mind working with Duo, not at all, but I feared that the people were insinuating something more than what we were.

I was partially disturbed the one day when we had to deliver pet supplies to this one lady and she made a comment about how it was nice of him to take a quiet, pretty girl like me out. When Duo explained to her I just didn't like to talk that much and I was his partner, she told him to take his time and I would open up eventually. Duo laughed and said he would not even bothering to mention I was a guy and walked back over to me where I was waiting in the truck. We drove off and Duo laughed as he drove us back to the docking bay to pick up more supplies.

"What so funny about what she said?" I demanded finally, having overheard their conversation. Duo stopped laughing and only giggled from time to time as he told me.

"She thought that you were a pretty girl, Heero and a shy one at that!" I scowled at him and then turned away to look out the window.

"Why'd she think I was a girl?" I asked quietly.

"Probably because the only other person whose been in the car with me has been Hilde. She's a real spitfire when she wants to be. I haven't seen her in ages though. Maybe I'll give her a call tonight. I think you would like her if you met her, Heero. She's really sweet when she wants to be. Unfortunately, most of the time she's swearing like a truck driver and working at the scrapyard." Duo laughed a bit and I laughed too, even though it felt like there was an ice pit forming in my stomach.

I didn't know who this Hilde person was, but Duo seemed to like her. Maybe they were like Quatre and Trowa. If Duo wanted her back in his life maybe I should leave. Every night I would sleep snuggled into Duo and every day we would do things together, but he never tried to kiss me or do anything like Quatre and Trowa did. I almost envied them at times, because I wanted to do those things with Duo. I just didn't know how to start doing them.

When we got back to the apartment Quatre was there, which was a surprise in itself, since he had been busy all week, but he was making us dinner and I gave him a hand as Duo excused himself. Duo took the phone with him and went into his bedroom and shut the door, I watched him go as I stirred the sauce for the pasta Quatre was making. I couldn't help but feel a little depressed that Duo didn't want us to hear his conversation, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Heero, can you pass me the salt?" Quatre asked and held out his hand.

"Sure." I grabbed the salt shaker and watched as he add a few sprinkles to the pasta as he stirred it up and let it boil. I stirred the sauce and watched the bubbles come to the surface to break before reducing the heat and covering it to keep it warm. Quatre diced up some celery and I chopped some lettuce for the salad. We shared a quiet companionship for a few minutes until I couldn't take it any more.

"Quatre, who's Hilde?" I blurted it out and I must have shocked Quatre for a moment, for he just blinked at me for a second before shaking himself and smiling at me.

"Um, Hilde's a friend of Duo's back when we were in high school. She used walk through the halls like a hippie with all her styles and short indigo hair. She would make her own clothes and have fashion shows during school spirit week. Duo used to hang out with her a lot when I wasn't around. Why do you ask?"

"Duo brought her up when this lady mistook me for a girl and told me Hilde was the only one who ever rode in the car besides him. He didn't really tell me who she was." I told him.

"Well... Duo gets off track sometimes and doesn't go into details about things he rambles on about. Don't worry too much about it. He probably just thought of her since the lady said something. Oh!" Quatre quickly got up and turned off the stove. The paste was boiling over onto the stove. "Shit!" He took the pot off the burner with a pair of oven mittens and put the pot on a hot pad to cool. "Heero, can you go get Duo and tell him it's time to eat, please?"

"Of course." I got up and went to knock on Duo's door. I didn't get an answer, so I opened the door and peered in. Duo lay flat on his back laughing and talking on the phone. Unable to help myself, I slowed my breathing and listened to him talk.

"Yeah, I know I should, but I just can't help it... I know. Hahaha, very funny. So do you want to go out for dinner this week?"

Go out to dinner? With her? I blinked a few times and looked at how relaxed Duo was. He was smiling a lot too. My heart began to ache and I couldn't understand why. I knew I shouldn't be listening to his conversation, but I couldn't help myself.

"Your call, where do you want to meet? At the park? Awesome. Okay, well I better go. Quatre is probably busting his cute little blond head of his over dinner. He's such a sweet heart... Yeah, I know he does. His face gets this cute little pout on it when he thinks about him... I'm serious... No, I won't do that to him. Not even for you... Okay maybe for you. I gotta go. Talk to you later. Bye."

I snuck back out the door and knocked on it, pretending to just be coming in. "Duo supper's ready."

"Okay, Kat didn't make a mess did he?" I shook my head. He sniffed the air a little. "Smells delicious." He remarked and rolled off the bed. We headed back down the hallway just in time to see Quatre start dishing out the pasta.

"Enjoy your phone call?" Quatre asked as he passed Duo a plate filled with spaghetti.

"Yeah. Hilde's still a doll and a hippie through and through." He laughed as he twirled some pasta on his fork. "I'm going to go out to dinner with her tomorrow night, so don't wait up for me. I'll make sure to drop you off here before I go out, Heero."

"Okay." I replied as I dug into my own pasta and began to nibble on it. I didn't really feel like eating, but Duo would ask me if something was wrong if I didn't eat anything. I made myself clean my plates and act like nothing was bothering me, but inside, I was falling apart.

Duo did the dishes himself since Quatre cooked. I watched the news with Quatre while Duo put the dishes away and then came to join us on the couch, and sat right next to me. We watch the world news and half way through it Quatre got up and went to his room. When he comes out he's dressed in a light blue button down shirt and black slacks that look good on him.

"Whoa Kat. Do you have a hot date?" Duo whistles and Quatre just rolls his eyes.

"I have to go to that gallery opening tonight. Trowa will be here any minute." As soon as he finishes the sentence there's a knock on the door. "And there he is, told you." Duo sticks his tongue out at him as Quatre rushes to get the door. Trowa stands in the doorway as it opens, dressed in an emerald green silk shirt and black dress pants. He hold out a box to Quatre who accepts it with a blush on his cheeks.

"I thought a sterling rose would look nice on you. It brings out your eyes." Trowa says in that deep smooth voice of his. He opens the box and put the lapel on Quatre's shirt then leans in for a quick kiss.

"How thoughtful of you. It's beautiful and you look absolutely stunning." Quatre's eyes trail down his lover's form and he smiles, pleased with Trowa's appearance. They're so in love with one another and this is one of the times I'm jealous of what they share.

"Ready to go?" Trowa asks and holds out his arm to Quatre who accepts it and puts his own arm through Trowa's.

"Fine guys don't say hello or anything!" Duo shouts. Trowa just smiles at us and nods as if that is his greeting.

"Hello Duo and hello to you as well Heero. We won't be back for a while so don't wait up. I might not bring him back here tonight." Trowa smirks and Quatre lays his head on his tall lover's shoulder.

"Fine fine. You better take care of him Tro. I'm warning you!" Duo threats, but it is only jokingly since he and I both know Trowa would never hurt Quatre. If anything, Trowa would be the one to hurt anyone who came too close to Quatre if they intended to harm him in any way.

"Goodnight guys!" Quatre yells as they head out and shut the door behind them.

Duo slides back down in his seat and relaxes once more and focuses on the screen. Now that I'm alone with him, I don't know what to say or do. I stare at the TV as well, but I don't really see anything. After a few moments I excuse myself and tell Duo I'm going to take a shower. He tells me to enjoy it and I quickly gather some clothes to wear to bed and then go run the water so it gets hot.

I strip my clothes off and pile them on the floor then take a good look at myself in the mirror over the sink. I look healthier than I ever have since I started living here. With Duo and Quatre's help and friendship, I started to eat better and not wear myself out so soon, but the whole thing with Hilde, and Duo knowing and liking this... girl, has me worried.

What if Duo doesn't want me in his bed anymore after he sees her tomorrow? What will happen if he finally realizes that I'm just a waste of space? A nobody. A nothing. Will he make me leave and go back to the way things were?

I really don't want to go back to that. I don't think I could if I tried.

Duo is the only friend I ever made. My first friend. If I lose him, I'll lose Quatre and Trowa and even though I don't know them as well as I do Duo, they're still my friends too.

I lean heavily on the sink before turning away and getting into the shower. The warm water is heaven against my flesh and I just spend a few moments reveling in the heat of the water sprinkling down on me. When I get out, I feel better, cleaner and warmer than I was when I was sitting on the couch. My skin is tinged pink from the hot water but I'll only feel cold again once I step out of this room. My clothes are folded on the toilet lid and I'm still only wrapped in a towel. Just standing there a few minutes I allow myself to breathe, calm my raging mind and relax my body before Duo notices I'm so tense.

I drop the towel and pull on a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. The towel I hang up over the shower door and turn on the fan to disperse the steam that has fogged up the bathroom. As soon as I opened the door, I felt the cooler air of the hall caress my face.

"Heero?" Duo called my name and after depositing my dirty clothes in the hamper, I went out to see what he wanted. Duo smiled up at me where he was leaning against the arm of the couch. "Come join me."

"I'm- I'm actually tired Duo. I think I'll go to bed early." I said. I wasn't really tired, but I didn't want to bother Duo with my negative thoughts either.

"Oh come on. It's a good movie, Trowa picked it up yesterday and I have to take it back to the store in a few days, so why not come and watch it with me now. I promise, if you fall asleep I'll wake you up and put you to bed, okay?" Duo asked, eyes pleading with mine until I gave in. I swear Quatre taught him how to do those puppy eyes perfectly. I just couldn't say no to him when he used them on me. "You'll enjoy it, come here."

Walking over to the couch, I felt a bit odd because Duo was stretched out across most of the couch. There was a bit of room at the very end of it, but I didn't want Duo to think I was putting space between us. Of course, I didn't really have a choice either, so I sat on the bit of couch that wasn't occupied by Duo's body and watch the previews. Duo noticed my location and obviously felt bad about it.

"Sorry Heero, I'm taking up a lot of room." He pouted then smiled just as fast. "I have an idea. Come and sit in between my legs."

"What?" I snapped my head towards him so fast it made a cracking sound.

"Come sit between my legs, you'll be more comfortable."

"Duo, I don't think I'll be more comfortable." That suggestion made me nervous more than anything. Duo sat up a little bit more, propped up by pillows behind his head and then leaned over and hooked his hands underneath my armpits and dragged me up the couch in between his thighs.

"Just lean back and rest your head on my chest." I tried and laid until my head was touching him. "Relax Heero. You're so tense." Duo wrapped his arms around me so I had no choice but to rest my entire torso on him. He didn't seem to mind one bit. After all, it was his idea in the first place. "Comfy?" I nodded, surprised that I was comfortable in this position.

"What about you? I'm going to squish you." I told him and I felt his chest vibrate under me as he laughed.

"No you won't. Just relax and enjoy the movie. If you feel like your going to fall asleep, just sleep. I'll wake you up when the movie's over." Duo told me and ran his fingers through my hair. The caress was so gentle, and soft that my eyes felt heavy already.

I did get to watch some of the movie, but fell asleep only a quarter way through it I later found out. When I woke up, I was in bed with Duo and I had my head pillowed on his chest. I didn't even feel him move me.

Sunlight was peeking through the window, just the barest breaking of the dawn. Duo still slept soundly and the rhythmic beating of his heart and breath was tempting me to go back to sleep. But something felt different. I looked down at Duo's chest and realized what it was. Duo didn't have a shirt on. My cheek was resting on him without the barrier of clothes.

For a few moments I didn't move, then slowly I got up and leaned on one elbow since I didn't want to wake him. I stared down at Duo's serene face and then trailed my eyes lower to the lovely sight of Duo's chest. The soft fair skin, tanned but only to give it some color without taking away his natural beauty. He was well muscled, lean and wiry and two pink nipples rose up from his chest. Tentatively, I stretched out my hand and brushed one of the small pink nubs. Duo moaned and I snatched my hand back, shocked at my boldness.

Duo didn't wake up, but moved a bit, snuggling into the pillows more. To see him like this, so relaxed and warm, made my heart flutter in my chest and made me want to just see how his skin tasted. Maybe he wouldn't feel it if I kissed his chest.

I wanted to be with Duo and I was surprised that I wanted him, desired him even with all I had been through. I was about to bend down and kiss him when Quatre banged on the door.

"Guys you better get up, I made breakfast!" He knocked on the door again and Duo sat straight up and smacked his forehead right into mine.

"OW!" We both yelled out at the same time.

"Geez, what the hell did I hit? Heero?" He rubbed his forehead a bit and looked down at me. The sudden shock of Duo waking up caused me to fall back down on the bed.

"Sorry Duo." I rubbed my own head where it was throbbing. Served me right for trying to kiss him.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned and leaned over me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"

"Peachy. You have one hard head. Talk about a wake up call with a splitting headache." He sat up and stretched a bit then, his bones cracking. "We better go and see what Kat cooked us." He ruffled my messy hair then got out of bed and went out the door, leaving me still sitting in bed.

Quatre called again and I got out and headed for the kitchen trying to salvage the morning.

We left like usual and did our job. Duo and I talked and laughed throughout the day, but it seemed to go by faster than I wanted it to. And before I knew it, Duo and I came back home and he got ready to pick up Hilde.

"I don't know how late we're going to be out, so don't wait up for me." He called just before he went out the door. The slam of the door seemed to echo in my head and it took all I had not to run out the door and beg him to stay. I couldn't do that any way without revealing everything, so I stayed quiet and made dinner for just Quatre and me.

Quatre got home around six and was exhausted. He told me about his day and I listened to him as he described how the company had to take care of this division chair that was as stubborn as a mule. They were planning to fire him since he had zero tolerance for people who were different than him and Quatre knew for a fact the man hated him. Quatre settled down after that and asked how the deliveries went, I told him about it, even though nothing of interest happened.

Sometimes I wished I could see what Quatre did all day, when I told him, he said I could come with him one day just to see what it was like. I thanked him and we went back to eating.

We finished our dinner in peace and then Trowa came over a little while later. We played some card games and then they excused themselves as they went to bed. I sat and watched TV for a while by myself, I couldn't help but feel lonely and noticed how quiet it was without Duo in the house.

I took my shower and went to bed early, but found I couldn't sleep. The noises coming from Quatre's room didn't keep me up since if I didn't know what they were doing I probably wouldn't have been listening in the first place. I just wasn't tired and found myself missing Duo. I had grown so used to having his arms around me at night and his scent filling my nose, that I couldn't sleep without him.

Hours must have passed and finally at three in the morning I heard the bedroom door open. Duo was silent as he moved around the room and undressed in the dark. I watched him strip down to his boxers then he turned and looked at me, as if he knew I was still awake.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hey."

"I thought I said not to wait up for me." He crossed the room and sat on the bed looking down at me.

"I couldn't sleep." I wanted to say 'because you weren't in here with me', but I stopped myself before it tumbled out.

"Well, I'm here now. So don't worry and get some sleep." I nodded and waited as Duo peeled off his socks then lifted the blankets and got in. I couldn't help myself and wrapped my arms around him tightly as he laid down.

"You missed me didn't you?" He whispered to me. I nodded once then laid my head on his chest, right over his heart and listened to it beating beneath my ear. Duo stroked my hair and then did something surprising, he kissed the top of my head. The action startled me, but I didn't show it. "I missed you too, Heero."

I relaxed against him and closed my eyes, I finally felt warm again and it flooded through my entire body.

I dreamed that night, everything that I had wished for and I lived it through my dream. Although, when I woke up, I was still in Duo's arms, but I knew my dreams would have to wait. Duo wasn't ready to hear them and I wasn't ready to speak them, but some day I would tell him, even if he pushed me away. He would know how I felt and then I could die happily.

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TBC...

Please Review.

A/N: Sterling roses are a beautiful purple color and very expensive!

Thanks to the reviewers: **_DKJoy _**(Thank you for all the reviews Huggles you and gives you cookies!), **_Pryzm_ **(BW is awesome and I can't wait for you to update again! Thanks for reading and reviewing my fic, there will be more very soon!), **_Shinigami-koi _**(Lovely poems and fics, I tried reviewing them but MM was being evil; I loved them!), **_Reneedmrs _**(Thanks for the review and I hope you continue to write), **_Vidalark_** ( I always love your comments and please review again!), **_Lady Katasha_ **(Thanks for the kind words. You rule!), **_Serena429 _**(I hope I update fast enough for you!), **_ZaKai_** (Sorry for making you hungry, but I have to feed them. It would be cruel not to.),** _Nikkler _**(Huggles back! Work does suck sometimes, if not always when you don't want to be there. I hope you get that nap you needed. Hug.), **_Hkokuryuha_** (I was sad for the squirel too, but he did get his revenge and caused me to have class in the snow. _), **Tati1**_ (Thank you. I'm glad you like it.), _**Anissa32** _(It happens don't feel too bad. Feel free to review as much as you like. I love getting feedback.), **_EquineAngel_ **( It's a very emotional rollarcoaster story. If you want another one like this check out my other fic: To See You Again, it'll cause you to feel all sorts of things.), **_Black Dog Goddess Suiyou_** ( Thanks for the candy! Huggles! I hope you review again. This story won't be done for a while, but I have many things to do with it, so no worries! Thanks for the feedback and comments.) **_Yaoi Kitty _**(Glad to have you back and up to date. Thanks for the review!)

_**Huggles all the reviewers and gives out freshly baked cookies! **_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

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I was warm once again. Duo had returned to me even though he went to meet that girl. The upper hand was mine once again and I had to take this opportunity before it slipped through my fingers. Duo looked up at me once I moved away from him.

"Heero, what's wrong? Go back to sleep, it's still early." Duo whined and tired to bury himself in the pillows again.

"Duo I have to tell you something important." I pleaded with him and he opened one eye at me.

"Can't it wait a little while longer?"

"No, it can't." I couldn't wait any longer or I'd lose my nerve.

"I love you Duo, or at least I think it's love that I feel for you. It has to be love. I always wanted to tell you, but I was afraid to do it." I sat in bed and told Duo my feelings as bluntly as I could without sounding too desperate. It was now or never, the moment of truth. Duo just sat there next to me stunned beyond reason as to why I would tell him I loved him. "It's true Duo. I feel something for you more than I do with anyone else. I feel connected to you, when your with me. I can't sleep without you holding me in your arms at night. I miss you when your away and I was jealous when you went to see that girl!" There, I finally said it.

"Oh." Duo said, but didn't look at me.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say?" I demanded, searching Duo's beautiful violet orbs for some kind of sign that he understood I was pouring my heart into my confession. He could have said something else besides 'oh' to me! Maybe I startled him too much.

"Duo, I want to stay with you. I don't want to leave you, or you to leave me. Please tell me you feel something towards me?" Duo smirked and looked up at me, his face unreadable and his eyes cold. Cold and lustful.

"You really love me?"

"Yes."

"And you'll do anything for me to love you back?" I hesitated, but then thought better of it.

"Yes." I whispered out. Duo smiled at me gently and I beamed one of my own at him.

"I love you too, Heero. I love your beauty and grace and your perfect body. Let's not wait anymore!" He concluded.

"Let's not wait anymore for what?" I asked confused.

"To show how much we love each other. Take your clothes off." Duo ordered.

"Um... Duo, I don't think..."

"Don't you love me?" He demanded fiercely.

"I just told you I do."

"Then what's the problem. Take off your clothes right now. I want to see all of you Heero." I obeyed and removed my tee shirt and boxers and sat there in all my glory. Duo stripped just as fast and then pushed my shoulders down so I had no choice but to lay down. Duo straddled my hips then leaned forward and kissed me.

I wasn't experienced at all, but I was more than willing to learn how to kiss Duo. His lips were soft on my own and then I felt a wetness against them. I opened my mouth to ask what it was and the wet thing entered my mouth. I realized belatedly it was Duo's tongue. He licked the inside of my cheeks and my palette then brushed my tongue with his. I could taste him and he was divine.

Duo pulled back after a moment then kissed my cheek, I closed my eyes, not needing to see Duo as he let his lips travel down my neck and kiss me with his talented lips and tongue. It felt so good and I didn't want him to stop and then all I felt was pain. I hissed as I felt teeth sink into my neck. Blood was pouring from my veins and my eyes popped open, alarmed at the sudden change.

Duo wasn't the one straddling my hips any longer. It was J.

"You thought I was dead my little slut? Well think again. Duo could never love a piece of trash like you. What do you have to offer him? He doesn't want a ravished hole like yours, or maybe he does." J sneered. Terror gripped my heart and froze me in place as J trailed a hand down my naked body and gripped the soft, tender flesh between my thighs hard enough to bruise.

I felt as my hands were pulled up and latched to the headboard with ropes and then my legs moved upward and spread apart, leaving me wide and open. The room grew darker, colder and I was suddenly back in J's lab where he used to take me. J smirked at my new position and laughed as I started to struggle against my bonds.

"Struggle all you like, but you won't get out of them. Wear yourself out, go ahead! It'll be much easier for us to take you." I looked at J then and saw three figures emerge behind him. Quatre, Trowa and Duo all stood there, naked and their manhoods erect. "Come boys, this honey pot is a beauty to take!" Duo approached the bed first and kneeled between my legs looking me over, then reached out a hand and fondled me roughly. Just as soon as he did it, he stopped and before I knew it, he was mounting me.

He drove his cock in hard and deep then began thrusting into me. In and out, in and out, faster and faster and it burned, it burned so much! I could feel my insides tearing apart and bleeding and still Duo continued until he came with a hoarse cry.

I didn't realize I was screaming until I saw Duo move away and slink back into the shadows.

"Why? Why did you do this to me! I love you, why would you do this, Duo! I thought you were different! You were supposed to protect me from this! Why do you hate me? Why why why why?" I cried and sobbed and didn't care when I felt Quatre mount me next. I couldn't do anything and just watched as Duo slowly disappeared into the darkness and J cackling at my misery and pain.

I wished for death, but I knew it wouldn't come. Death would leave me in this hell with my heart shattered in my chest.

After an eternity, I felt the bonds release me and I curled in a ball and sobbed until I didn't have anything left. My eyes felt heavy and I was sick to my stomach. It was then I felt gentle hands on my shoulder, causing me to tense as I felt the hands shake me a bit. Just let me die I pleaded with them, but they wouldn't let me go.

"Heero, wake up. Heero." I heard a voice call to me and felt warm breath against my cheek. I tried to move away, but it wouldn't let me. There were arms holding me from behind and a soft voice was calling my name. Duo's voice.

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I was in Duo's room and it was morning. Duo had his arms wrapped around me like he always did and was trying to wake me up. I rolled toward him and looked into his face. His eyes warm and cheerful and squinted at the corners because of his smile.

They were no longer cold or lust crazed, they were the real Duo's eyes. The Duo that was my friend. The Duo who took me in, made me his work partner, watched movies and played cards with. The only person who cared about me and rescued me from starvation and now made sure I ate right. He was the only one to truly make me happy.

"Hi sleepyhead." He whispered to me. I stared at him a full minute and Duo's face suddenly changed into full blown concern. "Heero? What's wrong?"

I shook myself a bit and snapped myself out of it and then made a bold move. Leaning forward, I pressed my face into Duo's bare chest and then latched onto him with both arms.

"Just hold me for a few minutes Duo, please?" I whispered desperately. Duo's arms came up around me a second later, one around my waist and one around my shoulders with a hand that cradled the back of my head. Duo's scent surrounded me and I breathed in deeply to fill my whole lungs and felt more grounded with every intake of breath.

After an all too brief eternity, Duo asked in a worried voice, "Heero, you're scaring me. Please tell me, what's wrong?"

"Nightmare." I whispered to him, but didn't explain any further. I couldn't. Not without revealing everything about myself to him.

"I was wondering why you were crying in your sleep." I had been crying? I knew I was crying in the nightmare, but I was actually crying while I was asleep. I burrowed into Duo a little more to block out everything but him and felt as those magic fingers worked their way through my hair. "Don't be embarrassed, Heero. If it was bad one then I'd probably cry too. It's over now."

He kissed the top of my head again and it didn't feel so strange now. I welcomed it as a good distraction from my confused mind.

Duo rocked me back and forth a bit until I calmed down and I let go of the him reluctantly. I couldn't bear to look at him yet, but felt as he wiped his thumb underneath my eyes, drying my tears. We were quiet for a few minutes neither of us talking. Then Duo reached out his hands and cupped my face so I had to look at him. He searched my eyes for a few minutes before speaking.

"Heero, nightmares are bad when you fight them alone, and you can always change them if if remember they're just figments of your unconscious. Don't let them get to you." He softly told me and before I could keep it to myself, my mouth flew open.

"And what if they aren't just things from my unconscious mind? What if they really happened? Will happen?" I asked hoarsely. Well I sure told him a lot, didn't I?

"Then just tell me about them so I can try and make them stop from happening." I looked away from him. I couldn't do that.

"Heero, do you think I'm going to leave you? That I have been using you all this time?" He demanded.

"No, I know you're not using me, but I... " I couldn't say it. I tried to change the subject. "Did you have a nice time with Hilde?" Duo frowned at me.

"I did. I missed her, but she's just a friend Heero, nothing more and nothing less. I know you're trying to change the subject, but just let me tell you this. I am not leaving you for Hilde. I care about you the most, so don't give me this song and dance that you're okay with me seeing someone else, because I can tell you're not. You couldn't even fall asleep without me here and that tells me you were worried about me. Don't shut me out. Tell me what's wrong."

Duo's words shocked me and I continued to look down at the blankets. He had seen right through me. He knew I was upset that he went to see his friend and knew that was why I couldn't sleep without him. I breathed a sigh and looked right at him this time.

"Yes, I was upset you went out with Hilde, but I don't know exactly why. I-I care about you, Duo. So much that I couldn't sleep without you here. I can't tell you about the nightmare, though. I'm sorry, I just can't. Maybe someday I'll be able to, but not right now."

"Acceptable." Duo ruffled my hair a bit then opened his arms to me. I smiled at this then took advantage of his offer and gave him a hug. "Go take a shower, you're all sweaty." I slid out of his embrace and out of bed and went to get some clothes to put on after my shower.

"Oh and Heero." I stopped and looked over at Duo still sitting on the bed. "I care about you too, more than you know." He smiled at me softly as I went out the door, feeling lighter than I had been in that horrible nightmare.

I let the water clean off all the sweat and oils on my body and briskly dried and dressed before joining Duo in the kitchen. Quatre and Trowa were nowhere to be found yet, which wasn't too surprising given their nightly activities. I found Duo sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of him. He munched on it happily as he read the paper and then looked up as I approached him.

"Feel better?" I nodded and sat next to him, pouring myself a bowl of cereal. I dug in and read the other section of the paper Duo hadn't been reading, which happened to be the comics. I liked reading them. J had never let me read anything so humorous and even after he died I didn't read them, because the paper J got never had them in there.

I laughed softly as I read them and caught Duo's glances at me from time to time. He had this soft look in his eyes whenever he looked at me and it never failed to make me feel warm inside. I finished the comics and placed my bowl in the sink after I finshed with my cereal and went into he living room and turned on the news. What I saw turned that warm feeling into instant ice.

There on the news was my house and a woman reporter standing outside of it.

"This is Sarah Harrison reporting live in front of this house that is in our very own town. Not many people go near it because some say it's cursed and others believe a mad scientist lives in it. Well today our questions will have answers to them.

"A few days ago police were called to action when a person named Dr. G said his colleague hadn't been reporting in. It was a bit suspicious since the good doctor was very punctual and thorough in his work and so Dr. G filed a missing persons case. The police arrived on the scene this morning after attempting to locate on any whereabouts on the doctor via his accounts to see if any of them are active. It was found that the accounts were activated for some time, but are no longer with the exception to the stocks that gain interest as well as the continued gain of money from private owners payments for the doctor's services.

"The police have searched the house and there are signs that the two people who are living here have been living in it, but not for a while. Dr. J and his assistant Heero Yuy, although neither one was inside the home, it is highly possible that they have gone to another location for the time being. But this station is making it clear, since the warden set this up himself this morning. If neither Heero Yuy or Dr. J claim the house within a month's time, the house will be quarantined. Back to you in the studio."

"That was a report on you and your house Heero." I closed my eyes tight as Duo stated the facts very clearly. "Is that what you didn't want to tell me?" I heard Duo's foot steps come closer and stop in front of me. The TV was turned off and I slowly opened my eyes, bracing myself as much as I could for the blows to come, but they didn't.

Duo's eyes were still soft but they held a determination in them as well. There was no way I was going to get out of answering these questions.

"Why didn't you tell me about Dr. J or that it was his house you lived in? Tell me why?" I steeled myself, but felt the tears well up in my eyes and begin to fall down my cheeks as I looked up at Duo and answered him as truthfully as I could.

"Because you would hate me."

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TBC...

Thank You to all the Reviewers and Readers! Huggles! Yes, I know more sappy and angsty bits but don't worry it won't last for very long! Please Review!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

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"Why would I hate you Heero?" Duo demanded.

"Because I had to keep secrets from you." Duo smirked a bit.

"Everyone has secrets Heero, even me. I'm not trying to hassle you into anything. I just want to know if what they said on the news is true." Duo asked me softly.

"It is. I lived with J ever since I can remember."

"You said lived, as in past tense. I didn't see him when I delivered your supplies to you or that day I found you starving to death and passing out." Duo frowned a bit and locked eyes with me. "Where is he now?" I couldn't lie to Duo.

"He's dead. I buried him in the back yard." Duo's eyes widened and his jaw hung open for a minute before he sputtered back to normal and shook himself a bit. He took a few deep breaths and then turned away, going to look out the window.

"You didn't kill him did you?" Duo asked, not looking at me. The loss of those beautiful eyes made me go cold inside, but still I plowed on, determined to answer all of Duo's questions no matter what.

"No, I didn't. One morning, I was making him his breakfast and he didn't show up. So, I went looking for him and found him dead on the floor of his bedroom. I didn't know what else to do, since I didn't want him to start to stink, I just buried him in the backyard."

"And now people are looking for the both of you." Duo turned back to me, the look he gave me was icy and I had to look away.

"Yes, they are." I didn't know what else to say. Duo probably didn't want me here anymore. That thought caused my heart to twist painfully in my chest, but I would do it anyway if that's what Duo wanted. "I-I'll leave."

"What?" Duo looked up at me sharply, stunned.

"I'll go back... back to the house and explain to them w-what happened. I've c-caused you enough t-trouble. I'll go b-back today if y-you want m-m-me to." I said a bit shakily and bit my lip before I started to cry.

I didn't want to go back to the house, not unless I absolutely had to. Duo would have his own bed again with me gone from it. That should make him happy. Maybe he and Hilde could go back to being whatever they were before I came along. I had lost my chance at having him before I could even tell him what I felt.

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts I didn't feel when Duo came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "Heero, calm down." Duo whispered in my ear, startling me. I trembled in his arms, feeling like this was the last time he would ever hold me like this. "Shhh. It's okay. I don't want you to leave Heero. Don't say such things. It's just a shock for me to find out you were living with a doctor for so long and have all this information poured into my brain in one day. I'm not trying to accuse you of anything either. It's just my curiosity talking. I didn't mean to make you think I wanted you to leave."

Duo kept holding me and whispered words of comfort into my ear, telling me to let it out, but I was afraid to do it. "It's okay Heero, just let it out. Let yourself go. It's okay to cry, I'm right here." I broke in his arms again and cried into his soft, warm neck. Hot tears soaked Duo's shirt in seconds and all I could do was hold onto Duo.

When I was spent and the rest of my strength left me, Duo gathered me up in his arms and carried me to the couch. He sat down with me in his lap and stroked my hair away from my eyes. He even wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead. He waited for me to settle down and fixed me with those lovely orbs.

"Can you tell me about your life before I found you?" He asked me gently. I turned the question around in my head before relenting. Duo deserved to know.

"I don't remember much before Dr. J, but I know there was a man before him that taught me how to defend myself with self defense and all kinds of weapons. J had me when I was very young and wanted to further that training along with others. He said I was going to be his perfect weapon, the perfect solider. He told me to suppress my emotions and not show them even if I felt something. It was hard to do that, but I learned anyway. Although in order to do that and become his perfect weapon, I had to be educated as well."

"Every day I was to study one chapter of each and every different subject he would give me and memorize everything and repeat it back to J in order to pass. He'd test me every week on the subject matters and if I didn't get everything perfect, I was... punished."

"Punished? How?" Duo frowned and waited for me to continue. I felt my body start to tremble again and closed my eyes tightly before answering him.

"J would beat me, either with a whip or other things that hurt terribly, but normally he would use me." I swallowed painfully and looked at Duo and saw confusion in his eyes. I had no choice but to enlighten him about what I was. "J fucked me like his own personal whore. He liked taking me since I was helpless. He would strap to a metal table and take me whenever he wanted. I had no choice but to obey, unless I wanted to suffer a beating. Even after that he made sure I was to hurt to fight back and would leave me laying there in agony for hours, until he saw it fit. I got to shower afterwards, but it was always cold and made my muscles cramp. It was like living in hell, if there is such a place."

Duo's mouth dropped open and I turned my face away, not wanting to see the disgust that Duo was probably feeling. After all, he'd been sharing his bed with me for the past few months. He wouldn't be able to see me like he had before. I was tarnished.

My chin was then cupped by a hand that forced me to look at Duo. He looked deep into my eyes for a few moments before bring his forehead to rest against mine. I blinked in surprise and waited for him to speak.

"Listen to me Heero. You aren't dirty and you aren't a whore, okay?" I nodded even if I felt like it was the truth anyway. "I want you to promise me that you'll never call or think of yourself that way again." My eyes widened.

"What?"

"Promise me." Duo urged me, even as I felt my mouth open and my tongue obey him.

"I promise. I won't think or call myself that again."

"Good. No one should have ever treated you that way, Heero. I won't let anyone ever treat you like that again, I promise you. I won't ever treat you like that." He pulled back and stroked my cheek with the backs of his fingers, sadness evident in his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, I wish I could go back and keep you safe."

"You do?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, I do. A part of me wishes J was still alive so I could beat the shit out of him for doing those things to you."

I licked my lips nervously. "It's better that he's dead though. I don't want to tell the reporters what happened. They would just stare at me and pity me. I hate it when people stare at me. It makes me nervous."

"Do I make you nervous?" Duo asked softly.

"No. You make me feel... " I stopped, I couldn't tell him that.

"I make you feel what?" He asked, not letting me get away with stopping mid-sentence.

I darted my eyes to look at his face then whispered. "Loved. Is that wrong?"

"No. It isn't." He shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with it and I'm glad I make you feel that way. I do love you."

"But... you can't." I said in a rush, that made Duo give me a funny look.

"And why not?" He pressed, wrapping his arms tightly around me, making me flush.

"You love Hilde, you can't love me, I mean. Quatre said he and Trowa love you so... How many people can you love?"

"As many as I want to." Duo smirked at me. "There are different kinds of love Heero. Sure I love Hilde, Quatre and Trowa, but I love them as a friend. Friend love is different than loving a person you desire with all your heart and for me, that person is you."

I sat there stunned beyond words. I didn't know what to say. Duo chuckled at me a little then pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek.

"I love you more than anything and even with these hidden truths of yours, I still know I want you around. I want you to stay here, with me and Quatre and Trowa. Will you?"

"Yes. I want to stay with you and Quatre. I feel safe and comfortable here." I told him before bending a bit to place a tiny kiss on Duo's cheek.

"Feels like love to me." Duo remarked.

We sat there for a while and cleared the air. I felt better, relieved that Duo didn't want me to leave and couldn't stop the flutter of happiness in my chest knowing that Duo loved me, even if I hadn't told him I loved him back in the same way. It just wasn't the time yet.

Duo let me use his computer and I hacked the system and found Dr. G's number and with Duo's insistence, I told him what happened to Dr. J. He understood and told me he would get rid of the reporters' questions and make up a cover story so I would be left alone. I was told J was fond of me, but all I could think of was how he treated me and it made me shudder.

"At least J left everything to you. You should be happy. You're rich Heero. Do whatever you want, unless you want to come serve me instead." Dr. G told me over the phone and I politely declined his offer, wanting nothing to do with scientists ever again. I had more than enough that I could take with mad scientists.

Duo didn't plow right in and tell me he wanted to fuck me like the dream-Duo did. We just acted like we always did and were still working friends at Howard's Delivery Supplies and Services. Quatre and Trowa noticed that something was different when they got up in the morning, but didn't say anything. It was like nothing changed. Except something had and it made me happy to know Duo cared.

I knew how Duo felt about me and I didn't have to worry how to act like I wasn't interested in him when he was around. The truth was out of the bag and I could finally hug Duo like I had wanted to for the longest time without worrying about what he would think of me.

I arranged for checks to come to the apartment. I got paid the interest from my stocks that gave me more than a little pocket money to spend and arranged for my check from delivering supplies to people went directly to my savings accounts. I still donated to charities and some science divisions researching diseases, but mostly I donated to people in foreign countries that needed help.

Since I intended to stay with Duo we moved more of my stuff into his room. Mostly, I just needed clothes and took my soaps and other things I wanted with me. I made sure to bring a laptop from J's collection that had my record information so I could access the rest of my accounts J had left me. I finally had money to use myself instead of allowing Duo to pay for everything. I even contributed to the rent, even though Quatre was reluctant to take it. I was almost as rich as he was so I didn't want to keep everything when it was pointless.

Duo and I often went out to lunch after our deliveries, we switched off on who treated and who was being treated. Everything had settled into a nice pattern, even when we went to sleep.

Since I was going to stay with Quatre and Duo on a more premanent basis, Quatre suggested I bring my bed into Duo's room, which Duo outright refused. He explained to Quatre more than a little forcefully that there wouldn't be enough room and we were perfectly happy sleeping in the same bed. Quatre just got this, 'they're so cute' look on his face and Duo hit him with a pillow, only to reinforce it by suggesting he get a bed for Trowa. Kat declined the offer and dropped the subject needless to say.

I still always slept best when Duo had his arms wrapped around me, and I even went as far as crawling onto his chest if I wasn't comfortable. Duo would just stroke my hair until I drifted off and even then, I would wake up in his arms. I got over part of my shyness and cuddled in Duo's lap when we watched a movie or just wanted to lay on the couch. Duo would always make room for me and I would gladly accept the invitation.

Quatre raised his eyebrows at us a few times before not bothering to care anymore. He said as long as we were both happy, he'd be happy. Trowa didn't care one way or the other, he just liked being wrapped around his blond angel. Things were really good.

It was almost the winter solstice when I finally thought about getting gifts for the guys and Duo. I asked for Duo to take me shopping and he willingly agreed, saying he had to pick up christmas gifts. That puzzled me and I asked him what that was. He laughed until he realized I wasn't joking.

"You really don't know what christmas is?" He glanced over at me then turned his gaze back to the road.

"Not really. J once told me it was a christain holiday to celebrate their savior, but he didn't expand upon it. I always believed mother nature controlled the everything and what we did in our life determined what we will be in our next life."

"Pagan beliefs. I like how you explained that. I used to be Catholic a long time ago, but not anymore. Kat's Muslim and doesn't believe in that stuff either, but he likes getting gifts for us just the same. That's why we don't have a christmas tree. Trowa is an atheist, but he loves Quatre and staying here so he gets us gifts too. Christmas is pretty much the holiday to exchange gifts and be with family and friends anymore with us, and now you get to be a part of it."

"I'm glad for that Duo." I smiled to myself and saw the mall coming up into view. "So what do you want for your present?"

"Anything you think I'll like." He told me and shot me a grin before pulling into a parking space.

"But what do you like besides food and movies?" I asked not getting any kind of real answer.

"Hmm... you." He kissed my cheek then got out of the car, leaving me stunned for a moment before getting out to join him.

"I meant what would you like me to get you? What do you need?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Let's just look around for awhile and if I find something, I'll let you know."

"Okay."

We looked around a few stores, seeing a bunch of sales, but none looked very appealing. Duo wanted to visit a department store so we went there next. It was there that I found a sweater that would look wonderful on Duo. It was a deep violet color and was so soft that I couldn't help but caress it with my fingers. Cashmere, the sign said and I bought it as well as a scarf for Duo, so he could keep warm when he went out for deliveries. I bought a light blue one for Quatre and a emerald green sweater for Trowa, since he always wore some kind of green outfit. They would look nice in their sweaters, I could only hope they would like them.

I had them gift wrapped and then went to go find Duo. I found him in the electronics and saw he had a few wrapped packages as well. He didn't notice me yet so I snuck up behind him and hugged him from behind. He went tense at first, then I saw him turn his head and breathe a sign of relief.

"Heero, way to startle me." He smirked a little shakily.

"You do it to me all the time." I pouted and he chuckled at me, before kissing my forehead.

"That I do. You found something I see." I followed his glance to my packages and I just shrugged. Duo explained to me that I couldn't tell anyone what I got for them. It would ruin the surprise.

"You found some things too." I pointed out and Duo just smirked.

"Are you saying we're all done then?"

"If you want to be. I don't know what Quatre and Trowa want." I said to throw him off and just tell me what everyone wanted. It didn't work.

"They'll be happy with whatever you get them. I'm sure of it. Quatre like classical music and Trowa likes trance and techno so I got them some cd's. You could always join forces with me to where we're going next."

"And where would that be?" I asked confused.

"To Mirage. The best clubbing and leather gear store there is. Kat and Tro love clubbing, so I think we should get them something together." Duo slid an arm around my waist and bumped hips with me as we walked out of the mall.

"The store isn't in the mall?"

"Nope. Normal people can't see what's in this store. It isn't appropiate for the kids, if you get my drift." Duo winked and placed his bags in the backseat before crawling into the car. I did the same and buckled my seatbelt before Duo took off again. It was a short drive and we were soon parked out front of a building that had the windows covered up.

"Uh Duo?" I asked, a little worried by the fact there was only one other car besides ours.

"Don't worry Heero, this is just mostly a night time store. They're open though come on."

"But the sign says you have to be eighteen to enter and I'm not..."

"I'll let them card me so don't worry. You're close enough any way." Duo got out and I followed him into the dim building.

It was lit better inside, but the displays... could people really want something so revealing and tight?

Duo led the way into the back of the store and I followed him, not wanting to lose sight of him. The store made me more than a little nervous. Duo didn't seem to be though and was shuffling through some studded collars.

"What about these for Kat and Tro?" Duo held up two identical bracelets with tiny silver x's and o's on it.

"Those are nice bracelets." Duo cracked up laughing. "What's so funny?"

"They aren't bracelets Heero. They're cock rings." I felt my stomach churn a bit and felt my face get hot.

"Oh." I said then felt a little curious and asked, "How do they work?"

"You're too cute. I'll buy one for us too. Don't worry, we don't have to use it right away. Only when it feels right we will, k?" Duo picked up another one that had smiley faces lining it and then went to pick out something called a dildo that looked like a bright green studded penis and a dog collar with a chain attached to it. We went up to the register and the guy that had more than enough piercings in his face, rang us up after he carded Duo.

"Oh put this on there too." He said after grabbing a box that read: Flavored Condoms and Lube, Satisfy Your Partner and Have a Good Taste in Your Mouth Too.

I wondered to myself if Quatre's and Trowa's gifts would be like this, only to grow more worried at the thought of what kind of gift Duo bought for me. His suggestion about the cock ring made me wonder what he was planning.

Good thing I wouldn't have to wait for long.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC...

Big THANK YOU'S and HUGGLES to _Pryzm_, _EquineAngel, YaoiKitty, DKJoy, Tati1, ZaKai, Nikkler, Serena429, Shiningami-Koi, and Shinigami_-_Heero_! I Love hearing from you and I hope you liked this chapter.

Review again Please!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Hey guys, come in and sit down. Dinner's almost ready." Quatre called in from the kitchen. He had been in there with Trowa all morning long, cooking up turkey, potatoes and other things I had no idea what they were. I only saw some of the ingredients he was using, but what he was making with them was beyond me. Duo helped out a little bit, but when I tried to go in, Trowa chased me out of the kitchen with a towel.

I spent some of the morning watching cartoons since that was the only thing on. Duo came out a bit later and told me Quatre told him to keep me company. He sat next to me, watching TV with me and without taking his eyes off the TV he found my hand and entwined our fingers. I was still a bit shocked at times when he did things like that. Kissing my forehead before we got out of bed, playing footsie with me under the table, or just holding my hand whenever he wanted to, I wouldn't deny him anything.

Duo didn't push me to do anything, he would touch me, but it was friendly and loving, not demanding or taking like J would do. We hadn't even kissed on each other's mouth yet. I would only go as far as kissing him on the cheek and sometimes his shoulder or chest at night time. I loved cuddling into to Duo for warmth and he always had me wrapped within his arms to keep the chills away. The cold weather only added to it any way. Even though the apartment was toasty, I still was cold at times. That's when I would seek out Duo the most. It was nice to be able to curl up together under a blanket and watch TV. More times than not I would fall asleep and Duo would carry me to bed. It was always a surprise to remember falling asleep on Duo's chest in the living room and wake up in our room the next morning.

Our room. Since when did I consider Duo's bedroom, our room? I felt a shiver go up my spine and felt as Duo pulled me into his lap and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch to wrap around me.

"You're still cold?"

"A little bit." I admitted and buried my face in Duo's neck, no longer caring about the show.

"You adapt too fast to the temperature in here or your body loses heat more than it's supposed to, I think. Don't worry. Kat and Tro's cooking will warm you up in no time."

"I wish they would let me help them." I told him. I really did want to help. I felt useless doing nothing, but then again. I liked where I was right now too.

"It's a tradition. You're the newest member of the group so you can't help out this year. Just enjoy the fruits of their labor. You'll think your taste buds have been asleep all your life when they're finished. It was great last year. Kat made homemade cranberry sauce, jam, and green bean casserole. Trowa made a small goose with his own kind of gravy. The cream of mushroom soup and white wine sauce to go over it was amazing. I told Quatre we should hire Trowa to cook for us every night, but he didn't want to abuse his boyfriend's talents." Duo shrugged and nuzzled my hair with his nose.

I felt calmed by his gentle attention and nuzzled his shoulder in response. That earned me a kiss to the forehead. My skin tingled whenever he did it, and I never wanted it to stop. We waited in silence for a few more minutes then Quatre called us in.

Duo threw off the blanket and picked me up as he stood and then tugged me into the kitchen when I was set back on my feet. The table was covered in food and plates. There was so much, I didn't know where to even begin to understand what all the dishes were. Duo sat down and I sat next to him while Quatre sat down across from me. He smiled and then folded his hands and rested his chin on them. We fell silent and waited for him to speak.

"It's great to have our little get together every year, even though none of us really celebrate Christmas. But as Heero was telling me a few days ago when we sat outside and gazed at the moon three nights ago to observe the Pagan holiday, the winter solstice, just being with friends is a good enough reason to celebrate. So with all things combined whether this is the Christmas season, a Pagan holiday, or Heero joining us for the year and being the new addition to the family, we should be happy and have a nice party. And since Heero's the newest one of all of us, he gets to cut the turkey!"

I looked around at all of them and they just grinned at me. So I took up the knife Quatre offered me and cut into the dead roasted bird. Steam billowed up from it and blew gently in my face, but I cut a few pieces and gave them to my friends as they extended their plates to me. It felt a bit domestic even. I sat down after I sliced enough pieces for everyone and Quatre clanked on his glass with a spoon to get our attention again.

"Now that everyone has a piece of Heero's nicely carved turkey and everyone's here to share this food with, I say let's dig in!"

We began passing things back and forth between each other and since I didn't know what most of the things were, I tried a bit of each.

Duo told me what each dish was and Trowa gave me a detailed account of what was in it. I caught Quatre smirking at me over his glass of warm apple cider that they made, when Trowa began to tell me how certain ingredients were brought over from other countries.

"I think he just wanted to know what it was love, not a history lesson on it." Quatre stopped him from continuing with a touch to his arm. Trowa looked a bit sheepish and narrowed his food lesson down for me. Trowa's knowledge was interesting to listen to, but I couldn't focus on it very much. Duo glanced at me a lot throughout the meal and I just smiled a bit when I caught him looking at me.

I enjoyed eating everything that was made and saw what Duo meant. The food was better than anything I had ever tasted before and it felt right to have it on special occasions.

Quatre made us toast to another year of good friendship and to love when we were almost finished. We clinked our glasses together and then drank the rest of the cider. I helped Duo clear the table after everyone claimed they were stuffed to the brim. Quatre and Trowa wrapped the rest of the food and determined there was enough left over to last us the rest of the week. None of us minded since the food was fantastic and it meant no one had to cook anything for a while.

When the last of the food was put in containers and were put away, I washed the dishes and Duo dried them and put them back in their rightful places. There were more than usual, but it didn't matter. My food settled while I was scrubbing away at all the sticky and greasy pans. I drained the sink as the last dish was put away and Duo caught my hand to lead me into the living room. I was surprised when Quatre stopped us in the doorway.

"Uh uh uh. You're not allowed to pass." Quatre stood in our way and Trowa was right behind him, a small grin on both of their faces.

"And why not Kat?" Duo asked trying to plow through. Quatre pointed up. I looked and noticed a tiny sprig of green hanging from the doorway. Why was a plant hanging from the ceiling?

"Quatre, why won't you let us pass and why is there foliage on the ceiling?" I asked.

"You're so cute. That's mistletoe and couples who stands beneath it must kiss. Trowa and I already did while you two were occupied so now it's your turn." Quatre told us pleasantly.

"It's an old fashioned tradition. One of the more romantic ones Quatre loves to use for his own purposes." Duo told me after rolling his eyes. I still couldn't see the point.

"Guilty. So aren't you going to kiss him?" Quatre chirped.

"I'm getting there, stop being a pest."

"Well?"

Duo pulled me closer to him and then cupped my face in his hands and slowly brought his mouth to mine. His eyes slid closed, so I did the same and then felt soft, warm lips on my own. It was so gentle and nice, and nothing like I had ever experienced before. I felt Duo release me a second later and then it was over. My lips still felt like Duo's were still there. Secretly, I hoped he'd do it again.

"Happy?" I heard Duo ask. Oh, I was happy alright. Unbelievably so that I noticed something else happening. I was hard.

"You two are so cute." I heard Quatre say and then he and Trowa moved out of the way. I let go of Duo's hand and headed to our room.

"Heero?" Duo called out and I heard him follow me. I shut the bedroom door behind me, but Duo came in through anyway and shut the door behind him. "What's the matter? If you didn't want the kiss you didn't have to, I'm sorry if I upset you Heero."

I turned away from him so he could only see my back. He must think I hated the kiss. "No, I loved the kiss." I said trying to ease his mind off that aspect.

"Then? Why are you turned away from me?" Duo sounded worried, not that I could blame him. I just ran out of the room.

"Heero? I'm sorry. I didn't think you would mind kissing Duo." I heard Quatre call from the other side of the door. At least he didn't come in.

"I didn't mind. Could you just leave us alone for a minute, please?" I called back, willing my hard on to go away.

"Sure. No problem." I heard Quatre walk away then felt as Duo turned me around. Instinctively, I covered my groin.

"Heero, what... oh." Duo glanced down at my hands and then back up to my face. "Is that why?" I nodded feeling my face go bright red. "Heero it's okay. Don't be ashamed. All guys get erections, you don't have to hide it."

"I just didn't want... " I stopped not wanting to continue and just sat down on the bed.

"It's okay. Do you want me to let you... uh... take care of it?" I shook my head. Not exactly knowing what he was implying. How could I take care of it?

"It's going away." I told him, but didn't remove my hands until I was sure of it. Duo sat down next to me and caressed my hair gently. I felt like purring, but didn't try it. "It's gone now." I said after a few minutes.

"Want to go back out to the guys and open presents?" He said and kissed my cheek.

"Yeah."

"Okay. Come on, before Quatre worries himself to an early grave." Duo took my hand and kissed it then lead the way out.

Quatre looked like a worried mess in Trowa's lap where he was perched. He was about to say something and Duo just put up a hand, cutting him off. "We just needed to calm down for a minute, there is nothing wrong and it wasn't your fault Kat, so chill. It's present time and the coffee table is dying to get all those gifts off of it, so start passing them out."

Quatre got out of Trowa's lap and kneeled beside the table as Duo lead me over to the couch to sit next to Trowa. Quatre passed out all the gifts until each of us had a pile on our laps. We waited until Quatre perched on the arm of the couch before paying attention to the next part.

"Okay now that we all have our presents, I think we must explain the rules to Heero." Quatre told us and they all nodded. I watched him for some kind of cue that I was supposed to do something, but they were just smiling at me and Quatre started speaking again.

"Since you are the newest addition to our family, you get to open all your presents first. So go ahead and start unwrapping!" I looked down at the presents in my lap, feeling everyone's eyes on me. The presents were all different sizes so I started with the smallest one on top. It was from Duo.

I carefully unwrapped it set the paper aside and saw a small black box. I opened it and looked inside to see a thin silver chain inside with a pentacle charm on it.

"You said you were Pagan so I thought this would be nice to wear. The chain is long enough so it can be hidden under your clothes. Do you like it?" Duo asked. I nodded and gave him a hug.

"Thank you, so much. It's beautiful." Duo took the box and took out the necklace and put it on me. I played with the charm a bit and smiled at Duo before Quatre urged me to open my other gifts. A skinny narrow box from Trowa was next and I was happy to see some computer programs and games, and a gift card to the mall.

"You can use that in whatever store you want to. It's for the entire mall."

"Thank you, Trowa. I don't have these programs yet, but I'll be glad to use them." The next present was from Quatre and was really big. I was surprised to see it was a bit heavy too. He had gotten me a thick thermal blanket and three sets of flannel pajamas.

"You're always so cold, maybe this will help." The material felt soft and thick, and I was more than happy to try both gifts out.

"Okay now that Heero is done for now, let's see what everyone else got." Duo said and began to rip the wrapping paper off the packages. I saw Quatre and Trowa roll their eyes and then they began to unwrap their gifts too. Duo finished first so he got to show his off. He stripped out of the shirt he was wearing and pulled the sweater I bought him over his head and moved in it a bit to see how it fit.

It looked good on him like I thought it would. He then wrapped the scarf around his face and batted his eyelashes at me and pretended to act very shy. He made all of us laugh and thanked me with a kiss on the lips again after he removed the scarf. I melted into it, and felt my nether regions spark to life, but not as bad as earlier when I wasn't expecting it.

Duo got a pair of pants with zippers and tethers all over it and a see through black mesh shirt from Trowa who got a hug as a thank you. "I love these Tro. How'd you guess I wanted them?"

"It was pretty simple since you were raving at how unfair it was that the store didn't have them in stock for the longest time. I figured you must want them."

"Thanks buddy."

Quatre got him three pair of pajama pants that had different themes on it. One was flannel, the second was black and had big red lips with the words 'kiss me!' on it, and the third pair were dark blue with little polar bears on it everywhere. Quatre got a hug too and told Duo he didn't buy the tops to go with them since Duo wouldn't wear them any way. Duo agreed saying if he could get away with it, he'd sleep in the nude, but wouldn't since I was there. Not to mention if there was something wrong and we had to get out of the building, he didn't want to run out in the cold naked.

Quatre got the baby blue sweater I got him, some classical Cd's from Duo, as well as an apron with 'Kiss the Chef' in big red letters written on the front. Trowa got him four tickets to the Phantom of the Opera that would be playing later in the week and Quatre instantly asked all of us to come. Trowa got a hug and a long passionate kiss from Quatre for it and when he could breathe again, he told us that it was a dinner opera. I didn't understand at first, but Trowa explained.

The show was on stage of a theater that was also a restaurant combined so we would eat first and then the show would be presented on stage a little later. It sounded interesting and I couldn't wait to go.

Trowa showed off his gifts last, but still thanked everyone and neatly tucked them in the boxes they came in to keep them safe. He had trance and techno Cd's and a few books from Duo, the green cashmere sweater from me, and a gift certificate to a spa from Quatre. Trowa kissed Quatre and nodded his thanks to Duo and me then set his gifts on the coffee table. Duo nudged me and then got up with his gifts and I followed him as he headed to our room.

He placed the gifts on the bed then kneeled down and took out a large box from under the bed. I set my gifts down too then remembered what was in the box. Duo just grinned at me then headed back out to the living room with me on his tail.

"There's still a present that needs to be unwrapped guys!" Duo called and Trowa and Quatre looked up as Duo stood in front of them and presented the box to both of them. "This is from Heero and me. I hope you like it." He smirked then I saw as Quatre arched an eyebrow at him before getting up and going to his room and coming out with a gift too.

"What a coincidence! This is from Trowa and me." He handed the gift to me and then sat next to Trowa. I sat down on the floor and waited for Duo to join me. He did a second later and we both started to open the present as Quatre and Trowa opened theirs.

Inside the box was an assortment of things I had seen at Mirage. There was a package of the same lube and condoms Duo had bought for Trowa and Quatre and some cock rings except ours had hearts and skulls on them. Smiley face boxers were in there as well and a pair of padded hand cuffs. 'Love Cuffs' the package said, since the cuffs were fur lined in purple fuzz. There was a whip in there and some silk scarves as well. The display made me more nervous than anything, but I didn't let it show on my face.

Quatre and Trowa were trying on the collars and Quatre picked up and waved the condoms at us. "Looks like we had the same idea, huh? I can't wait to try these out." Quatre looked over at the clock. It was 10:30. "Oh, well looks like I won't have to wait long, and neither will you two. Come on, baby. Let's try this stuff out! Night guys and have a nice evening." They stood up, taking their last present with them and shut the bedroom door.

I just stared at the box until I felt Duo hug me from behind. "You okay Heero?" I didn't really know, so I just shrugged. Duo hugged me some more and kissed my cheek. "You're worried we have to use this stuff right away aren't you?" I shrugged again, not knowing what to say. If Duo wanted to use it on me then... I blushed and tried to suppress the tingling feeling in my stomach. Duo wasn't like J! He wouldn't do THAT to me!

"Don't worry, this stuff lasts for a while, and we never have to use it if you don't want to." That shook me. I snapped my head around to look at Duo, but he just pressed a finger to my lips. He shook his head then took my hand and picked up the box with the other and tugged me to our room.

He shut the door behind us and placed the box on the bed, then took off our other presents and placed them on a chair by the closet. Duo came back over and looked over all the things that were in the last present the guys got us. I knew Duo wouldn't hurt me, but I didn't know if he wanted to use those things tonight.

Before I had the chance to ask, Duo closed the box and pushed it under the bed.

"We aren't going to use them today and not for a while. Neither of us are ready yet, and I don't want you to do something you won't like." Duo came and took me into his arms and hugged my tenderly. He caressed my hair and back then kissed my cheek.

"Relax Heero. You're shaking." I was? I didn't even notice. "Why don't you go take your shower, while I put our new presents away?" I nodded and got a towel then picked up the flannel pajamas Quatre got me. I wanted to wear them right away. I stood there for a minute before making up my mind and went to kiss Duo. He was surprised but welcomed it. He smiled against my lips then bumped his nose against mine. "Go shower. I'll be in here when you get back."

I ran the water hot like I always did and let it wash over me as I leaned my head against the tiles. I had a lot to think about. Duo cared about me and wanted to do other things with me when I was ready for it. I would have to make a decision pretty soon and decide if I ever wanted to have sex with Duo.

Where do I even begin?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

TBC...

Please Review!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

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Duo had put the new blanket Quatre bought me on the bed when I emerged from the shower. I was half expecting Duo to be sitting on the bed and just waiting for me. He wasn't though. Instead he was sitting up in bed underneath the covers and reading a book. He noticed when I came in and put a bookmarker on the page he was on and put it next to the lamp on the bed side table, smiling at me.

I couldn't help but smile back. My hair was still wet and I tried to dry it the best I could with the towel.

"Here, let me do that." I felt Duo take the towel and it slipped through my fingers. He started to pat my head dry and pulled me backwards to sit on the bed. His fingers lightly combined through my hair and and soon my hair was dry and sticking out at odd angles. "You used my conditioner?" He asked.

"I didn't think you would mind."

"I don't. Your hair is just so soft and it smells like lavender. Want me to brush it for you?"

"Sure." I loved when Duo brushed my hair, although it usually made me fall asleep while he was doing it. I felt the bristles run through my hair and caress my scalp. My hair wasn't as thick nor as long as Duo's, but it needed to be brushed to get the knots out. Duo brushed my hair in slow strokes rhythmically and I soon felt my eyes begin to get heavily. Duo must have noticed and slowly began to draw it out more. I leaned against him completely relaxed as sleep claimed me.

Duo must have tucked me in bed because when I woke up, I was wrapped around him like a vine. I noticed something different though. Different than how I usually slept. My head still rested against his chest and my arms were wrapped around his waist, but my legs it seemed wanted to do something that my mind didn't.

My right leg was wrapped in between Duo's and I felt a warm hardness against it. I wasn't as naive as I once was, but it still shocked me to find myself in this position and that Duo had a hard on. I slowly started to get out of the position I was in and crawled out of bed carefully. Duo, thankfully, was still asleep and just flipped over onto his stomach after I got out of bed.

I breathed a sigh of relief and went to make some breakfast. It was almost ten o'clock. Duo must have made sure we slept in or something. My mind was still whirling on where my leg had been and what was pressed against it. Obviously, I could move in the night, but still... I hadn't moved before. Maybe I was unconsciously trying to get closer to Duo. Although, that thought alone scared me.

We had gotten very close as far as friends went, but to get closer would mean to get intimate with Duo. The thought didn't disgust me, far from it in fact, but to have Duo or anyone see me, really see me... It scared me to death.

I knew Duo would never make me feel worthless or bad about myself. He just wasn't the type to make people worry about what he thought. Duo was friendly with everyone he talked to and then some. I couldn't be like that. Sure I talked to Duo, Quatre, Trowa and Howard, but it took me a while to be comfortable with them. Duo, I took to the most and I still didn't know why.

Okay. I partially knew why. Duo was kind and loving. He made me feel safe and wanted even when I was questioning myself. Duo never did anything to hurt me and was my first friend ever. Maybe that was why I took to him so well. He treated me the exact opposite of how J treated me.

I let my thoughts about this get shoved to the back of my mind and focused on breakfast. Deciding on eggs for something different, I pulled out six of them and decided to make two omelets, one for Duo and one for myself. The greatest thing out the celebration was all the extra ingredients. I pulled out several packages cheese and some of the sliced ham and turkey. The mushrooms were next and I lined them all up on the counter and went to work. It didn't take me long to make the omelets and soon I was back in the bedroom carrying a tray with the omelets, forks, knives, napkins and two glasses of apple juice.

I set the tray on the floor and crawled on the bed to wake up Duo. Gently shaking his shoulder until sleepy eyes fluttered open and looked at me a bit confused.

"Heero? What's wrong?" He asked and frowned a bit, confused to see me hovering over him.

"I made us some omelets."

"You did?" He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking at me again. I picked up one of the plates, a fork and knife and handed them to him. He looked a bit shocked at first but accepted it with a soft smile. I went and picked up my own and sat down next to him, digging in.

"Thank you Heero and Happy Christmas even if we don't celebrate the holiday." He smiled and then cut off a piece of the omelet, seeing how it tasted.

"You're welcome and Happy Christmas too." I turned my attention back to the omelet and we at in comfortable silence. I took Duo's plate away after he was done and gave him the apple juice. He gulped it down and waited for me to finish mine. He took my glass and got out of bed and sat them on the tray.

"Was this part of another present, or did you just want to make breakfast, err... brunch, I guess?" Duo noticed the time and shrugged. "It was delicious. My compliments to the beautiful chef."

"I'm not beautiful." I said startled, but I could feel my cheeks get hot.

"Yes you are. You're very beautiful." Duo leaned down and kissed me. I was too surprised to shut my eyes. Duo drew back and took in my response then frowned. He looked hurt that I didn't like it. "Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have done that. Why don't you get dressed? I'll go wash the dishes." I opened my mouth to say 'wait' but he was already out the door.

I felt bad that he thought I hated it. I hadn't. It felt... nice and Duo needed to know that.

Levering myself up, I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Duo was scrubbing at the pan I made the omelet in and not paying attention to much else. His hands were busy so, I slowly came up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. His back went rigid in my arms and I just gently caressed his bare stomach lightly, to let him know it was me.

"I'm sorry. I liked the kiss, Duo. You just took me by surprise, that's all." His back relaxed and without giving much thought to it, I kissed his shoulder tenderly. His head turned a bit and I saw him watch me for a moment before sighing.

"I'm sorry too. I'll give you a warning next time, how about that?" He teased, but there was a note to seriousness in it too.

"Okay. I just-I just have to get used to them so they won't startle me every time."

"You want me to keep kissing you?" Duo asked in awe. I think he half expected me to tell him to stop it all together.

"Yes. I want you to keep kissing me. It's nice." I whispered to him and locked eyes with him. He was looking at me with such a soft gaze that I thought I could get lost in those eyes.

"How about one now?" He offered, washing the suds from his hands and wiping them dry.

"I'd like that." Duo turned in my arms and cupped my cheeks in his hands before tilting his head a bit then claiming my lips softly. His lips were warm and gently caressed mine before pulling away. Duo's thumb lightly traced my lower lip and when brushed my bangs back from my eyes. He placed another kiss to my forehead before wrapping me in his arms. I leaned in against him and sighed happily. This was where I loved to be the most.

xxxx

The entire week went by rather quickly. Quatre was still off from work, but I don't think he minded in the least. Trowa stayed at the apartment the entire time and even cooked for us even though he was technically the guest. I didn't mind though. Trowa was a good cook and even though he was quiet most of the time, we had some nice conversations.

Duo and I didn't have to go back to work at Howard's until January third. Howard told me that I was going to have to join the fun at New Years though and expected to see me at the party. I didn't understand what he meant until Duo took me out tonight and drove over to Howard's house for a New Years Eve party. It was quite enjoyable for the most part. Howard threw a wonderful party and even though I wasn't used to drinking alcohol, I had a few glasses of wine.

Hilde was there too and I talked with her a bit before sitting on the couch. Most of the people that attended were from the delivery yard. Some people I didn't recognize at first because I'd never seen them without their uniforms on. However, there were some new faces I didn't know and no one introduced me to them. I nursed my drink and scanned the crowd and found Duo.

Duo had been drinking as well and as I watched him dance to the music that played, he was quite good at dancing too. I refrained from it though. Duo looked over at me and waved at me to come out into the open area of the room. He tried a few times to get me to dance with him giving me a pout to lure me in but I refused. I felt a bit lightheaded after the wine and a bit sleepy as well. Duo noticed after a while that I wasn't feeling well. He stopped dancing and took me upstairs into the guest room that was set up. My head was throbbing after I walked up the stairs and Duo told me to lie down.

He told me to get some sleep and I would feel better. He was going to go back downstairs for a while but would be up after a little while to check on me. I felt a pang of loss when he left but my head ached and I couldn't help but lie down to ease it.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was that there was someone else in the room and that someone wasn't Duo. The room was quite dim but I could tell by the way the person moved it wasn't Duo. Who ever it was, their steps were heavy and breath a bit quicker. I felt as the form leaned over me and their breath puffed on my face and wasn't pleasant to smell. A breath reeking of alcohol.

"Aren't cha a pretty thing? All alone up here are ya? Well don't cha worry none, cuz all's a take care a ya." The voice was definitely male and very rough that whispered in my ear. I froze at the words. _Why did he say things like that?_

"A purty thing like ya shouldn't go ta waste. Not at all." I felt the man's fingers traced over my jaw and then move down my body. The fingers, hard and callused traced over my stomach and then to my horror cupped my genitals roughly and squeezed hard. I bit my tongue trying not to whimper at the touch and silently begged for Duo to come back.

I didn't want this guy's hands on me, but if he knew I was awake he might... I trembled at that thought and the guy felt it.

"Like that don't cha? I bet you'll like somethin' else too." Hands started to unbutton my pants and worked the zipper down and roughly tried to pull my pants down before I could even move to stop him.

It was going to happen again. He was going to use me like J had. I was going to be tainted and Duo would finally see what I was all along. He would make me leave. Duo would...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I felt the hands stop and get pulled away hastily. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" I heard a thump and the door slammed shut and locked. The light came on and I flinched at the intensity and blinked until I could see clearly again. Duo looked horrified and quickly looked away. He finally was seeing what I am.

"Oh my gods. Heero, are you okay? Did he do anything to you?" I looked at him and glanced down at my pants that had been tugged to my knees and slowly shook my head. "Good. Let's get these back on you where they belong." Duo pulled my pants up and zipped and buttoned them for me then leaned down to look me in the eye. "You're really okay? He didn't touch..." I closed my eyes. "Nevermind. I punched him in the jaw so don't worry, he won't be getting up any time soon."

"Who was it?" My voice was a bit shaky but I had to know.

"I don't recognize him. He isn't from Howard's I can tell you that much. Don't worry, he can't come near you now. He's out cold after the punch I gave him." Duo smirked a bit then stroked my hair back from my eyes. Duo's light touch was soothing and felt a bit better but was still afraid that Duo would want to go back down to the party.

"I want to go home."

"I'll call Kat and tell him to come pick us up." He smiled at me and got out his phone and I watched him, too stunned to say anything else.

"Hey Kat, it's me. Listen can you and Tro come and pick us up? Yeah we're still at Howard's. Are you up to it? Yeah. Heero doesn't feel well. Okay, see you in a few." Duo hung up and put the cell away. "They're coming. Trowa will drive us and Quatre will drive his car that we borrowed. They'll be here in a few minutes. Do you want to go out and wait for them on the porch?"

He must have caught my worried look at the door. "He won't touch you again. I promise." I nodded and reached for Duo's hand. He tugged me gently off the bed and opened the door. I saw the guys stocking feet on the floor and Duo quickly guided me close to the wall and down the steps. I briefly glanced down at the man. He was a brunette with dark skin and the left side of his face was swollen where Duo must have punched him.

Duo handed me my coat off the wall as we passed by it and Duo said his fairwells to Howard. Howard said he see us in a few days and then we went to wait on his porch. I breathed in the cold air and coughed a bit as the chilled air hit my lungs, but I wasn't claustrophobic anymore now that I was out of the house.

A truck pulled up a few minutes later and Duo lead me over to it. I saw Quatre get out and Duo told him where the car was and the blond took the keys and went to start it up. I sat in the back of the truck and Duo took the front where Quatre vacated and before I knew it we were back at the apartment.

Duo thanked the guys for coming to get us and then said goodnight since it was three in the morning. We went to our room and Duo just stripped off his clothes with me still in the room. I couldn't help but watch as his body was slowly revealed to me until the only thing he had left on was a tank top undershirt and his black boxers. I had the same on underneath and after a moments hesitation I began to get undressed as well.

My actions seemed to surprise Duo a bit, but he just shook his head and left the room so I could finish. I put on pajamas after Duo left and got into bed and waited for Duo to get back. I didn't have to wait very long and soon I was curled up against him like I always was.

I felt safe in his arms and unconsciously I tightened my grip on him. If Duo didn't come in the room when he did...

"You okay Heero? You're hanging on pretty tight." Immediately, I loosened my grip on him. "No Heero, it's okay. You can hang onto me as tight as you want." I sighed in relief and nuzzled Duo's chest. His hand came up to stroke my hair and shoulders. "You're safe now Heero. Just go to sleep." Duo kissed the top of my head and put out the light. I relaxed against him as his heart thumped beneath my ear and his hand loosened the tense muscles in my shoulders.

Nightmares came to haunt me while I slept, but each time I thought the worst was about to happen, Duo was there to save me. He fought against the faceless men that had come to take me. He guarded me from extending hands and demonic claws that wanted to rip me apart. He sheltered me whenever something sought me out to hurt me. But most of all, he wrapped me within his arms and hugged me, promising me that everything was going to be all right and nothing would hurt me.

I woke with the sun rising in the sky. I knew I could sleep longer but I didn't want to. Duo still had me wrapped in his arms and I gently tugged away enough so I could look at his face. He was so beautiful in the morning light and after watching him for almost half an hour, I gave into what I wanted. Then without giving it much thought, I leaned down and kissed those pink lips gently, giving in to the kiss I wanted to give him.

"Thank you for saving me." I whispered against his lips and pulled away, only to catch those purple eyes staring up at me.

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TBC...

Please review!

8 reviews please until I post the next chapter!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the g-boys.

Warning: Un-beta-ed so there might be some errors, that will be fixed at a later time. I'm posting so soon since my computer is been acting up. Hopefully it will be nice to me when I write the next chapter.

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I gasped and pulled back, realizing that Duo was awake, but then was yanked forward by my hand and I jerked and fell on top of Duo.

"Ugh!" He exclaimed and wrapped his arms around me as I landed on his chest. "You okay?' I nodded. I couldn't look Duo in the face though. I felt him move a bit then felt his fingers in my hair. He was stroking my bangs gently and it felt so nice. "Heero?"

"Hm?" I mumble and tilt my head into his touch more.

"I asked if you were okay. Are you?" Duo asked and cupped my face in his hands. I look into his eyes and note the concerned look he's giving me.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you up. I just... wanted to kiss you." I whisper softly. I felt his soft fingers caress my cheeks and couldn't help closing my eyes at the light touch.

"Don't be sorry. I liked it. You can kiss me whenever you want to. You don't need my permission for it." He told me and I couldn't help the huge sigh that escaped me. Duo knew just what to say to make me feel better all the time. I just wished I could return the favor some day.

"So I can kiss you whenever I want to?"

"That's right. Whenever you want. I like your kisses. They're so soft and shy, like you are, it reminds me of how precious you are to me."

"Why is that?" I asked a bit confused. Duo always took care of me even when that man had... I froze.

"You're my friend Heero. Friends take care of each other." I listened to Duo. I heard his words, but that man had still tried to use me. Duo had stopped him, but why?

"Why did you stop that man?" I asked and looked up at Duo. He looked at me horrified.

"What do you mean why did I stop that man? He was going to hurt you. I had to stop him."

"But why? If he hurt me, you wouldn't want me anymore?" _Why was I asking this?_ I scolded myself.

Duo shook his head. "No Heero. I'd still want you even then, but no one has the right use another person like that. No one."

"But what if they already had?" Duo sighed and rolled over so I was underneath him and he pinned me down. I couldn't move. Duo stared at me hard and then leaned forward and kissed me. It was soft, gentle and left me breathless. He broke the kiss a moment later, but it felt like it lasted a long time.

"You already told me about that and it wasn't your fault. What he did to you was sick and evil and he used you, like that man in the guest room wanted to use you. Of course, I was going to stop it! You're my friend, I love you too much to let someone take advantage of you!" He said firmly. I looked deep into Duo's beautiful eyes and saw the strength he held within. It gave me hope that I was doing the right thing.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him more firmly on top of me and hugged him tight. "I think, I love you too. You're the only one who decided to save me. I'm happy that it was you who saved me. I need you." I hugged him close then felt as Duo moved and we were cuddled together on our sides, our bodies still in each others embrace.

"I'll always save you. You don't know who scared I was to find you in there with that man trying to take off your clothes. I was so afraid that that bastard had raped you. I couldn't let him get away with it. No one should do something like that to you. Never."

We stayed cuddled up like that for some time and I realized how much it meant to me that Duo was always a comforting presence beside me. Hesitantly, I leaned up and claimed his lips in a gentle kiss. "Thank you, Duo."

"For what?"

"For making me realize how much I need you. I don't think I could've stopped him." I admitted. "It scared me to think he was going to use me like J had, but..."

"Go on." Duo urged me and I continued.

"But to be honest, that wasn't what scared me the most. I was afraid that if that happened, you would be disgusted by me and would want me to leave. It would kill me inside if that happened. I wouldn't be able to handle being alone again. I don't want to leave you, ever." I whispered the last part. I felt like I was going to cry.

"Shh. I know how that feels, but try to believe me when I say this. No matter what happens, I'll always be here for you. I never want you to leave." Duo seemed to be thinking a bit more of what to say, but his words comforted me. It made me feel better to be reassured. I was doting on my thoughts when Duo's next words stopped them dead.

"Why don't you move in here permanently?" I blinked at him. He couldn't be serious. "You already live here and most of your things are already stored around the apartment. We just have to move a few of your other things here if you want to and you'll be set."

"You're kidding?"

"No. I'm dead serious. You could move in with us for good. I mean, when was the last time we went to your house?" I had to think about that one.

"A few months ago, when I first came here. Has it really been so long?" I said to myself, but Duo answered any way.

"It sure has. It's been nine months since you were back there. What do you think? Do you want to live here permanently?"

"YES!" I hugged Duo hard and tight, not wanting to let go.

"Okay, that settles it. You're staying for good. We'll tell Quatre as soon as he's up." Duo grinned and hugged me back.

"Consider me told." I snapped my head towards the bedroom door. I hadn't even heard it open. "We'll put Heero's name on the certificate and verify it with the landlord as soon as I get dressed and eat. The signing won't take long at all. Welcome home Heero." Quatre said to me then left and calmly shut the door.

"See? It's alright." He kissed me gently and hugged me some more before letting go. "Breakfast sounds like a good idea. Let's see what Kat's cooking up." He offered me his hand and I took it gladly. I felt like I was truly home and in a way I was.

Duo was my home. Anywhere he was with me, made me feel safe and happy, and this new offer that was going to become reality... Well, it was an even better feeling than I ever felt before.

xxxx

Quatre made us breakfast and set it on the table before going to get Trowa who was still asleep. When I saw him more disheveled than usual, I couldn't help but giggle a bit. He ate his food quietly then got up, caught Quatre by the wrist and lead him to the bedroom once again. Duo and I heard a soft thumping start up then turned back to our meal. Who knew how long they'd be at it.

xxxx

The signing went well and Duo drove us to my former home to get whatever else I wanted to move into the apartment. I decided to move the rest of my clothes out of my bedroom and went into J's old room and went through some of his things.

I knew he had a lot of things on file, so I shifted through his possessions until I found what I was looking for. In a drawer of his dresser was sealed disks that held all my training files, J had recorded on me. There were computer files and programs, disks with sealed documents on them about his accounts and some recording of his experiments. I took them all and put them in the duffel I brought with me and put them at the bottom of it and put my clothes on top of them. I didn't want Duo to find them.

"Everything okay Heero?" Duo popped his head in just as I zipped the bag closed and picked it up and slid the strap onto my shoulder.

"Yeah. Every thing's fine." I sighed and went to him. He picked up the other bags that I had filled and headed out to the car.

"You know, this is a really awesome house. I looked around while you were packing."

"I told you that you could." I told him as I locked the door and we headed to the car.

"I know, but I was just thinking about how neat it would be to live in it." A shiver passed through me, but I don't think Duo noticed.

"It wasn't neat, as you put it, when I lived in there. It was frightening. I only began to like it after J died." I told him and opened the trunk and placed the bags inside. I looked at Duo and waited him to hand me the bags, but saw him look at me sadly.

"Do you think you'd ever want to come back here and live in it?" He asked and placed the bags in the trunk then turned to look at the house. I sighed and looked back at it too.

"I really can't answer that. Maybe some day I will want to, but right now, I just want to be with you at the apartment. Maybe when we decide to move out of there, all of you can come live here with me." I suggested and Duo smiled and shut the trunk. He slowly leaned forward and kissed me. My eyes fluttered shut to the soft press of his lips.

"Some day. But I'll be happy to keep you occupied until that day comes and even afterward." He whispered against my lips then pulled away and got into the car. I got in too, a second later and blushed all the way home.

xxxx

Trowa and Quatre made dinner for us and then helped me put my things away. I kept the one duffel away from them and slid it underneath the bed. "It's my summer clothes." I told them and they just shrugged and went back to what they were doing.

Duo made sure I was warm and comfortable as we turned in for the night and he was soon asleep, with me resting against his side. When I was sure he was asleep, I slipped out of bed and took out the duffel I had pushed underneath the bed and took out one of the file disks J had and put the rest of them underneath the bed once more. I got my laptop and slowly exited the room and went out to the living room and booted up the laptop.

It soon came to life and I inserted the disk into it and after waiting only a few seconds, the file booted up and was read by the system. A message appeared and asked for a password. I had a feeling about this and typed in one of the passwords I knew J always used for this type of file.

Perfect Solider.

The password was accepted and the file was actually a movie file. I had a bad feeling about this, but proceeded to see it. The file was a documentary about me and how J went about 'breaking me in' and my training. I watched it all happen again. The tests, the obstacle course, the way J took out his anger on me, and that's what lasted the most.

I couldn't tear my eyes away, even as I felt the ghostly pain of old wounds and pain flow through me. My body started to tremble and I couldn't help but feel the cold chill that was spreading throughout my body.

"Heero?" I jumped and slammed my laptop shut and turned to see Duo behind me. There were tears streaming down his cheeks and he slowly reached for me and pulled me to him in a strong embrace. "I'm so sorry." He whispered and tightened his hold on me. I was confused. _Why was he sorry? For watching what I went through? It wasn't his fault!_

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, still sounding shaken.

"You told me what you went through, but I didn't know it was that bad. Why do you have something like that on your laptop? Why not get rid of it?" He asked and sounded as broken as I felt.

"I wanted to see what kind of records J had on me. I guess I know now. I thought you were asleep."

"I was, until I felt you get out of bed." He pulled back and wiped my tears away then wiped away his own. "Come back to bed Heero. Don't watch this," He pointed to the laptop, "anymore. That's enough for tonight. You need sleep, Heero. Come on."

He picked up the laptop and put it on the table and popped out the disk and handed it to me, then picked me up. "Put it away or destroy it if you want to, but that part of your life is over. What happened in the past stays in the past and there's nothing you can do about it to change it. You're with me now and I won't do that to you." He carried me to the bedroom and set me on the bed. I reached out and put the disk in the drawer next to the bed then turned back to Duo. He got in and pulled me against him, with his arms wrapped tight around me.

"No more tonight Heero, just rest." He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair and back in a soothing gesture and I was soon falling asleep, as his gentle hands made my relax and cuddle up against him.

I realized we had slept in yet again when I woke up the next morning. Duo was getting dressed when I opened my eyes. He had his black pants on for work, but his shirt was no where to be seen. I must have made some kind of noise, because Duo turned to me and smiled.

"Morning sunshine." I blinked at him as he crawled onto the bed and kissed me. "You were really out of it this morning, so I let you sleep in. We have to go in to Howard's today, so go take your shower." He told me and went back to looking in his drawers.

I got out of bed and did as he asked, but I still remembered what had happened last night. Still remembered what Duo had seen. He didn't act differently towards me, so he meant what he said last night. That part of my life was over. It didn't matter anymore. I couldn't change it and I was with Duo now. He cared about me.

As the finished drying my hair, I put on my clothes for work and breathed a sigh of relief. I couldn't change my past, but I could make sure my future would be a happy one.

A happy one with Duo.

Yeah, that's what I wanted.

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TBC...

Thank you all of my reviewers! I love you all.

8 reviews til the next chapter. And if you're reading TSYA please review it. I really want to know what everyone thinks. Hugs


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Beta-read by: Solanum and Kat. Thank you ladies!

Warnings: Language and some graphic scenes, not too bad though.

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Life had never been better, now that I was settled down in Quatre and Duo's apartment, and now that it was my apartment also. Quatre tried suggesting that Trowa move in as well, but he declined, saying that he practically lived at the apartment any way and it would be inconvenient to move his things. Quatre pouted about it for a while, but then agreed with him and declared he liked having the privacy of Trowa's apartment when they needed it.

Duo and I had been working for Howard non-stop for the past few weeks. With all the holidays passing by and Valentine's Day coming up there were tons of things to be delivered. Duo explained Valentine's Day to me and later told me it was one of the most romantic holidays of the year.

When I asked him why, he just told me it always had been and I took the proper action into researching it further. Duo went to bed rather early saying that he was exhausted from all the deliveries we had to do, but I told him I wanted to stay up a while longer and look up some things. He told me good night and went to bed. I knew I could just climb in later and he would still wrap me up in his arms, even if he was fast asleep.

I searched for anything that had to do with Valentine's Day, or V-day as Duo called it. There were a lot of sites from which to choose, and I ended up looking at quite a few. The history of V-day was rather interesting and the modern day interpretation was also informative to read.

The holiday was set up for couples so they could be romantic towards each other. The sites also claimed that the couples would buy gifts for each other and often this was in the form of flowers or chocolates. The flowers would be red roses that were symbolic of love and the chocolate... well, the chocolate was just for people with a sweet tooth.

Duo and I had moved further into our friendship and had become something more. I was hesitant to use the word 'lover' since many of the sites said 'a lover is the person you make love to.' I looked into the term further and found out that it also meant the people were in a relationship and were having sex. Duo and I hadn't had sex yet, but it was no secret that he wanted to have sex with me.

He told me he would wait until I was ready, but even now, I still questioned whether or not to go through with the romantic holiday and finally give myself to Duo.

I knew that Duo would never hurt me; he said so himself and I believe him. He has never done anything to make me think differently. Everything we do together is talked out first and if I decide to finally be bold we do things that we haven't done prior.

But for the holiday... will I really be able to go through with it?

I looked at the sites again and see all the happy couple ads. I want that to be me and Duo.

I need that to happen.

I loved him too much to let him go.

Without letting myself get too embarrassed, I clicked on the next shopping site I saw. I purchased some chocolates, mostly what I thought were Duo's favorites, and arranged for them to be billed to my accounts. I had them sent to a shop the day before V-day so I could pick them up. I also bought a few bouquets of flowers. I read the caption about how it would be romantic to scatter the rose petals all over the bed or in a bathtub for lovers to soak in.

Well, everyone in the apartment used the bathroom, so the tub idea was out, but the bed I could fix myself.

With my purchases selected, I checked everything out and had the flowers arrive in the afternoon in one of the florist shops I would pass by on V-day. Duo and I would be running deliveries that day no doubt, but I had to somehow get out of it. Maybe if I...

"What are you doing?" I turned and saw Quatre looking at me with a knowing grin and I closed the laptop.

"Nothing," I said and tried to look innocent. Quatre grinned and opened the laptop back up to reveal the site I was using.

"Nothing, hmm? This doesn't look like nothing. It looks to me like you're trying to win Duo over," he whispered knowing that Duo was asleep in our room.

"I'm not trying to win him over. I'm just-just trying to research the holiday coming up."

"V-day. It _is _a romantic holiday and I'm sure Duo will like the chocolates. The flowers are a little iffy though. Why do you need so many?"

"I want to cover the bed with them. I read it's supposed to be very romantic."

"You're trying to deepen your relationship with Duo, huh?" I blushed even more and Quatre just leaned forward and hugged me. "You don't need to win him over. You already have him, so don't worry about that. This research you're doing is, for the most part true for couples, but Heero... Are you really ready to be that close to Duo?"

I looked away and thought about it.

Duo meant the world to me and he had saved me time and again when I couldn't help myself.

He never pushed me into doing anything. He always waited to see what I wanted.

Did I really want to do this for him?

Yes, I did.

"I want to do this Quatre, but I need to get things ready. Please don't tell him anything," I pleaded and Quatre made a gesture as if he were zipping his mouth closed.

"My lips are sealed. Don't worry. If you want to do the tub full of rose petals you can. Trowa and I will be at his apartment on V-day so it's up to you to carry out this plan of yours. I won't try to stop it at all. I think it's very sweet of you and I wish you lots of luck. When you're done go to sleep. I bet Duo misses you. Good night." Quatre hugged me tight then went back into his room and closed the door, leaving me to set my plan in motion.

Now, all I had to do was get some things fixed and everything would be perfect.

xxxx

I talked to Howard the next day and asked if I could leave at one in the afternoon on V-day. He wanted to know why and when I told him a bit about my plan, he laughed a little and told me it was "fine and dandy." Howard even told me of a place from which I could call and order real romantic dinners and I gratefully accepted the address and number.

Howard told me he'd let Duo out around five o'clock and would have Hilde drive me around to prepare for Duo's arrival. She was ecstatic that she could help me out and said she didn't mind playing taxi, since it would be a riot to get all the juicy details later. I smiled and thanked her. Everything was according to plan and Duo didn't know a thing. I was very pleased with myself.

xxxx

The date arrived quickly and before long it was V-day. Duo woke up before me and greeted me with a morning kiss and he whispered, 'Happy Valentine's Day' to me as we got out of bed. Duo immediately began to change into his work clothes and I finally gathered up my courage and got changed in the room as well.

I shocked Duo, because he stared at me a few moments after he realized I wasn't leaving the room. I stripped naked with him still in the room and pulled on my work clothes. Duo looked away before I revealed anything below my waist, but I could see the faint, pink blush on his cheeks because of it.

I went to start breakfast while he finished and set a plate of waffles before him when he sat down. We ate in peace, then got our coats on and ran out the door to go to work. Duo and I delivered a bunch of bouquets and chocolates, teddy bears and big heart-shaped balloons all morning long until we had to go check in at noon and Howard put my plan into action.

We were just sitting down in the break room to have our lunch when Howard yelled for Duo. "Duo! Come here for a second."

Duo went over to Howard and noticed the guy that was with Howard. He was as tall as Duo and was definitely oriental. Chinese possibly, judging by his features because of his dark brown eyes and tightly pulled back black hair that was most common with Asians. Duo gave him an odd look and turned back to Howard. They weren't too far away, so I got to hear their conversation.

"Duo, this is Wufei Chang and he is our newest employee. I want you to take him out with you to finish the rest of the deliveries. Show him the ropes as it were."

"Howard! You can't be serious. Heero's my partner. What am I going to do with two partners?" Duo asked him and Howard pondered this a bit. I felt Hilde nudge me in the ribs and she leaned in close to me.

"This is going to be great," she whispered in my ear and then pulled back to watch the show. I didn't know what Howard was going to do, but I knew I would be with Hilde the rest of the afternoon.

"Heh, you're right. You don't need two partners."

"Yeah see I told-"

"And that's why Heero is going to be helping Hilde the rest of the afternoon. Is that alright with you Hilde?"

"It's fine with me Howard. Come on, Heero. Let's get the rest of those packages delivered."

"Okay." I finished my drink and saw Duo's eyes widen.

"You're serious? Well shit!" Duo yelled and I heard him ranting a bit more colorfully as Hilde and I went to get our things. "I can't believe you're breaking my partnership up with Heero!" Duo said angrily. Their voices were fading as we walked further away from them.

"Geez, Duo. Don't blow a blood vessel. It's only for the day and Wufei needs to learn," Howard reprimanded him.

"Yeah, learn to not break up me and Heero," Duo sighed and I almost pitied him. But my plan had to go into action and what I was planning, I hoped would cheer Duo right up. I just prayed I was up to it as well.

xxxx

"Well, that's it. Do you need any help with anything Heero?" Hilde asked as she dropped me off at the apartment. She set the dinners I bought on the table and I laid the four, one dozen red rose bouquets on the counter.

"Nope, I think I'm fine. I just have to set everything up. Thank you for helping me today Hilde."

"No problem. Any time Heero. I just want all the juicy details tomorrow okay?" She leered.

"Maybe. Depends if I didn't panic or not," I told her and started taking out the dinners and putting them on plates to place in the oven to keep them warm. She laughed and hugged me from behind.

"Are you sure you're the Heero I know?" She asked and I nodded.

"Thank you Hilde. Happy V-day."

"And a Happy V-day to you too. See ya." She waved and was out the door. I secured and locked it, then began my preparations. I got changed into some soft comfortable clothes and folded down the bed and took two of the bouquets and tore off the buds and threw the petals all over the sheets and pillows. Then left a single rose across our pillows to accent them.

I opened a box of chocolates and placed them on the bedside table. They wouldn't melt for a while and it would be convenient to have them there for later for... whatever we would be doing.

With that done, I took another bouquet and did the same thing to the bathtub and filled the tub only with a bit of water so the petals wouldn't wilt. The last bouquet, I placed in a fancy jar of water and set it in the middle of the table so Duo would see it when he came in the door.

It was almost five o'clock and Duo would be getting home in about ten minutes. I couldn't wait.

I checked everything and made sure it was all in place then took out the dinners and placed them at our settings at the table. I put forks and knives where they should be and laid out some napkins so we wouldn't have to get up. I poured us some sparkling white grape juice that I had picked up too. I didn't want to have wine since it made me too sleepy last time I had it. That and because of what almost happened when I had drunk it.

That wouldn't happen this time. I was willing to let Duo have me, but not some slime-ball looking for a quick fuck. I loved Duo and I hoped that this would prove it.

I pushed those thoughts away as I heard the door unlock and turned to see Duo come in. I smiled as he walked through the door and took off his coat and hung it up.

"Hey," He called.

"Hey. I'm glad you're home."

"Me too. Wufei was a quick learner, but not much of a talker. Kind of like you are, except he gets snappy too easily. Heh. You wouldn't believe how many times he told me to shut up." He laughed a bit more and I came to stand by him and leaned into him for a kiss. He welcomed it and kissed me back, nice and slow.

"Mmm. I like that kind of greeting." He sniffed the air. "What smells so good?"

"Fillet Mignon, with sautéed mushrooms, mashed potatoes and buttered green beans." I told him and he looked at me in shock.

"Uh, Heero? Where'd you learn how to cook like that?" He asked amazed. I blushed.

"I didn't, but I knew a place that does, so come and enjoy it." I took his hand in mine and lead him to the table. He didn't resist me and sat down, staring at the roses a bit.

"Red roses." He said and looked over at me.

"They symbolize love and passion. The flower of V-day. I got them for you." I told him and ducked my head a bit, waiting for his reaction.

"You did?" I nodded. "I-I don't know what to say, except thank you, Heero. They smell lovely and everything here looks delicious. Even you." I blushed and picked up my glass and raised it to him. He noticed and raised his as well.

"To a Happy Valentine's Day and more to come." I toasted and clinked glasses with Duo.

"Many more to come," he agreed and sipped his grape juice and smiled. "Let's dig in."

We ate and talked over what went on throughout the day and I had to keep my part of the conversation to the early part of the afternoon. I did deliver packages with Hilde for a little bit before we picked up everything, so I didn't have to lie. Duo did most of the talking and loaded the dishwasher so we didn't have to worry about doing dishes or anything tonight.

Duo wanted to get out of his work clothes so I followed him as he went to the bedroom. I saw him stop dead in his tracks in the doorway and nearly bumped into him.

He stared at the bed like he didn't believe it was there and a part of me couldn't blame him. It was bold of me to do this and I waited for his reaction to it, but he just stared. Finally, I couldn't help it and asked. "You don't like it?" That shook him.

"Heero, what is this? Dinner and the flowers were nice, but this... What are you doing?" He looked so very confused and I half expected him to walk away, but I couldn't let that happen.

I had to do this - for him - for us.

I stepped closer to him and wrapped him up in my arms and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. He didn't respond to it. He remained still. I tried again and again, but he didn't do anything. I pulled back and looked at him and felt my heart ache.

"You don't want me?" He blinked at me and shook his head. "Then why aren't you kissing me back? You said you liked my kisses. You don't anymore?" I stepped back and he finally reacted and grabbed my arms.

"No. This is all a bit... overwhelming. I never expected you to do this. Ever. Who gave you the idea?" I shook my head.

"No one. I did research by myself and wanted to be romantic and surprise you."

"You definitely surprised me." He said and looked at me. "What do you want to do with all this?"

"I want to finally be yours. Like Quatre is Trowa's. I know you wouldn't hurt me and I want to do that tonight."

"You want to do it? What do you want to do exactly?" He asked, not letting go of me and coming closer so we were almost touching with the entire length of our bodies.

"I want you to love me. To make love to me, if you want to," I whispered and he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me gently.

"I already do."

It was like something was happening to us all at once. I took off Duo's shirt and he took off mine and I slowly lead him over to the bed. We dropped an article of clothing with every step until we had nothing to hide and every bit of me was on display. Duo didn't care for his own nakedness and I let my eyes take in his beautiful form.

He pushed me gently to the mattress and began to kiss me all over. He took me in his mouth and made me feel pleasure unimaginable. I felt like I was flying in the clouds and was tumbling towards ecstasy with Duo helping me climb every step of the way.

I returned the favor and brought him pleasure with my mouth. I wasn't that experienced since J just made me do certain things. But this was Duo, not J.

I varied the pressure like Duo had, trying to recreate all the things I had felt him do to me and he came hard in my mouth. I swallowed all of it and we curled up together, just enjoying ourselves in each others warmth.

Duo reached over and picked up one of the chocolates from the bedside table I had laid out earlier and fed it to me. The chocolate tasted wonderful and melted in my mouth. When I was done, I saw that Duo picked up another one and offered it to me to feed to him. I complied and traced his bottom lip before letting those soft lips take the treat into the warm cavern of his mouth. Duo let the chocolate melt then kissed me long and deep. He slipped his tongue passed my lips and although it startled me, I enjoyed it. He tasted like the chocolate.

We fed each other some more pieces and even shared them mouth to mouth. Duo's hands touched me so gently in so many places that I didn't feel scared at all. I felt loved and cared for and Duo's eyes never left me for a moment.

We were doing this together and it wasn't about one of us dominating the other. We were both in control of what was happening and Duo would stop briefly before we did something to make sure I was okay with it.

Finally, Duo rolled away from me and got off the bed. He kneeled on the floor and I watched as a box was slipped out from underneath the bed. I knew what was in that box and what we would do with what was inside it.

Duo got out the presents Trowa and Quatre had got us for the holiday. But to my surprise, he only took out the condoms and lube. He whispered to me what he planned on doing to me and I rolled over onto my stomach and felt his slick fingers enter me. They prepared me gently and every once in a while Duo would hit a spot deep inside me that made my body tingle with pleasure.

When Duo thought I was ready, he flipped me over to my surprise, and said he wanted to see my face as he made love to me. And make it he did.

We thrusted against each other, mingled our breaths together, and fell towards that place of pleasure I had only visited once and it had only been a few minutes ago.

Pleasure over took me and I felt myself coming and Duo came inside me.

We were joined so closely, so intimately and I didn't regret a thing.

I felt as Duo pulled out of me and then held me close.

I felt our heart beats thump against each other and felt them slowly go back to normal. Duo wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me deeply. Then placed soft kisses all over my face and neck until I was giggling from it. He pulled back and looked at me, love and warmth filling his eyes.

"I love you Heero. I love you with everything that I am."

"I love you too Duo. All I am is yours."

"Happy?" Duo asked me and claimed my mouth in a soft, tender kiss.

"Very much so. The bathtub has rose petals in it, too," I told him quietly, regaining my breath.

"It does, does it?" I nodded. "Well, we can't let them go to waste now can we? I'll be right back, Beloved." He kissed my cheek then I felt him get out of bed. I felt a brief pang of loss, but quieted it with the sight of Duo's bare ass wiggling as he went out the door. I smiled a lazy smile and listened as I heard the bath water turn on.

Duo came back a few minutes later and picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bathroom. "Don't fall asleep just yet, my love. Let's get you clean first."

He gently settled me in the tub and rose petals floated around me on the water's surface. I played with them a bit, and then felt Duo settle behind me. Pulling me against his chest, I rested my head against his shoulder and let him wash me off. The feel of those loving hands tending to me so carefully, had me relaxing even more as the water lapped around me and the scent of roses was on the air.

This was heaven.

And there was no way I wanted to leave it.

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TBC...

Thank you all of whom reviewed:_ **Serena429, Nikkler, Danyu, GundamGrl01, Mayhem's Angel, YaoiKitty, Khrystaleighia, EquineAngel, Velveteenz, Shizuka-Yuki, Bombayoni, LiZzArD, Narutofan11, DKJoy, Moon Wizard, Pryzm, Nita-sama, Morbidromantic, and Shinigami-Koi!** I love you people and thank you so much for providing me with feedback. You always encourage me to write. _

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You know the drill or at least I hope you do. 8 reviews before I post again, please. Thank you!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Warning: Discussions about relationships and a lot of mentions of the horizontal tango.

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A soft whisp of warm air blew in my ear and tickled my cheek. I cracked open one eye and looked to see Duo curled against my shoulder, his face almost touching mine. I was still tired and knew I could sleep, but for one instant, I wanted to savor the memories of everything that had happened.

I could still feel Duo's soft touch on my skin, so different than what I had once feared. Human contact meant pain and humilation. Especially when I was in J's care.

Duo had a golden medal in my eyes, for not just taking what he wanted. He waited for me, never pushing or trying to get me to do something I wasn't ready for. He was always just there for me to lean on him when I felt myself crumbling at the seams.

No one had ever done that for me. Nobody cared, unless they could gain something.

Duo was different.

He cared about the who, not the what. He wanted me to feel safe, and not fearful. He loved me without pushing me to have sex with him, and I loved how we made love together. So slow and gentle amongst the soft rose petals and in the comfort of our bed.

Duo loved me and I loved him, but where would we go from now?

Would we be like Quatre and Trowa who seemed to jump into every opportunity there was to have sex? Or would we be like Hilde who told me in the car, "Sex is both powerful and binding, it should be done on special occasions as well as when you both agree to have it. It can make or break a relationship, so don't rush into things and give in so easily."

I was still trying to figure out her message to me. I understood that I shouldn't act like a wanton every time Duo and I got into bed. That would just be shameful and defeat the purpose of calling it making love.

Would I have to always sleep naked, or were clothes permitted when we were too tired to do it? My mind was a jumble of unanswered questions and I could feel the start of a headache coming.

"Heero?" I looked into half open violet eyes and saw the concern for me within them.

"Hm?"

"Don't hm, me. What are you thinking about?" He asked softly. I chewed on my bottom lip a bit then sighed giving in.

"What do we do now?"

"Sleep. Aren't you still tired?" He asked and didn't understand what I was asking.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, yes, I'm still tired but that's not what I was asking about."

"So what were you asking about?" He raised his eyebrow at me and I sighed. I would have to be blunt.

"What do we do now that we've had sex? Do we always have it? Do I have to be naked when I sleep in the bed with you from now on? Do I-" Duo's hand lightly covered my mouth as he raised himself up on his elbow and frowned at me. He seemed to be looking for something, but for what, I couldn't tell.

"Oh, Heero. Why are you worrying about that now?" I shrugged. "You don't know? I think you're just nervous and want to know everything ahead of time so you can be prepared for it. I'm sorry to tell you, but there is no plan," Duo said softly and began combing his fingers through my hair gently as he spoke.

"We don't have to have sex everyday, we'd be too tired to do it and Howard would kill us for being lazy. You don't have to sleep naked unless you want to. I prefer it sometimes, but not always. I enjoy just being wrapped in sheets and having the cotton fabric glide against my skin, but that's my preference. You have to see what you like best."

I nodded, happy to know these things and gathering them up in my mind as fast as I could. Duo still didn't answer the first question and I thought that maybe he forgot about it. I opened my mouth to ask, when he beat me to it.

"Where we go from here, is the toughest one to ask as well as the easiest. I love you and that's all you have to know right now. We'll take things slowly, see what we like and what we don't. We're already partners and nothing changes that. Wufei is stuck with Hilde for the next couple of weeks so you don't have to worry about him butting in." I blushed, I couldn't help it.

Duo narrowed his eyes at me and stared at me hard as he spoke. "Did you have something to do with Wufei being with me when he first got to the scrapyard?" He asked, narrowing his eyes further.

"Horward planned it that way, but I knew about it. I couldn't set everything up if you were here," I stated and he brightened slightly.

"You're lucky I love you."

"I know I am." Duo then rolled me onto my back and started to kiss me all over until I was laughing so hard it hurt. I really did know how lucky I was.

xxxx

Duo and I made some breakfast before going into work. Hilde hounded me for a while and I told her how dinner went and how Duo was happy with everything I had done even if he didn't expect it. The entire plan had been a success. She wanted to know some of the more intimate details, but I couldn't tell her. Although, she was very amused by my blushing face.

Howard got some things out of me as well, but didn't want to know any of the details Hilde wanted. I thanked him again for telling me about the restaurant. He brushed it off and was just glad to have helped me. He gave me the list of packages and their addresses that we had to deliver for the day. Duo was packing the van and was waiting for me when I came outside. Some Christmas tunes were still playing on the radio, but soon Duo switched channels for some heavy metal tunes instead.

The radio played while he drove and soon we were delivering packages left and right. Some people needed us to take packages from their homes to add to the ones we already had, but we didn't mind, most of them were around the same area.

Duo and I finished a little after two in the afternoon and came back to Howard's to sign out for the day. There wasn't anymore to be delivered for the day and Duo reminded me that we were supposed to go see The Phantom of the Opera with Trowa and Quatre at five. I couldn't believe I forgot.

Duo drove us back to the apartment and we had a light lunch of sandwiches and soup then went to take a shower. I took mine first and then Duo took his. The news was on so I sat on the couch and watched it while Duo showered. Duo came out ten minutes later with only a towel around his waist. His hair was damp and a grin was plastered on his face.

"What are you watching?" He asked and came over to me and sat down. He smelled good, spicy and fresh at the same time.

"The news," I answered, somewhat distracted by his pressence.

"Can I interest you in something a bit more... entertaining?" He leered and nuzzled me neck.

"What might that be?"

"How about some snuggling before the cute couple comes home?" He suggested. The TV only had a commercial playing now, so I turned it off and gave Duo my full attention. "We don't have to if you don't want to... " He started to say, but stopped when I stood up.

"There's nothing on any way. Can we go in our bedroom?" I asked and waited for Duo. He stood up immediately and tugged my hand and led me to our room, closing and locking the door behind him. His skin still glistened from the water droplets that dotted his chest and I bent my head to lick at one of them in the center of his chest.

"Oh Heero," He groaned and tilted his head ack slightly. "You can keep doing that as much as you want to." I lapped at his nipples and teased them a bit until they hardened before pulling away. Duo's eyes were glazed over and he looked underneath half closed eye lids. "What do you want to do, love?" He whispered to me softly, his warm breath caressing my cheek.

"Anything you want."

"Hm, how about we take a nap and I just hold you for a while?" He suggested and it surprised me. Duo seemed to notice right away. "You expected me to want to do something else, didn't you?"

"I thought... " I stopped as Duo put his fingers over my mouth.

"You're too new at this, Heero. Let's pace ourselves for a while, we don't have to rush things."

"Okay," I whispered.

Duo helped me out of my clothes and stripped me down to my underwear, then he removed his towel and tossed mine in the hamper. I crawled into bed and Duo pressed me down on the soft bed clothes. They smelled faintly musky and I knew it was from what we had done last night.

Not that I minded the scent, it brought up good memories now. Duo climbed in next to me and wrapped me up in his arms, kissing my face in random places. At the corner of my eye, then my temple and finally he pressed his lips gently against mine and kissed me slowly using only his lips.

We kissed for a few minutes until trailed down my cheek and started to trace along my jaw with teasing nips. He lapped at my neck some and teased some of my ticklish spots he knew. I could feel his lips suck on my flesh and that wonderful tongue of his would caress my skin. My eyes rolled back into my head from the pleasure I was receiving. I was floating on cloud nine and didn't want to come down.

It felt fantastic.

Duo pulled away after a while and stared at me with a smile plastered on his lips. "I marked you and now you're mine."

"I'll always be yours." I whispered to him. It starlted me to realize I meant it.

"Do you mean that?" Duo asked as him nibbled my ear lobe.

"Yes, of course I mean it Duo," I sighed happily.

"Good. You'll always have me too. Forever and ever and ever. I love you so much, Heero." We kissed some more until my eyes grew heavy and I leaned further into the pillows. I could feel Duo's arms tighten in a hug then felt the slacken as he too fell asleep.

xxxx

We slept for several hours and before long we had to get up and get ready to go out. Duo picked out my clothes and soon Quatre and Trowa came home and picked us up. Trowa chose to drive to the theater house so it was a quick ride for the most part.

We arrived early enough and Quatre told the girl we want a table with an excellent view. She took us to a table right next to the stage and took our drink orders. I just wanted some water, but Quatre and Duo decided for something with a bit more of a kick. Trowa wasn't drinking because he drove us here and he needed to stay level-headed. I was silently grateful that I would be able to talk to him just fine even if the other two did a number on themselves.

The theater quickly filled up and soon the food arrived. Servers walked briskly across the room and carried trays with an array of goodies pilled on them. Stuffed mushrooms and other vegetable finger foods were offered and placed on a small plate that had been put on the table. I decided to sample everything although the mushrooms were still my very favorite.

By the time dinner arrived, the performers had entered onto the stage and took their places. They stood as still as a statue and if I didn't know better, I would have thought they were just overlly made up dolls. We had our dinner set infront of us and soon were digging into the generous portions and gormet offerings of food that were set upon our plates.

Duo wrinkled his nose up a few times, but ate everything on his plate and then some. He even took some of my food since I couldn't finish it. The performers were lovely and even though I had never seen The Phantom of the Opera, I found the story very touching and felt my heart go out to the phantom by the time the performance. I knew all too well that I could've been that very phantom and could lose everything very quickly as well.

My eyes started to get heavy by the time we had to leave. Duo thankfully didn't drink a lot and guided me out to the car. Quatre was a different story. Trowa carried him out and buckled him up in the back when we found the car. I fell asleep in the car and woke up to find myself being carried into the apartment by Duo. I didn't have to look at him at all. I knew his touch and concern for me in the way I was being held. I heard Trowa snicker when Duo gently set me on the bed and tucked me in. It didn't matter that it was early. I was tired.

I felt Duo slip in next to me after a few moments and I quickly fell asleep wrapped within his arms.

I slept through the entire night without a single nightmare. Duo's pressence kept them away and it was a relief to wake up and not feel wiped out because of those nightmares.

I really could get used to this.

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TBC...

Please review! 8 reviews until next post!

And thank you to everyone and anyone who reviewed. Your support means a lot to me and you encourage me to write more with all your kind comments.

_Serena429, YaoiKitty, The Sinner of Anger, Shizuka-yuki, Anissa32, Nikkler, Tati1, Khrystaleighia87, MoonWizard, Bombayoni, DKJoy, Lizzard, Narutofan11, and Nita-Sama. _

You are what keeps me going. Thank you so much. Breaks out the pocky and lollies


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

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"Heero, are you sure this is the stop?" Duo asked me for the third time.

"Yes, the directions say this is the place." We were outside of a iron gate that led up to a house on the hill. We had a birthday cake to deliver and as colorful as the cake was, since we had peeked at it, the house before us was dull, dark and gloomy. Talk about direct opposites and how they attract.

"Let me see that!" He snatched the paper out of my hands and scanned over its contents. He groaned and handed the paper back to me. "I hate it that you're right," he pouted.

"I don't lie, Duo."

"I know you don't. I just can't believe this is the place." He yawned and shook himself a bit then gripped the steering wheel once more. "Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we?"

He got out and buzzed the pager that was on the wall and told whoever answered that we were here to deliver a birthday cake. I heard whoever was on the other end thank Duo and soon the gate began to swing open.

Duo came back to the car, shifted it into drive and drove on through. "That was pretty easy." I smirked and got the form ready to be signed.

As Duo set the car into park the front door to the house swung open and a tall, black-haired man came out. He bowed to us as we got out in front of him and we both bowed back to him. It just seemed the right thing to do.

"The mistress thanks you for delivering the cake for her granddaughter's birthday party," he said in a rich, cultured voice.

"We're just happy to deliver it to you as well. Where would you like us to put it?" Duo asked and I handed the man the clipboard. The man signed the form before he answered.

"I will take it in, but the mistress would like to thank you herself."

"Um, sure. We have some time before we have to continue our deliveries. What do you think Heero?"

"It's fine with me."

"Wonderful. Let me take the cake and we shall be off." The man went to the back of the van and picked up the large box with ease and then started walking up the stairs to the door. "Follow me please." We did as we were asked and soon we were in a wide hall that had been tastefully decorated with tassels, banners and confetti. It wasn't overly done at all. It made the house look very cheerful.

I looked around at the large fire place and stood by it to catch some warmth from the fire. It was still freezing outside and my hands were chilled just from getting out of the van and coming into the house. Duo was looking around as well, but soon caught my eye and smiled at me. I felt a fire burn through my chest from that smile and felt warmer than I had prior.

A soft tapping sound came from above us and I turned to see what it was. The sound was from a tall woman's foot steps and she swiftly came down the stairs to greet us with a smile on her face.

"Welcome to my home. I'm Mrs. Noventa," she said. Her voice was clear and strong. Duo came up to her and held out his hand she took it and gently gave it a shake.

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am." Duo gave me a look and I came over to him and held out my hand to her like he had.

"It's nice to meet you." She smiled at me then let me go.

"Nice place you have here. It's so... big."

"And lonely at times. However, my granddaughter likes to stay with me for weeks at a time so it isn't too much for me. Otto's here too, of course and he is wonderful company." She smiled in delight and I noticed the man who had seen us in, blush a deep red at her compliments.

"How long have you been delivering packages, young man?"

"Since I was thirteen ma'am. I had a paper route then though and started working for my current employer since I was old enough to drive." Duo answered her and then she turned to me as if she expected the same.

"I've only been working the last few months or so, ma'am." She nodded in understanding. Her eyes seemed to be so kind and warm, almost like Duo's eyes were whenever he looked at me. Their eye color was nothing alike, yet hers was pleasant to look at. Duo spoke up next and his words knocked me out of my reverie.

"Well, as much as we would love to sit and chat, Heero and I must be going. I hope your granddaughter likes her cake, Mrs. Noventa."

"I'm sure she will. Take care and thank you again gentlemen. Do try to stay warm, won't you?" She called as we walked down the hall to the van. The freezing cold hit me like in one sudden rush and I almost wished we'd stayed longer. She was such a sweet lady.

We finished making our runs and were tired and freezing by the time we reported in to Howard. He was happy to see us get our work done on time and had two steaming cups of hot chocolate waiting for us for the trip home.

Duo handed in all our forms and Howard handed him his check before we went to retrieve the car. I saw Howard lean forward and say something in Duo's ear, but I couldn't hear it. Duo didn't seem to think so, and cupped his hands over his mouth to tell something to Howard. He stepped back after a minute and laughed and soon Howard was turning bright pink. I wondered what was going on, but I was certain that Duo would tell me later.

He always did if I asked.

xxxxx

The drive home was uneventful and soon we were up in our toasty warm apartment once more. Quatre still wasn't home yet so it would just be Duo and I again until seven o'clock. Our little blond roommate had mentioned having a late meeting at dinner last night, yet he usually made it home in time to eat with us as much as possible.

It was Duo's turn to cook so I took my shower before him and took the time to wash my hair while I was in there. As I stood there under the warm spray, I thought about Mrs. Noventa in that big old house. She said it was lonely there and despite her friendly, open nature she seemed a bit sad too. I wondered how she could live like that. Duo and Quatre were always around for me to talk to at some time or another and Trowa, even though he wasn't chatty, was still very friendly to me. How would I feel if they all vanished and I was left all alone except when a friend's birthday came about.

I would be miserable, that's what.

The sudden banging on the door broke me from my thoughts as I heard Duo's voice over the running water.

"Hey, hurry up in there! Some of us would like to take a shower some time this week," he called.

"Sorry Duo. I'm almost done."

"Sheesh! What are you doing in there? Jerking off?" I felt my whole body heat up even more and felt my lower regions twitch with interest to my horror. Quickly, I reached out and switched the water to cold and my arousal withered away until I was limp once more. Walking out of the shower and getting caught with a hard-on was something I wanted to avoid right now.

I washed the rest of the soap away and dried off as I got out and wrapped a towel around my waist, then opened the door to escape into my room. Duo was waiting outside the door in his boxers with a smirk on his face. "About time." I just shook my head and went to go get changed into some sweats.

It was kind of like a daily ritual any more. We would come home and whoever didn't have to cook nabbed the shower first then changed into something more comfortable to wear during dinner and the rest of the evening before going to bed.

It worked out fine unless neither of us claimed the shower and waited until right before going to bed to take one. I sometimes liked to have the hot water warm me up before going straight to bed. Duo just seemed to like to be clean after moving and delivering things all day. Our nights together were always enjoyable and sometimes there were surprises that lay in wait in the most unexpected of ways.

There were a few times we went to the movies with the guys from Howard's and Hilde, some of which are more memorable than others. Then Quatre would at times come home early, tell us not to cook anything and we'd go out for dinner and sometimes go to the pool halls for a few games. Trowa liked to take us to plays and other performances and of course, Quatre ate it right up as well since he was a hopeless romantic.

Duo, though, wanted us to go to theme parks whenever we had a day off and managed to convince the guys to join us when they could. Those times were the best. I had never been to a theme park or a fair before and sadly we only got to go a few times at the end of fall before they all closed. Duo told me we would come back during late spring and summer.

Fairs were entertaining because of all the new food and animals I got to see and experience. The rides were fun too, but a few of them I avoided since they felt like the training simulators J used on me. Some rides looked harmless until the emotions and fears they dredged up in made me tell Duo I had to get off and away from it.

Duo was always understanding and looking out for my well-being. At times, I had to pinch myself to actually know that this was real and to make sure I was awake. He never gave me a reason to doubt his love for me and yet, we had only made love not even a handful of times.

A part of me wanted to understand why he wanted to hold back from doing the act. I couldn't believe he didn't want to take me every night like J had.

Yes, I know. J's dead and gone and buried in a hole. J wasn't Duo and Duo could never be as cruel as J had been, but that still didn't explain to me why he never initiated sex. I didn't really either, though come to think of it.

There was that time on the couch when Quatre was away at a conference for a few days and we had the apartment to ourselves. We had been making out on the couch and Duo had worked his hand underneath my shirt and started to rub my back while he kissed me. I took my shirt off after a while since it kept bunching up under my armpits and was damn uncomfortable. Needless to say, Duo tried to balance us and took off his own shirt and I couldn't resist pulling him to me so I could touch all of his smooth flesh. We ended up making love on the couch until the small hours of the morning.

But even after that incident, I thought there would be more times that he would just come up and kiss me and haul me off to bed to ravish me until I couldn't move.

He never did though.

He was content to just kiss me and hold me at night. Was it me? Did he somehow place all these decisions in my hands so I wouldn't freak out? Or did he just not suggest them to keep my feelings for him fresh and needy?

I certainly felt needy when he would call me all kinds of endearments and then just leave me hanging as he fell off to dreamland. Duo could be so much of a mystery to me, and I still yearned to figure him out.

I pulled on my dark red sweats and a matching turtle-neck before going to see what was cooking for dinner. There was a lonely pot left simmering on the stove and when I checked, I could see he intended to make some pierogis. As much as I liked them, I wanted some vegetables as well and got out a can of green beans and put them in a container so they could be cooked in the microwave. Next, I checked the oven and saw some chicken strips being baked and mentally forgave Duo for making me think he was only going to serve pierogis for dinner.

"What are you doing in here?" A voice asked and I felt warm arms wrap around me from behind.

"Seeing what you're making and if it is a balanced meal or not." The arms tightened into a hug and I wrapped my own arms around his to reassure him I was just teasing.

"You were, huh? Were you also trying to botch it so we would have to order out?"

"No, I wasn't. Why would I do such a thing?" I felt him shrug and then kiss the side of my neck that always sent a shiver down my spine. I leaned into his soft lips, even as they tickled me with soft kisses and only Duo's arms kept me upright since my knees had turned to jelly. He kissed me for a few more minutes then suddenly I felt him lift me up into his arms and carry me over to the table and sat me there.

"Hmm, now you have the best seat in the house to watch me make our dinner." He leaned in and claimed my lips gently then turned around and got out a frying pan to stir up some onions and garlic that would be added to the pierogis. I watched as he fried them all together with butter and then take out the plates and handed them to me to set the table.

"Duo, there's only two." I said. Confused since Quatre didn't say he was going to be late.

"I know. There was a slight change of plans. Quatre called while you were in the shower and said the meeting was going to run later than he expected and Trowa is going to take him out for dinner once he gets out. So it's just you and me tonight pardner," he drawled with one of those movie-western accents.

"I don't mind." He turned a bit and smirked at me then went back to cooking. I watched him for a few more minutes before getting off the table and setting up the rest of the things we needed. I cooked the green beans I had placed in the microwave earlier and Duo just smiled at my thoughtfulness when I took them out and dished some of them up.

"You can save the rest in a smaller container, Heero. Just in case the guys get hungry later."

"Sure." There were a bunch of containers we had from used butter tubs and we had saved them for that purpose and I put the beans in the fridge once I was done scooping out portions. Duo put two chicken strips on our plates and four pierogis as well. He left the rest in the pans and said if I wanted more I could just take it.

We had a nice quiet dinner surprisingly and talked about how pleasant Mrs. Noventa was along with the how her house looked and how much her taxes must cost her. That also reminded me about the exchange between Duo and Howard. It was about time I get some answers about that.

"Hey Duo."

"Hm?" Duo hummed as he finished chewing the chicken that was currently in his mouth.

"What did you say to Howard this afternoon that made him blush like that?" Duo snickered then coughed as his food must have gone down the wrong pipe. He coughed again then started to laugh. I didn't see what was so funny and arched my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to answer.

"Oh, sorry. It's just too funny. I told him about Mrs. Noventa and how she was old enough to be a nice girlfriend for him. He was blushing something fierce when I said I'd recommend him to her next chance I got. He just said, 'he was too old for a nice gal like her and he probably wouldn't be able to keep up with her if he tried.' Howard has one hell of a sense of humor sometimes. He isn't that old! Maybe we should tell her about him."

"But Duo, I don't think that's any of our business. I mean, he doesn't even really know her. If he wants to date her, he should do it on his own. We shouldn't force him or tease him about it." Duo stopped laughing and regarded me seriously before nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, yeah. I know Heero. Sometimes I just wish Howard would get married one day, but that old geezer is still one smooth guy deep down. Must be why I love the guy so much. He's like the uncle I've never had, but he sure is a good guy when you need him."

We finished the rest of our meal after that and I cleared away the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while Duo soaked the pans. I went to turn on the news after that and watched it for a while, taking in everything that had happened today while we worked. Duo joined me after a few minutes and leaned into me once he settled himself on the couch. It was nice to feel his warmth beside me and I unconsciously sought out his hand with mine as the news anchor droned on.

We watched the world news then Duo snatched the remote and flipped through the channels and stopped on some kind of comedy. It was filled with sexual innuendos and I had a hard time keeping up with them until their actions started to make sense to me.

Duo had his arm curled behind my shoulders and was playing with my hair at the back of my neck. I felt the shivers start up again as those talented fingers made the flesh between my legs awaken once more and this time I didn't ignore it. I reached around Duo and started to caress his thigh ever so gently with my fingertips. I felt Duo respond to them and caressed a little higher until I could tell that I wasn't the only one who was being effected.

I got up and held out my hand for Duo. He stared at me a moment before taking my hand and letting me lead him to our bedroom. Duo gathered me up in his arms and kissed me soundly, my invitation had been accepted and all I had to do was respond to it. Duo made gentle love to me. He caressed me inside and out, making me feel everything pleasurable he could come up with for me. I was floating again and when I came down, I curled up in his arms and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night, not knowing why I had been brought to awareness until I reached out and couldn't find Duo. Confusion was the first thing I felt as I touched the warm spot Duo had been sleeping in. I realized I was being ridiculous for begining to think he would just leave me and got up to find Duo. I didn't have to go very far and found him in the hallway in only his boxers talking on the phone.

"Yeah, I'm sure. We just want tomorrow off Howard... Yes, I know it's late, but this is important. Okay. Fine. Yeah. Sure, whatever... Okay, I'll take that trip on the weekend. Deal. Thanks. Bye Howie." I didn't understand what was going on, except for the fact that we had tomorrow off. It would be nice to sleep in for a change.

I tried to sneak back before Duo noticed I was in the hallway, but he caught me all the same and just grinned at me. I smiled back, not knowing what caused that grin then suddenly Duo was right in front of me and claimed my mouth in a hard passionate kiss. I tried to keep up with him, but his mouth was so demanding and all I could do was hang on tight and feel the passion flow out of him right into me.

He picked me up and went back into our room and tossed me back on the bed, ditching his boxers before joining me in the sheets. "So, now that we know we don't have to get up in the morning... Do you want another round?" I was shocked. We had never gone twice in one night, but I wasn't about to protest it and answered him by pulling him on top of me and started kissing him senseless. He responded in kind and soon we were panting and moving together all over again.

What can I say?

I loved him with all my heart and I wouldn't deny Duo anything if I could give it to him.

xxxxx

TBC...

Please review. 8 reviews until next chapter.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed so far. You know who you are and I thank you for all of your support! Huggles!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Duo, I'm cold. Can we go inside now?"

"Sure Heero. Let's go get some hot chocolate." Duo came and helped me up from where I was lying in the snow. Duo surprised me this morning and told me to dress in warm clothes and wear a hat and gloves. I was told to pack some extra warm clothes as well just in case something happened to the other ones. He wouldn't tell me why, but I packed them all the same. He had something planned and even though I didn't know what, I enjoyed the secret.

He drove us out of the town for about two hours and although I tried to find out where we were going he wouldn't tell me.

When we finally did stop, I was stunned by the sign that sat in front of us. Duo was going to teach me how to ski. He rented the padding, skies, and poles and then took me out to the bunny trail. I thought it sounded cute and innocent until Duo came up behind me and started to put the gear on me.

There was a trick to it and I soon saw that I would have to get used to not having my ankles move about. The boots kept them locked in place and the padding helped to prevent me from breaking anything.

The first thing I learned was how to fall properly so I wouldn't get hurt. Duo said he wasn't a pro but went once in a while with Quatre when they first met, so he knew what he was doing. Duo taught me all kinds of things and for an hour, I practiced along side him on the bunny trail since it was only a gradual decline and was better to learn on than the other trails.

I did pretty well and we soon were riding the ski lift up the mountain and got off at the top to pick the trail we wanted to ski down. We tried a couple of gentle ones for a few hours until Duo felt like he wanted a challenge. He picked a steep one and flew down it gracefully. I attempted to follow and didn't ski as gracefully as Duo. I landed on my butt in the snow.

Duo helped me up and I was grateful that he decided we could go in the lodge for hot chocolate. My clothes were soaked through and Duo lead me over to the lockers in the lower part of the lodge. Duo had rented it so we wouldn't have to go out to the car and change. Duo helped me out of the ski gear and then started to help me pull off the wet clothes.

I was a bit nervous that someone would come in and see us. I told Duo this and he moved in front of me so anyone who came in wouldn't see me. He would block their view of me. Duo just smiled at me and I was relieved that no one came in while I pulled on my clean warm clothes.

Duo changed next and I helped him pull on his sweater. We shoved our wet clothes in a bag along with our coats and set the lock back on there so we could pick them up later. Duo led me up to the lodging part and bought us two steaming cups of hot chocolate. I took mine and sat down on the couch. Duo joined me a moment later and brought over a blueberry muffin for us to share. We ate it in silence just enjoying the warmth that surrounded us and the hot chocolate we sipped to warm up our insides.

The slopes had been fun except for that last one and I was ready to call it a day. Duo took away my cup when I had drunk all of the hot chocolate and seemed to come up with the same solution I did. He led me back to our locker, we packed up all our things, bundled up in warmth and turned in our key to the lock before daring to go outdoors once again.

We trekked across the parking lot and soon found our car buried under more soon. I cleaned off the windows as Duo started the car up and had the heat going full blast by the time I was finished.

"So, are you ready to head home?"

"More than ready," I replied and got comfortable in the seat for the long ride home.

We made a couple of rest stops and Duo bought something called beef jerky in one of the stores. He told me to take a bite and when I did I was amazed at how hard the meat was. Duo just grinned and ripped me off a small piece to chew on. It was spicy, but had a nice flavor, so I enjoyed it.

Eventually, I fell asleep to the gentle motion of the car. That was until I felt the sudden jolt of the vehicle stopping. It jostled me awake, but as I looked out the window, I realized we were at our apartment. We parked next to Trowa's truck and figured Quatre was probably already enjoying our absence.

Sometimes it was odd to come home and find Quatre in a hot make-out session with Trowa on the couch, but I also knew that he didn't care who watched him. As long as his needs were filled, all was fine.

We gathered up our belongings and Duo marched up to our apartment and called out that he had better find everyone decently covered when he came in. Duo went first and I stayed right behind him the entire time. I bumped into him when I felt him stop abruptly and tried to see why.

"Duo? It's been a long time hasn't it?" There in our living room sat a man with long, pale blond hair that reached his waist, not as long as Duo's, but it was still impressive.

"Zechs? What are you doing here?" I peaked around the room and saw Quatre blushing. He was sitting on Trowa's lap, but the banged man didn't seem to mind at all. He stayed calm as the blond tried to explain this stranger's visit.

"I'm to blame for this Duo. Sorry. I ran into him at my meeting yesterday. I didn't get to tell you about him since you guys left pretty early this morning, but I thought you should at least see each other. We've been chatting and waiting for you to get back." Quatre told us and as I glanced at Duo and I could see he was in shock.

Who was this Zechs guy?

What did he want to do with Duo?

How did Duo know him?

That was what I wanted to know most of all.

"Come on Duo. Aren't you glad to see me?" Zechs stood up and came up to Duo and quickly wrapped his arms around him. Duo stood motionless for a moment before returning the embrace.

I was stunned. No one held Duo like that but me! What's going on here?

Zechs had closed his eyes and caressed Duo's hair in long, smooth strokes as he continued holding my Duo! I looked at Duo to see if he cared and was startled to see that he had his eyes shut too.

I couldn't breathe. Duo was enjoying being held in the arms of another man. But... what about us?

What about me?

We didn't spend the entire day together just to have it fall apart because of this man's unexpected visit.

This had to be stopped and the time was very soon.

Zechs was whispering something into Duo's ear and I caught the shiver that passed through him. They pulled apart after that and saw he was smiling. That soft, gentle smile that only I got when we were alone, he was shining it at Zechs!

Why? It doesn't make any sense!

"Heero." I whipped my head around and noticed Quatre smiling at me gently. How dare he? He brought this person to steal Duo away from me! How dare he smile like all is well with the world!

Quatre sighed and got up from Trowa's lap. He came over to take my wet clothes from me and smiled gently at me.

"It looks like you had a fun time skiing, Heero. Come with me, I'll show you how to clean them out." Quatre took hold of my wrist and led me away from the scene Zechs and Duo were making. All I could do was glare back and damn that man for seducing Duo.

I really didn't know what to think about Duo. I loved him, that much I knew. I had thought Duo loved me. He had said so himself and I didn't doubt him then, but...

"Heero, let go of the bag." Quatre tugged on my arm again and I finally released it.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." He put the clothes in the sink and began to squeeze out the water. "I'm sorry about that." I turned to look at him. He was apologizing? "Zechs is Duo's ex-boyfriend." I stared at him.

Ex-boyfriend? No wonder they seemed so... close. Quatre stared into the sink as he spoke, seemingly unable to look at me.

"They didn't break up on bad terms, which is why Zechs hugged him. They're still friends and e-mail each other once in a while, I guess. Duo hasn't talked about him for a while and I just happened to run into him at the meeting. He isn't in town for very long so don't worry about Duo. They're both tactile people. Zechs just is more open about it than Duo since he isn't with anyone right now."

"Does he want Duo back?" Quatre's head spun around to look at me. His eyes telling me that I had hit the nail on the head. "So that's why he's here? To take Duo away from me?"

"No, Heero. I'm sure Duo won't accept what he's offering. He has you. Loves you. Zechs is just an old flame. Duo won't let him come back into his life. I'm sure of it." Quatre pleaded with me, but I still wasn't so sure. I had to think about this. I had to ask Duo about it before I let myself get worked up about it.

Quatre finished with the clothes and hung them up over the shower wall to drip dry. I had to find out what was really... happen... ing.

I felt my eyes bug out of their sockets and stared as Zechs leaned in closer to continue to kiss Duo!

Duo wasn't fighting him.

He wanted him.

Why wasn't he pushing Zechs away?

How could he do this to me?

"You bastard!" I snarled and lunged. I got hold of Zechs and punched him. He sprawled on the ground, but I wasn't done yet. I kicked him as hard as I could and rained my fists on him, screaming at him in my fury and sorrow. "How could you do that? Duo's mine! Not yours! He's mine alone! You have no right to do that to him!" He fought back and I was only lucky to get a handful of hits.

"Heero stop!" Duo grabbed me from behind and dragged me away from the bastard of a man. Blood was running from his nose and he wrapped an arm around his torso, I couldn't believe that I had gotten that good and might have even bruised his ribs.

Good! He deserved it!

"Trowa get Zechs out of here, please!" I fought against him, but Duo had me clutched tight against his chest.

"Heero calm down. Please, just breathe and calm down." I watched as Trowa gathered Zechs up and lead him out the door and saw as the door moved away. It was going far, far away and I realized belatedly that I was the one who was actually moving. Duo was taking me to our room to cool off.

"Heero, relax. Just relax." Duo sat down with me in his lap on the bed. I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to, and yet I did want to all the same. I felt soft lips press kisses to my temple and ghost down my cheek. Those same lips that had been kissed by that man moments before. I shuddered and pulled away. I couldn't help it.

"Want me to scrub my lips clean?" Duo asked softly and I nodded. He meant it as a joke, but I really wanted Duo to be just Duo and not have someone else's scent on him. "Okay, I'll go to the bathroom and scrub them clean for you. I'll be right back." Duo slid me onto the bed and I watched him go out the door. I crept slowly after him and made sure to follow him. It was stupid, but I had to know that he was going where he said he was going.

He entered the bathroom and I watched as Quatre came up by the door and apologized. I heard the water running and when it shut off he came out and even as I tried to pull back in so he wouldn't see me, he did. He smiled sadly and told Quatre it wasn't his fault, before coming back to me. He told Quatre to leave us alone for a while and Quatre agreed.

I stood back to allow Duo to enter the room. He reached out and caught my hands and kissed them both before making them cup his face.

I didn't pull them away even though I probably should have, but I wasn't really angry with Duo. I was mad at Zechs.

"Heero, it's going to be all right. I'm sure Zechs won't came around here anymore. He definitely got the message from the physical threat you gave him. I never knew you could do that to someone." I shrugged. "It's a good thing to know you can protect yourself and those you care about."

"He had no right to kiss you." I practically growled and Duo smirked.

"No, he didn't. He took me by surprise with that one. Zechs is my ex-boyfriend-"

"Quatre told me."

"He did?" I nodded. "Then you know we didn't break up on bad terms. We just drifted apart when Zechs started to take an interest in another guy and I ended it before he cheated on me."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, now you do. Zechs is a nice guy, but always thinks that he can have anyone he wants. I'm sorry you had to witness his less charismatic side. I don't love him anymore. He's only a friend to me and that's it. You have to understand that." Duo stated. I knew he wanted to make me believe him and I did. It wasn't his fault, so why was he apologizing?

"It doesn't make up for what he did to you."

"You mean to us?" I stared at him and he sighed heavily. "He'll apologize for what he did later, maybe after he gets help for the minor injuries you gave him." I looked away. "Heero, don't worry. I love you and only you. Zechs just startled me and I remembered briefly what it was like to be with him. It won't happen again though, I promise."

I didn't know what to say to him, so I just hugged him to me. I couldn't give him up.

I felt Duo kiss my forehead and his fingers played with the hem of my shirt. He wanted to be closer, to be one again and make sure I hadn't had second thoughts. I didn't, but he was still testing to see where we stood.

I played with the hem of his own shirt and slowly slipped my hand underneath the fabric to touch his smooth, warm skin. We just touched and caressed one another until our lips came together and I knew everything was going to be fine.

We didn't make love, Duo didn't want me jumping to conclusions, I guessed and just gave me a back massage before he went to bed. I stayed up for a while longer thinking about how Zechs had acted. It was still unnerving to think about.

A part of me couldn't believe that Zechs acted so boldly and attempted to steal my lover. Duo warned me though, that Zechs was used to getting what he wanted and I promised myself that he would not convince Duo to come back to him. I was lost without my braided lover and I just couldn't lose him to someone like Zechs.

Quatre said that Zechs would be staying for a week and wanted to visit as much as possible, but was probably a little wary of me now that I pounced on him for kissing Duo. Maybe I had over-reacted, but how was I supposed to act?

Like it didn't bother me?

Like I didn't care what my lover did with other men or what they did to him?

I did care and I didn't trust Zechs one bit.

I couldn't lose Duo.

He was at the center of my life and I would fight to keep him, no matter what.

xxxx

TBC...

8 reviews please until the next update!

A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed. I am now back at college and my classes are going to be very time consuming, so the updates are going to slow down even more than they already have. I'll try to update on the weekends, but I also have work so I'll have to see how it goes and update when I can. Thank you to everyone who has kept on reading and reviewing. I love the feedback and I hope to hear from you again. Till the next update! _Huggles_

BTW: Pierogi's from last chapter are a doughy pastry filled with mashed potatoes and chesse usually. Their like dumplings but with potatoes instead of meat. Must be only the east coast eats them. I hope that helped with anyone who was confused by what the guys were eating.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Heero! Oh, Heero that feels so wonderful!" Duo groaned in bliss as I massaged his poor back muscles. We ended up carrying bigger loads than we were used to today since Howard needed us to stay in the warehouse. Hilde dropped by to help out a bit before she had to make deliveries with Wufei. The two of them got along well enough, but Hilde only worked half days since she had to work at the scrapyard in the morning.

I gently rubbed a bit harder at Duo's tense shoulders, finding a knot there the size of my fist. I gentled my touch as Duo hissed at the friction my fingers created against his skin. "I'm sorry. Your muscles are too tight, Duo."

"It's okay. I know you're doing your best. It's my fault any way. If I hadn't carried that huge box I wouldn't be in so much pain now. Who knew that the box would have part of an engine in it?"

"Duo it was labeled, 'warning: contents extremely heavy' it was pretty obvious that both of us should have picked it up together instead of you moving it by yourself."

"Maybe I wanted to impress you?" He asked, grinning half-heartedly.

"And how did you expect me to be impressed by seeing you hurt yourself as soon as you dropped the box into place?"

"Well, you looked impressed up to the point I dropped it." He winced as I began kneading his lower back. I felt sorry for him, but I also knew if I didn't get him relaxed there was no way that either of us was going to be sleeping tonight.

"I was impressed then, but now I get to take care of you until you feel better."

"I am feeling better. I love your hands on me Heero and my back feels a lot better than it did. I'm just stiff right now. It'll go away after a while though thanks to you." He flipped over before I could get off of him and pitched forward, right into his arms and kiss. I moaned in pleasure as I felt his lips open beneath mine and his tongue slip out to caress my lips. I took his invite and return the caress, licking, tasting, and feeling his love for me pour into the kiss.

I lay on top of him as we kissed, our joined bodies fueling the heat between us and escalating it until I felt the presence of Duo's desire for me rub against my hip. Grinning like a loon, Duo slowly rubbed against me like a cat and slowed his kisses and gently began to start kissing my face and neck. It felt so good to be touched like this again. I missed it. Zechs' interference in our lives made me doubt myself again and so Duo began showing me how gentle he could be even when we weren't in bed.

Zechs called to apologize a day after I had kicked him away from Duo and stated my claim on him as my lover. Zechs hadn't known that Duo had found someone new and so he wanted to see if he could have Duo back in his arms once again, but there was no way in hell that I would allow such a thing. Duo felt horrible about his slip, he didn't realize what was happening until I had beaten Zechs down and snapped him back to reality in the next second. I forgave Duo because he was sorry, but I put up the mental wall with him for a while. I wasn't sure if I could see that Duo really wanted to be with me after what he had done. It was painful and I had ended up pushing him away to see if he would reach out to me.

He did.

Duo caught on to what I was doing and proved to me that he wanted me. He didn't make love to me for the sheer reason that I would have probably thought he just wanted me around for my body like I had early in our relationship. Instead, he gave me massages, cuddled me whenever he could, kissed me as much as he could even if people were looking, and showed me all the love he had for me radiate from his violet-blue eyes. I could see that he wanted me to trust him entirely once more and finally I did break down and opened myself to him completely once more.

I called Zechs the next day and told him that I would be willing to have him over for dinner if he wanted to come. However, I warned him that if I so much as thought that he was coming on to Duo, I'd throw him right on his ass in the street whether he was finished or not. He agreed to my terms and we had set the date for him to come over. We made the preparation for him to come over tomorrow night and my nerves were still a bit rattled even though I had asked him to come over to our home.

It wasn't that I was thinking that he would do something to steal Duo away from me. The thought was completely unconscious and I just couldn't get it out of my head. Duo groaned beneath me and I focused back on him as I lost myself into the sensations he was creating within me.

Maybe I just found something to distract me from any thoughts for a while.

xoxoxoxoxox

"So we need honey, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, pasta, artichoke hearts, Parmesan cheese, milk, butter, eggs..." Duo's voice droned on about what we needed to buy as we walked through the store. Duo said he would cook, since he knew what all of us liked to eat. Assuming that he was talking about Zechs and me, I disregarded the statement entirely and put stuff in our shopping cart as Duo kept listing them off. I was still feeling nervous about what was about our dinner plans and Duo tried as much as he could to distract my mind from it. He was a _very good_ distraction.

We both needed to be reassured that nothing that happened tonight would shake us, but I was already feeling the doubts creep upon me. Duo made another turn down one of the aisles and stopped by the fresh meat products. My stomach still bothered me at times just by the sight of the fresh meat on display. It made me think of my own muscle tissue and how horrible it must be to be cut up into chunks and pieces like the animals that were in the glass cases were.

Duo began making his selections and tossed in some chicken breasts and ground up beef for the next day. My stomach flipped at the dark red color, reminding me of the horrors J had once shown me in part of my training. Try as I might to clamp down on the memories, they still at times chose to show up if something triggered them. It seemed obvious to me, just the sight of the raw meat did just that.

"Heero?" Duo asked me softly, sensing something was wrong. "Are you alright? You look kind of pale."

"It's nothing. I'm just tired." I told him. I wasn't really a lie, since I was tired in a sense, but probably not the way he was thinking.

"Okay. We'll be able to leave soon. We have everything we need that I can think of. Can you think of anything we might have missed?" I glanced over the contents of the cart. Everything that we had on the list seemed to be there except...

"Rolls." I stated and made my way bake to the bakery section of the store. A loud smack sounded and I glanced back to see Duo with a hand raised against his forehead.

"Damn! I'm such an idiot sometimes. How could I forget them?" He berated himself. Shaking my head at his antics, I looked over the many items placed on display and took a loaf of French bread and asked on of the servers behind the counter if I could have a dozen dinner rolls. She smiled at me and then scooped them off a baking tray behind her.

"They're fresh from the oven, sir. Just be careful." She said as she handed me a thick paper bag filled with the rolls. I thanked her and then went to meet Duo. He stood in the check-out line and was emptying our cart onto the assembly line. A young man was ringing up the items and also checking Duo out. I almost growled at him to keep his eyes to himself, but then refrained from it, thinking Duo would think I was overreacting. Thankfully, the man noticed my presence and turned his attention back to the items he rang up. Duo remaining oblivious to what was going on around him.

"I got the rolls, Duo." I said as I put them on the conveyor belt and then helped him take out more groceries.

"You're the best, love." Duo smirked at me as he rolled the now empty cart to the end of the aisle and began putting in the bagged items. The man gave looked up at me then Duo and seemed to put two and two together before turning back to his own business, realizing he didn't have a chance. He simply told us the total and I told him to send the balance through an electronic check of mine for payment. He did and handed me the receipt.

We packed the car and drove home. Duo driving since I had said I was tired and I was surprised to find myself nodding off in the car as my eyelids continued to get heavier and heavier.

I awoke to Duo lightly shaking my arm and telling me to get out of the car. Unfortunately, Duo had to park further down the street than he normally did since our parking lot was already full and the snow covered the rest. It was definitely going to take us longer to unpack than usual. I helped him take out our load from the trunk and make our way up to the apartment. It took us a few trips back and forth to the car but, we finally got everything in. Duo began sorting the groceries almost immediately, leaving out what he needed to use to start cooking and putting away all the rest.

There was a lot of things that he kept out to use and I was surprised when he began opening up packages right away and getting started. I felt a bit out of place for a few minutes while Duo wrestled with the chicken. It was like I was just a shadow fallowing him around while he got busy. Duo noticed this and began handing me cans and bags to open for him. I did them and then he began explaining what he needed my help for and how much he wanted me around to get everything prepared so we would have time for 'us' afterwards. I was shocked and very much delighted to hear about it and began doing everything he demonstrated to me.

Soon everything was prepared and either cooking on the stove and in the oven so we had time for the 'us' part of Duo's plan. And Duo persuaded me into taking a shower with him.

Not that I minded Duo's plea of how we should save water and it was better not to shower alone as his excuse for why I should join him, the invitation alone was enough to make me say 'yes'. Needless to say, Duo dropped the soak and it was a very intriguing shower indeed.

We emerged and Duo ran out to check on the food. He had reduced the heat on everything be before we had our evening delight and as soon as he deemed everything to 'still be edible' he joined me to pick out what we were going to wear for the evening. Both of us decided to wear something warm and yet be comfortable in since we didn't want to sit around in something that was going to drive us crazy all evening. We finally decided on the silk shirt Quatre had bought us, mine a deep blue and Duo's a rich deep violet. We helped dress each other and Duo continued to reassure me through his touch that he wasn't going anywhere. He kissed my ear and promised me that he wouldn't react to any of Zechs advancements, if there were any at all, and no matter what, I was his and he was mine.

At the stroke of six o'clock a knock came tapping on the door and Duo went get it after giving me a deep kiss before unlocking the door and letting in our guest. Taking a deep breath to steady my already shaking nerves, I hoped that I would be able to get through dinner without falling to pieces.

I could only wish that Zechs wouldn't unnerve me to the brink of having a panic attack, but I knew that it was going to be more likely than not.

Zechs shook Duo's hand in greeting before noticing me and reaching out to offer me a hand shake as well. Hopefully, he didn't notice how much I was shaking already.

"Thank you for the invitation to join you for dinner, Heero." Zechs said smoothly in that cultured voice of his.

"It was nothing, Zechs. I only wish for us to get to know each other better and hopefully we can be friends."

"Yes, of course." Zechs smiled at me, but their was something about his smile that I didn't like one bit. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was something that I had felt before. If only I could recall what it was.

"Well, I think everything has been cooking long enough, what do you say that we eat right away and talk during and after dinner." Duo suggested.

"Sounds good to me, I'm starving and everything smells so delicious." Duo beamed him a smile and turned to the stove and began taking things out and putting them in serving plates and bowls. I helped him set them on the table while Zechs sat down in one of the four empty chairs and watched us work together. As soon as we were done placing them on the table and seated, Duo looked over everything we had and grimaced. I noticed his face and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Dammit! I knew something was missing."

"What is? Everything looks delightful." Zechs exclaimed, giving a once over of all the dishes.

"Yeah. But I forgot the rolls. They must still be in the car. I'll go get them though." Duo exclaimed and went to put on his boots and jacket, leaving me and Zechs at the table. I was about to protest, but was interrupted by Duo. "I'll be right back, you can start without me."

"No, we'll wait. It's not right otherwise."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Duo zipped his jacket closed and nabbed his key before closing the door behind him.

Zechs turned to me as soon as Duo was out the door and smirked at me. "So will there be another hand-to-hand battle again?"

"As long as you keep your hands off of Duo, there won't have to be." I warned him.

"But you didn't state whether or not I could put my hands on you or not." I stared at him. What did he mean by that?

"You look so delicate and yet, you pack one hell of a punch when Duo's endangered by other men it seems. So you two must have slept together already, hm?"

"Just what are you implying?" I asked, my mood darkening and that early feeling I had before coming back to me stronger than ever.

"That Duo is irresistible. Any man or woman around him will notice how beautiful he is and swarm after him. Now, Duo's not the type to be ensnared by just anyone, but he's known to get bored easily. Just take for example our past relationship. I offered him everything and he had it all until he got bored with just having sex all the time. I made sure he was too tired to move when we were through. Sometimes going at it for five rounds a night and that isn't even counting the morning and afternoon. How soon do you think Duo while want to stay with you knowing that I could offer him anything he desires? What can you offer him besides the hole in your hind end? Maybe it's that sad look about you that keeps him near you for now, but how much longer do you think he'll keep you?"

My heart hammered faster in my chest from every stab Zech took at me. But I refused to believe the lies he was spreading about Duo.

"He isn't like you! Duo is beautiful and loving and doesn't keep me for just his entertainment! He loves me! Not YOU! He is the nicest person I've ever met and you can't distort his image in my eyes! EVER!"

"Well, you are a spirited one, I'll give you that. So now that I know you're love for him is as tight as the cheeks of your ass, I must ask how much is he paying you for servicing him?" I blinked at that.

"Servicing him?" I asked warily, even as I felt the pain and images of what J had done to me spring up inside my head. "What the hell is with you, Zechs! Why can't you believe that I love Duo more than anything and I'm not some whore he hired to stay by his side always. I love him."

"So even if I offered to pay you five grand a night to come and help me relieve some tension you would still say no?" Zechs smirked, I knew he was baiting me and I took it for what it was and threw it in his face.

"I don't need your money, Zechs. And I could pay a lot more than five grand a night just to have your assets removed from you so you would stop thinking with your dick and use your brain for once!" I shouted at him. To my surprise, Zechs just laughed. He laughed and laughed until I could swear tears were running from his eyes.

"I believe I have met my match." He chuckled when he could finally speak again.

"I don't understand." I growled at him.

"It was a test my dear boy. I had to be sure of what you are and you passed with flying colors."

"You mean all of those horrible things you said were spoken just so you could get a rise out of me?" I questioned.

"Precisely. I think we'll be able to become very good friends much sooner now." Zechs smirked and I sat shell-shocked. Just then I heard the door knob rattle and Duo came back in looking snow covered and cold, but very pleased with himself.

"I found the rolls. So what did I miss?"

xxxxxxx

TBC...

A/N: To those of you who were wondering about my absence. I have been going crazy for most of the fall semester with being buried alive be all my college work and my two jobs. I finally have managed to update once again, but I must warn you that I'm still going to only be posting randomly until Summer most likely. Sorry to disappoint but there is nothing more I can do. I'll hopefully be able to get another chapter of TSYA out again before my winter break is over as long as my job hours allow it to be so.

HUGS to anyone who is hopefully still following the story! I hope you all had a nice holiday and New Years!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

xoxoxoxoxoxox

"I can't believe he said all that stuff to you! What the fuck is wrong with him?" Duo raged as we cleaned up the living room after Zechs left. I finally found the courage to tell him what Zechs said to me. The reaction, I got though, startled me. A part of me half expected Duo to side with Zechs and what he said to me was really some sick joke, not rant about him like this.

"Calm down, Duo. He left and it's over. I'll just forget it ever happened."

"Like hell! Heero, he basically shoved everything you worry about in your face and brought it up when I couldn't stop it! He had absolutely NO RIGHT to do that to you! Don't sugarcoat this into something that it isn't. I know how Zechs is when he gets jealous." Duo said sullenly.

"You're right. You would know better than I do." I told him softly as I turned to put the coffee mugs in the sink. Duo did know more about Zechs than I did because he _used to be with _Zechs. That thought alone made me bitter. Zechs was a thousand times more experienced at being a lover than I was. How was I even supposed to try to step into his shoes? Who was I when compared with him?

Maybe he was right. Duo would grow tired of me. It was one of my biggest fears, after all. I knew that if he ever did leave me, there was nothing I could do to stop him.

If it was what he wanted, I would let him go. I would let him leave if it was what he truly wanted.

A warm breath of air caressed the back of my neck as strong bands of muscled arms wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry." Duo breathed in my ear. His warm breath tickled my sensitive skin as he whispered to me how beautiful I was to him and how much he loved me. I let his words sweep through me like a spell and locked the tender words inside my heart.

Duo tugged me to our room and I let him remind me of how much he needed me. His fingers danced across my sensitive skin with gentle motions and subtle reminders of how much he knew about my body and how I would respond. He made my skin tingle and warm up with the ever-growing lust I felt whenever we would make love. He wouldn't let me forget it and I begged for a kiss from him.

My arms reached up into his silken mass of hair and caressed those beautiful tresses with my fingers as he gently pressed me down into our soft bed. A cool breeze ghosted my flesh as he divested me of my clothes, one item at a time. He kissed the exposed skin of my belly and pressed warm kisses at every inch. A moan of pleasure escaped my lips as he moved lower and began to prepare me for the long night that was ahead of us, a smile of happiness never leaving my lips as he made slow, sweet, and gentle love to me.

When I awoke, Duo was still wrapped within my arms and his warm breath billowed against my neck where his head rested. My body was sated and my mind comforted by Duo's steady presence and dedication to show me he loved me, even though my doubts had clouded my belief in him. Zechs' words had haunted me and Duo had to remind me of what I had and reinforced it with his love for me. I fell back to sleep, knowing that Duo was right beside me and I was safe within his arms.

The nightmares had come though, as I knew they would. They always appeared when my trust in Duo wavered.

Sometimes ghostly images of J would appear, making me quake and tremble in fear. A cold hand would drag me away from Duo and take me back to that room that I had been kept in when J wanted to play with me.

Sometimes the nightmares weren't really nightmares, but memories of what my life had been before Duo had shined some light upon the horrible existence that was my life.

None of these images were as bad as the ones where Duo would slowly disappear into the darkness and I would be alone, calling for him to come back and screaming for him to save me. The nightmare held onto me with a vice-like grip, refusing to let me go even as I struggled to free myself and reach Duo. No matter how close I came to saving him, he would always slip through my fingers at the last second and disappeared before my eyes. The nightmare had ensnared me and refused to let me go. I could feel the darkness over take me as I was drowned in the black ocean of oblivion.

I jumped with a start when I felt something tighten around my waist. As I looked down, I saw skeleton arms wrapped around my middle, the hands clutching at me. I struggled to break free but the arms kept getting tighter and tighter, threatening to squeeze out the last of my breath._ 'Heero...' _A voice called to me as I felt the skeleton begin to shake me. I closed my eyes tight as I wished Duo would come to rescue me, yet I knew he couldn't.

He was...

"Heero! Heero, wake up! Come on, baby I know you're in there! Open your eyes, my love!" It was Duo's voice, I realized as my eyes snapped open.

He was here?

Duo was hovering above me, his eyes filled with concern. How did he...? But where was the skeleton?

I blinked at him then looked down at my waist. The blankets wrapped tightly around me in some kind of twisted design. It was just the blankets! Only our blankets, I thought to myself. Not some skeleton trying to kill you. A sigh of relief escaped my lips as my brain finally grasped at what I was seeing.

"Heero? Are you alright?" Duo asked me softly. He was still naked, sitting close to me, but not as close as when we had been sleeping last night. I nodded shakily and he started to help untangle me from the blankets. "You were thrashing around so violently in your sleep that these got wrapped all around you. It must of been a really bad dream." He said quietly.

"It was." Duo tugged the rest out the blankets off the bed and threw them to the floor. He came to sit beside me as I willed my heart beat to slow down. Duo gently reached out and caressed my face with the briefest touch of his fingers. I found myself leaning into his touch and he came even closer to me until he was sitting behind me. Both of his legs were stretched out on each side of me as he got comfortable. He gently put his arms around me and pulled me back to lean against his chest. His warmth so inviting, I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers brush lightly against my cheek. A moan rumbled in the back of my throat, almost like a cat purring, from the gentle sensations of comfort he was giving me.

"You're safe with me, love." He murmured against my forehead as I turned to bury my face in his neck. Tears threatened to escape from my eyes as he held and rocked me slowly, calming me down from the horrible vision I had dreamed and made me warm again with his heat.

I don't know how long we sat there together. My eyes becoming waterfalls with their unending tears, spilling my sorrow and fears as the flood kept up with its rage. Duo continued to comfort and soothe me even when the tears began to slow and I regained some control over myself again. He wouldn't let me hide my fears. My tears were the proof of them.

"My sweet baby." He crooned. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty. But... better than I would have with you here." I briefly smirked at him.

"Glad to be of service." I chuckled a bit at that as he tilted his head if he were going to take a bow.

"How do you always know how to set everything straight?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I do what feels right and do what I must to make you feel better. What kind of lover would I be if I left you hurting and tried not to stop the pain that you're feeling? I love you, Heero. I'll do whatever I can to help you, if I can. Even fighting those evil nightmares you've been having." He grinned down at me then kissed me so softly that it felt like a gentle breeze washing over my skin instead of a kiss. But I loved the moment all the same.

Duo kept holding me until I nodded off again, when I awoke the next morning, the covers were back on the bed and wrapped around both of us. I had my face buried against Duo's neck, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, and my legs entwined with his. Duo's chest rose and fell with his gentle breath and I took a few minutes to get my bearings again. The room was brighten with the light of the sun and none of the harsh shadows of my dreams came to tear me away from the comforting calm of the morning light.

It was hard to believe my worst nightmares had happened in this room. A room that held all of my most precious memories. I could just weep knowing that no matter how hard I tried to forget what I was, the memories just wouldn't leave me. Sometimes I didn't know what was worse, being stuck with these thoughts and images or knowing that I had come so far since then but still could get sucked back into that life at any moment.

The one thing I did know was that I couldn't give up Duo or this new life no matter what. The struggle to deal with it and anything that tried to take it away was better than actually having the worst happen. I never told Duo, but there were other people that worked with J and they had yet to come forward. G didn't care about me, I knew that for certain after he bid me farwell and told me all of J's things were now mine after he died. The amounts in his bank accounts would forever help me to survive and keep Duo and I secure for a very long time if not until our deaths. It was a morbid thought, but a comforting one all the same.

Still... I had to wonder if my nightmares were trying to tell me something. And if they were, would I be able to figure them out before disaster struck.

xoxoxoxox

TBC...

_A/N: Sorry I've been away for so long, but my schedule is full to the brim even though it is my spring break, which really stinks. But I thank everyone who has reviewed my fic thus far and I'm hoping to update again soon before having to return to campus and my evil classes._

_Please Review!_


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Zechs didn't come by again and Duo severely warned him that he wouldn't be welcome back in the apartment until his manners returned to him. Duo was still annoyed that Zechs had the nerve to say those things to me and even though he was only trying to bait me, it still hurt. The ache that settled in my chest after he said all those things slowly eased with Duo's help, but I still worried that what he said was true. That I wasn't good enough for Duo.

Of course, I couldn't let Duo know that I was thinking that. I had worried him enough just from being rattled by Zechs. He couldn't understand why Zechs' words got to me so badly and yet tried to reassure me as best he could that Zechs' words were lies. He told me dozens of times over how much I meant to him and it helped. It really did. But there was still this fear deep down inside of me that told me to be cautious. No matter how much I loved Duo and trusted him, I just couldn't stop feeling like one day my new life would just disappear and I would be back to the cold emptiness that J had made for me.

I needed to stop thinking about it, but it was so difficult. Even when I was making deliveries with Duo and working for Howard. No one ever said anything to me when I drifted deep within my thoughts. Although, Duo has a tendency to think I'm shy when we meet new people that need deliveries. It could account for him not catching on sooner and even now as Duo pulls up to a new house, I'm feeling that ache.

Maybe it's just butterflies like Duo says. My stomach feels all fluttery and queasy as I lift the package and Duo gets the clipboard and forms ready. He has that smile on his face that tries to lighten my expression and I attempt to return a weak smile, but he accepts it none the less. We approach the door and Duo knocks since my hands are full. After three knocks, I begin to wonder if anyone is even home.

"Huh? That's weird! Hey! Is anybody in there? I've got a package here for you, so open up the door please?" Duo hollers at the closed door. We wait a few more minutes and yet there is no one coming.

"Maybe there isn't anyone home." I state as I set the package down next to my feet.

"I guess not. You would think they would hear me by now if they were though. I guess we'll just have to stop by on our run tomorrow." Duo gave the door a few more knocks before shrugging and starting to head back to the van. I picked up the package and followed him, and returned it to where it was kept for the ride. Then hopped into the passenger side and buckled up as Duo put the van into gear and we started the trip back to Howard's.

"That was just weird. The order came in today, there should be someone home to get it. The guy's a vet after all!"

"He is? Who is he?" Duo picked up the order form.

"Doctor Herve. He specializes in animal care and genetic mutations according to Howard. He wants to experiment on fruit fly larva which is in the package. Apparently, he wants to see how many crossbreeds he can come up with. It's an odd hobby if you ask me, but it's his work, so I can't complain. I hope Howard doesn't mind storing them for an extra day. We couldn't just leave them on the porch after all."

No, we couldn't. I think to myself as we head back. Howard won't mind having an extra package around, but it's still odd. The supposed butterflies have eased a bit as we turn into the warehouse's parking garage and Duo parks near a bunch of other vans that are taken out for deliveries.

I look around and spot Wufei and Hilde arguing once again. They hardly ever stop but they both take it in stride. I honestly think they enjoy arguing with one another because it's always interesting. Well, that and neither one wants to let the other get the last word in.

Duo goes to tell Howard about the extra package as I clock us out and grab our things to take home in our car. Quatre has been so busy lately that we needed another car for us to use instead of just borrowing Quatre's all the time. Technically, it's Duo's car now, even though I paid for it. It was a present for Duo and he was happy to have it.

As I watch Duo walk back over to me, I can't help but think that Duo is really mine or at least he's with me. I need to keep reminding myself that Zechs words don't matter because Duo is still by my side at the end of the day. He's not running off with someone else, he's just... with me.

"Howard said the package should be fine for another day. It isn't so urgent that it absolutely needs to be at the doctor's house tonight."

"Well, that's good to hear." I reply as Duo hops into the car and turns on the heat. It's still winter and still very chilly out. It's always a struggle for us to get out of bed in the morning. Once our feet hits the cold tile of the bathroom there is no going back to bed. It's one of the best and worst ways to get fully awake in the morning. Duo thinks I'm masochistic some days for it since I drag him in the bathroom with me and he gets my daily torture treatment to face the day. Although, even while we're heading home the cold wind whips around us as Duo drives us back to the apartment.

We park in our spot and try to get in the door as fast as we can to avoid the chill and it's funny to watch Duo as he almost falls on his ass in his haste. I giggle as I tug his arm and pull him inside the warm building.

"You know one of these days someone is going to invent a retractable insulated roof so we don't need to have our noses fall off just to get into our place."

"Maybe if you wore more clothes it wouldn't be a problem," I chided.

"Oh ha ha ha, the mighty Heero has spoken. Just where did you pick that up from? Trowa's list of one-liners?"

I just shook my head and tugged him up the stairs to our door. "At least Trowa bundles up every time he comes over."

"Yeah well, I'm not Trowa and I don't get sick so there. Ngh!" Duo said and stuck out his tongue at me. I just had to laugh at his antics. Sure, he was warm enough when we were running packages because he had our delivery coats on, but when we were leaving he just slipped into his old leather coat and that just wasn't enough to stand up to the cold weather.

We got into the apartment fast enough though and Duo stood next to the vent warming up his gloved hands as I locked the door behind us.

"Should I start dinner? Or do you want take-out?" I asked as I looked at the contents of our fridge. There wasn't a lot of things in there since we didn't get a chance to go grocery shopping lately, but I could still make something decent out of what we had.

"Whichever you want to do is fine with me. I'll just be happy to eat something."

"All right." I looked over what we had once more then decided that take-out was probably faster and there wouldn't be too much to clean up either. I order some Chinese food for the both of us and then order some extra just in case Quatre was hungry when he got home. We didn't have to wait very long and by the time I was paying the man and placing the food containers out on the table Duo had emerged from the shower, warm, fresh, and clean.

We ate out of each others cartons when we wanted to taste what each of us had and watched the news, then I took my shower as Duo cleaned up and got ready for bed. When I walked out of the bathroom, Duo was waiting for me beneath the covers. I did one last nightly round as I checked that the door was locked and secured before turning in with Duo and snuggled into his warm, peaceful embrace.

The morning, however was anything but peaceful. I awoke to Duo coughing up a lung and saw that his face was a watery mess. He even sounded completely plugged up as he blew his nose and tried to wipe away the watery streams that were trailing out of his eyes. His nose was bright red and he felt too warm to the touch, yet he claimed to have the chills and I hurried to get more blankets for him. He tried to thank me but talking ended up with him coughing once again so I just told him that I knew what he was trying to say and to stop trying to speak. He passed out a few moments later and I decided to call Howard and tell him that Duo was too sick to do a delivery route today.

He picked up on the second ring and sounded pretty cheerful until I told him about Duo.

"I knew that boy wasn't wearing enough clothes when he left yesterday. It's all his fault for being so thick headed and wanting to look cool rather than take care of himself. Why if I was his father I would slap him upside the head for being such an idiot..." Howard continued to rant until I reminded him of why I was calling and he stopped his rant all at once.

"Sorry. I think I got a bit carried away, Heero."

"That's okay Howard. I just needed to tell you that Duo can't work today."

"Well, of course he can't. Not with a blazin' cold that you tell me he has! This couldn't come at a worse time though. I need you boys to do your deliveries today. We're booked solid and nothing can be put on hold or given to Wufei and Hilde. They're overloaded as it is. There's just too much today."

"I could still drive the van, Howard." I told him even though I didn't want to leave Duo alone, it sounded like Howard was really in a bind and I wasn't sick so I could still make the deliveries happen.

"You mean you can still do it. What about Duo?"

"I'll call Quatre and tell him what's going on. Maybe he can take a day off and watch Duo. Do you mind if I set that all up before I come in?"

"Hell no, Heero. Do what you need to do and I'll see you when you clock in. Later."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and went to make Duo some warm tea and dialed Quatre while the kettle was set to boil. He took the news well and told me to get to work, he could be home by lunch time and if not he'd send Trowa over to sit with Duo. I was grateful for it and told him so. He just laughed and said friends took care of each other then we both hung up and I got ready to tell Duo the news and get ready for work.

Duo took it rather well as I dressed and he sipped his tea. He understood and just told me to be careful, then blew me a kiss and wished me well off as I headed out the door.

Howard debriefed me on everything that needed to go out and where it needed to be sent. It wasn't all that hard and I even remembered that I needed to take the doctor's package with me. Then I was in the van, out the gate, and on my way to make all the deliveries.

Most of them went pretty quickly. Everyone was home to accept their packages and signed for them. I was nearly down by the end of the day and only had one more package left. The one for Doctor Herve.

His name sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn't remember how or why. As I stepped up to the door I noticed how small the house was and quite dingy on the outside. I found myself wondering if the inside was just as bad, but chased those thoughts away as I knocked on the door.

There was no answer, just like there wasn't one when we came the other day. I knocked again before turning back towards the van thinking that I just might have to tell Howard that the package just couldn't be delivered since no one was home when the door popped open and I was wrapped in a pair of strong, well built arms and pulled inside. I just couldn't get my bearings fast enough and the door was shut before I even knew it. Those arms carried me over to a chair with straps hanging all over it just like one that J... One like J had used on me before!

I tried to turn my head but a sharp smack across my cheek prevented it and another blow blind sided me as my vision went black and it was suddenly too hard to keep my eyes open. The last thing I heard was a high nasal voice say to someone else in the room, "And you said he'd be to hard to catch." Right before my vision went black all over again and I could sense nothing.

TBC...

Sorry, I've been gone so long. But please review, otherwise I won't know what you think of the chapter. Thank you.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Warning: This chapter is violent, has NCS, and is not for the weak hearted! Proceed at your own risk! Don't say I didn't warn you!**

xoxoxoxoxoxox

I woke up some time later with wires, IV's, and scan pads hooked up to all kinds of monitors that displayed my vital signs. Whoever had captured me still had me strapped down so I couldn't move at all, no matter how much I tried. I wondered as I laid there, what they wanted with me. I had no clue who they were or what they wanted. What could they possibly need with me?

"I see that you're still struggling to get out of those, but you won't be able to do it. Those have been reinforced several times over and were made just for you. J really did a number on your DNA. I walking work of art, yet not used to the standards you were supposed to be."

"You knew J?" I asked as I took the man in. He was older with a nasal voice and had a mask that covered his nose and part of his mouth. He sneered at me while he thought up his answer.

"Of course I knew J. I was his colleague for so many years until he stole parts of my work to create you! You, who he kept all to himself and made you his personal whore! You don't look so broken in now, but perhaps we can change that."

I felt my body tighten at his words. I didn't want to go back to that. Didn't want anything that J had done to me repeated again. Not when I had Duo. DUO!

If they knew about Duo would they do things like that to him? NO! I wouldn't let them! Their hands couldn't be allowed to touch him. He was too beautiful. He was mine!

"You look like you want to rip my throat out for saying that. Don't worry your head off just yet. I have so much better things to try out on you first." I glared at him as he picked up a pad and noted my vitals, then went over to a tray that I hadn't noticed until he picked up a syringe. "You might find this to be an eye opener, or the source of losing your mind. But I can't be sure until it's tested and you're the perfect specimen to try it out on."

He stepped closer and tapped the vein in my arm until it rose for him then looked me in the eye. "It's not every day that the Heero becomes my ZERO!" Then he injected me with whatever was in the syringe and laughed as my body began to twitch. The injection site burned and as the serum worked its way in my veins it burned a trail of fire that I had never felt. My skin felt like it was a blaze and my stomach clenched as I struggled to free myself. The bindings cutting into my arms, legs, and chest as I thrashed, wanting to get free! Needing to get out of where ever I was being kept. My ears started to hurt and ring as I moved, then my head filled with all these thoughts and theories.

Things I didn't understand.

They didn't make any sense to me at all.

But nothing was worse until my vision went white then deepened into dark crimson red. Blood red. It was then that the visions started. I need to call them visions because no where in my mind are images that horrible.

There were bodies surrounding me. Their limbs were missing and their throats cut open. Some of them had their bellies sliced where I could see all their entrails spilling out onto the floor before me. They were everywhere, both sexes, men, women, and children all slaughtered before me. There were women laying down and clutching their stomachs where tiny babies could be seen. Their spines revealed and severed. They were stillborn, never allowed to develop or live even as their mothers cried for them and screamed with agony that I had never heard be uttered by human lips.

It was sick and twisted and yet I couldn't look away. I couldn't escape and when I tried to cover my eyes, I saw the blood that covered my hands. My hands that weren't really mine, yet they were attached to me. With those hands I had killed everyone that covered the floor. I could turn into this monster that killed the innocent and hacked all their limbs off. I could have done this terrible deed and not realized it.

My body shivered as I sank to my knees. The voices inside my head screaming at me that I had done this. It was all my fault they had to die. I was the only one to blame, because I was created to do this.

If I had just come when I was needed and did all that was asked of me this wouldn't have had to happen. It was my fault that everyone was dead. My hands had done this to them. I killed them. I had destroyed their lives and ended ones that barely began.

I was a monster. My soul was stained black and no one could want me now. Not even Duo.

Zechs had been right! I was hideous! Who could ever want me? Surely not Duo. Duo who was light where I was darkness. There was nothing to be desired in me. I was a black sheep. I was forsaken by everyone. Not even those who said they were my friends could mean it. My purpose was to be used. To be a weapon that destroyed the evils before they could do their deeds. It made me less of a monster if I did all that I was told. If I really wanted to make the world a better place.

I would lose Duo though. He couldn't be around me. He couldn't love me, the monster. It was a mistake. A mistake that I needed to fix by leaving him. By making myself repulsive to him. Instructions filled my head then, telling me what to do so I was no longer desirable.

I shook my head not wanting to listen, but then a softer voice came. One that was sweeter and was comforting. I didn't know the voice but its tone made me listen to it.

It told me that if I wanted to stop all this I would have to listen to it. I really didn't want to, but I did it all the same. The voice told me to hunt down those that hurt others. They were the ones that made people hurt and betray the ones they loved. They were the ones who needed to pay with their lives. It told me what to do. It told me who to find and what to do. I listened as it told me and as I did, I could hear other voices around me.

"Is it working?"

"When he comes out of the training, we'll know for sure."

"But how will we know if the drug manipulation has taken full effect?"

"Voice coding will make him do what we want, but I think we should test it before we let the specimen go out to do our work."

"How will we do that?"

"Just watch. ZERO, get out of the chair." The new voice told me my order as the softer voice told me it was okay. I should listen to this new voice and do everything. "Listen to me. Your friend who you came to my house with is no longer your friend. Sever ties with him and ditch the van you came in then come back here. Do as I say and you won't be punished."

"Yes." I said and did as the voice said and stood up out of the chair and walked through the house. Everything I took in with my eyes calculated and analyzed. Nothing was a threat to me at the moment as I went outside, got in the van and made my way towards Duo. It was dark outside now as I pulled into a parking space and shut the van off. I would leave it here. Duo would need it, I no longer had any use for it.

As I made my way up the stairs, I listened for voices. There were none. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door, stepping into the kitchen and looking around to see any activity that might be going on. My surroundings told me this was where I needed to be. I needed to sever my ties here and leave.

As I made my way through the house, I looked over the magazines strewn about, the empty tea cups left on the coffee table. I took them into the kitchen, cleaning the living room up a bit like I would have, then made my way to Duo's room. I opened the door and saw him sleeping in the bed. He looked so peaceful. I wanted to join him and snuggle up with him. I needed to touch him, feel him, maybe even... be in him.

I stepped closer to him, his scent was heavy in my nose telling me he didn't shower today and also that he was very weak. That thought excited me for some reason. Why would it? I loved Duo, so why would I...

_Take him... He wants your touch... He needs your touch... Feel him... Taste him... Rape him... _

My hand ripped away the blankets by itself as my eyes took in the fact that Duo hadn't worn anything to sleep in.

_See how he teases you... You should take him... He's probably all ready for you... All prepared for you, just for you... _

I parted his legs and found his opening. It looked like it glistened just like the rest of him. His body covered in a light sheen of sweat. It made him so very tempting.

"Heero? What are you doing?" Duo asked me in a raspy voice. I looked up at him and he looked ready for me. Ready for me to make him scream.

"I'm taking you." I told him matter-of-factly. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little.

"Heero, I'm sick. I can't tonight." He told me shaking his head a bit, but the voice told me he was playing hard to get.

"You're ready for me. Don't lie." I told him and shoved two of my fingers in his heat. He felt so soft, so warm.

"Heero," he gasped. "That hurts. Stop!" I could barely hear him as the voice got louder and louder inside my head.

_See how he resists you? The little cock tease, how dare he deny you. You have every right to take him. He's yours, prove that to him. Don't listen to his screams... He wants it. Give it to him!_

I listened to the voice's encouragement even as I watched Duo's face scrunch up in agony. I was hurting him I needed to stop, but my fingers kept pounding into him, kept stretching him wide, my nails scratching up his insides.

"Heero please! Please stop! It hurts! You're hurting me!"

_Cover his mouth so no one can hear you and take him already!_

I did as the voice said and spread Duo's legs wider, removed my fingers, unzipped my pants and thrust home. I buried deep inside him hard and fast, feeling his warmth, loving his inner heat and feeling what it was like for the first time. It was amazing! It felt incredible.

So why was it that Duo had tears streaming down his face? Why did he look like he was sobbing? Why was he trying to push me off of him rather than pull me close? Why did this feel so wrong even as I came to orgasm and shoved myself deep inside him?

As I caught my breath and pulled out of him Duo curled into a ball and laid on his side. I could see the semen leaking out of him, but mixed in it was blood. His blood!

_He's truly yours now. His blood is on you and you claimed him like he needed to be claimed. He's such a whore! Tell him that._

I shook my head to clear it, but the voice insisted. Duo wasn't a whore! He was mine!

_NO! He's a whore! Forget about him! You did what needed to be done now leave him! He is not in your mission. He no longer matters any more!_

But he does! I wanted to scream back at the voice. I wanted to stop hearing it! 'I won't listen.' I yelled to it, and it went silent. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I thought it was gone.

Until pain like I had never felt ran through my body and made me double over and clutch my belly and chest. It felt like my heart was going to explode. My stomach churned and made me feel like I was going to throw up and the voice came back and screamed at me.

_TELL HIM HE'S A WHORE! TELL HIM HE IS NOTHING TO YOU ANYMORE AND LEAVE HIM! YOU DON'T NEED HIM ANY LONGER..YOU DON'T WANT HIM ANYLONGER AND YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE HIM. SO SAY GOODBYE!_

I said it all to him. I said it and I turned to leave, the pain easing, but my heart felt like it was breaking. The last thing I saw as I left the room was Duo staring at me in disbelief and pain. A pain that I had caused him, that probably would never heal.

I walked back to the doctors and told them of my mission. They commended me on a job well done and sent me off to a room that had been made up for me. As I lay on the cot, I thought back to Duo's face. The sight of him, brought on pain, but in my heart I knew I had hurt him worse than anyone ever had.

As I curled up tight in my bed, I thought to myself, was this really what I was supposed to become? And even as the voice whispered how good I was, I couldn't agree, because my heart ached and there was no way to fix it.

TBC...

A very dark chapter indeed. For those of you who could bear to read it, I just want you to know it's a part of the journey and must be said. Not everything in life is kind and this story is not all about love and kindness. I hope you stick around and please review!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

xoxoxoxoxoxox

I don't know how long they gave me to rest. All I know was that it wasn't for very long. They wanted me awake to run a few experiments and all the while, the voice told me it was all right. It would all be over soon.

There were a bunch of vials of blood, hair, nail, urine, and skin samples that they took from me. Each one treated more delicately than the first yet, they weren't afraid to hurt me in order to obtain them. Their love of science was so much greater than any compassion they held for me.

Me their weapon.

They had me do endurance tests on machines that were stationed many floors under the basement. It was a lab of some sort and it seemed like they had everything at their disposal.

In the corner was a tank filled with water that they made me swim in, then hold my breath for as long as I could. They were pleased with my being able to stay under for almost five minutes, but then talked excitedly amongst themselves that if they increased the dosage I'd be able to hold my breath even longer than most divers.

For some reason, I couldn't understand what they were talking about. What dosage were they referring to? Would it make me carry out my missions more efficiently? I waited for them to calm down and when they did, they made me head off for another test.

It was many hours later that they fed me. Only the most nutritious nourishment for me, so I could get even stronger. One of the doctors told me to follow the chart he had handed me earlier that day to the letter. I needed to take in as many vitamins and minerals possible, since my health could not be jeopardized in any way. I nodded affirmatively and read through the chart as I finished my meal.

The chart laid out everything I was to do for the week, what to eat with my meals and the order I should take them in. It was all specific and he didn't make any room for me to protest. Not that I would.

My mission was given to me and I could not fail it. Failure to comply meant death and death was final.

With my meal ending, I was shown the dosage the doctors talked about earlier. Each day I had to take so many capsules to stimulate more muscle and bone growth. Some of the capsules were to enhance my blood flow, build up my immune defenses, and some how allow me to see so much better than my fellow man.

It didn't seem possible, but they reassured me that they all should work and to not disobey their commands.

I yielded to them and took the capsules for them then was shown my daily recommended exercising regimen.

It was intense and thrilling, although I wished that I could go outside. I was not used to being trapped inside, or being with these strangers. The voice said it was all right and so it was. I just couldn't seem to comprehend why I didn't want to be with them and let the voice soothe me as I did what I was asked.

My body was changing. Every experiment, every test, I passed perfectly. I wasn't even winded when they were finished and that made me worried even as the doctors celebrated.

What was there to celebrate? I was alone.

I had lost the light that fate had given me by the voice that was always speaking to me inside my head.

I wanted it out!

I wanted it gone, but it wasn't to be.

The doctors were making more plans for me to help me become what they believed would be their perfect weapon. I couldn't point out to them that J had already altered me when I was young and had already made me into his perfect solider. J had altered me without my consent, but had also broken my spirit so I could not rebel.

It seemed as though these doctors were trying to control my mind. The voice never stopped speaking to me and how I longed for the voice to belong to someone completely different.

A someone that was mine, but now could never be again.

I had hurt him even though it was my mission. A lover who hurt his soul mate could never truly say that they loved the other completely.

I did.

I had. Even if that moment seemed so brief now. There was no going back.

Duo probably hated me.

I had betrayed him, used him, and hurt him just by loving him because it was commanded of me.

Was the sacrifice of one man worth the price many would have to pay?

I couldn't answer that. My mind was already placed in one kind of hell. What difference would it make if others joined me in it as well?

The doctors probably wouldn't like that kind of thought. They didn't want me to question them, which was the only reason my questions have been unanswered. Doubt in my abilities would be their first notion and even then, they would probably up my dosages even higher if I made a recommendation.

The voice told me to stay quiet and it was safer that way. I wouldn't get into trouble and the doctors wouldn't suspect anything. I just needed to do their bidding and make sure I did everything right.

I couldn't fail or they would know something went wrong. My objective was straightforward and failure not an option.

"Zero. Stand down and go to your quarters. You are relieved for the rest of the day." Doctor H called to me from his desk. He was cataloging my results again and looked pretty happy with them. I could only think to myself that everything was satisfactory and hadn't been flawed in any way due to his good mood.

Doctor S however, looked me over with a critical eye. He was much nicer than H and put me at ease when H's orders didn't make sense. He was kind, but was also strict. I guess he just needed to be for his own sake.

S lead me back to my room and handed me another chart to look over. This new one had a checklist of what I had done during the day and asked me to rate my performance.

I had no choice but to give a definite answer, and chose to be brutally honest.

I thought I needed more improvement and when I told the Doctor so he said he'd review my regimen as soon as he was able. He asked me for suggestions and I asked if I was allowed to do weight training. He told me it wouldn't hurt and he could add it to the regimen as soon as the next day. S then bid me goodnight and went to join H looking over my results.

I took in my surroundings as I approached my quarters. They looked so barren. Nothing like the room I had shared with Duo. There were no personal touches. The clothes I was allowed to wear were kept in a trunk underneath my bed. A small bathroom was across the hall from me of the same barren nature as my room. It felt like I was in a cell rather than a room.

But what would a weapon need with personal comforts?

_Personal comforts will make you soft. They make you weak. Don't think about them! _The voice told me.

I listened as it told me that I needed to stay focused. I couldn't become distracted by things my heart wanted. My mind needed to stay sharp and on the work at hand. I couldn't think of what I had lost. I needed to understand what was happening now.

If only it were that easy.

TBC...

Please review!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

xoxoxoxoxoxox

It was several weeks later, when most of my training had been completed that I was told my new assignment. H was thrilled with my performance scores. They were higher than any that J had ever recorded. The drug therapy was working and my body was well muscled and compact. My vitamin supplements and nutrition regimen had been updated to keep up with my increased metabolism.

Yet, there was this yearning inside of me that told me I needed to get back to Duo. The urge kept growing as the days past but every time the doctors gave me my daily doses the urge would quiet down until my body used up the formulas and the urge rose up again.

I didn't dare tell the doctors about the urge. They would try to find some way to suppress it and I didn't want that. I wanted to listen to it and try to understand why it was telling me this.

H was more involved in his discussion with S to notice my attention had wavered. They were discussing how to introduce me to the vice foreign minister. My thoughts were jumbled because of the mission objective of all things. H and S wanted me to become a bodyguard to the vice foreign minister. Apparently, he needed a bodyguard after an attack and was taking recruits or at least his already intense bodyguards were looking for someone new.

H apparently thought this was the perfect opportunity to try out my new skills and see how well I faired in group settings once again. I wasn't too sure about his plans. He seemed too happy with them and S looked worried more often than not.

There was no telling what H had come up with and hadn't told me yet. I decide to remain on guard for the time being. I couldn't trust anyone anymore, not even myself.

xoxoxoxox

The next day came much more quickly than I liked. H told me to do my exercises and take my supplements which I always did every morning. When I was finished he called me over to his work station and laid out a plan for me. He had already called ahead to the vice foreign minister's secretary and had set up an interview for me to attend. Nodding, I went to get ready in the suit S had prepared for me. They both lead me to a car that I had not seen before and told me to arrive at ten o'clock sharp and return once I was guaranteed the job. I nodded and got into the car and set out for my mission.

My arrival at the building was nothing to brag about. The security was tight and when I had told the guards at the door I was there for an interview, they told me where to go after checking if I was cleared. I had been and they let me go. I met with the secretary and she told me to go into the office. I thought it strange at first but upon entering I saw all the guards within waiting for me to take a seat. The vice foreign minister wasn't there in body though. There was a vid set up for a call so I could see him and he could see me, but there couldn't be a threat on his person due to the set up. It was a wise decision.

"I regret to meet with you like this, but it cannot be helped. I want to meet with anyone who would like to have the opportunity to have the available position in my bodyguard unit."

"I can understand your reluctance to meet in the flesh sir. It would not be safe for you to do so if per chance an assassin came in to try to hurt you at an interview." I stated even as the guards took in my words and stance. I tried to appear as non-threatening as I could and waited for his reply.

He chuckled and smiled. "That is very perceptive of you and you're quite right. I've seen your resume, it looks very well established. However, let me ask you this. Are you prepared to die for your charge?"

"I'd die to protect you, sir." He nodded and smiled at me.

"Very good. Then if you have no complaints, I'll have you on a trial based bodyguard for my daughter Relena."

That took me by surprise. "Your daughter sir?"

"Quite right. Relena is getting to that age where she doesn't like to trail her father around. She often wanders off by herself and that just isn't safe for her sake or mine. I would like you to look after her starting tomorrow morning and escort her where ever she wants to go. She'll be having a ceremony in a few weeks and will need the extra protection around her. I don't want anything to happen to my daughter Heero, and I should hope you feel the same way."

"I take my duties very seriously sir. I won't disappoint you."

"That's a good lad. Walker. Please introduce Mr. Yuy here to Relena. I want them to be introduced before they head out tomorrow."

"Yes sir. Mr. Yuy? Please come with me." I nodded to the man and turned to nod at Mr. Darlain as I now knew him.

"Thank you sir." He waved me off.

"If you have any questions ask any of my staff. They are always well informed."

"I will. Good day." Walker was waiting for me at the door and as I walked towards him he lead me down the hall.

"As you know, I'm Walker and it's a good to have a new face join our team."

"Thank you. I'm glad I got the job." He smiled as we continued to walk.

"Our first stop is to issue you uniforms while you are out in the job. This means that if you are on official guard duty you must dress accordingly. However, since Relena will be your charge, you will have to look more like her boyfriend than a guard to protect her."

That snapped me out for a moment. I had to appear to be her what?

"Excuse me. Maybe I heard you incorrectly? Did you say I would need to appear to be her consort?"

"Yes. You won't really be. Mr. Darlain would have you fired immediately if you were caught fraternizing with his daughter."

"I would do no such thing. I can assure you. I'm not interested in prospective bed partners. I only want to do my job and that is all."

"Then be sure to clear that with Relena the first thing. She comes on strong and has a grip like a lobster once she sinks her claws into you and you've somehow struck her fancy."

"I'll keep that in mind." It seemed odd that he would tell me such a thing, but perhaps he had been on the receiving end of this Relena's fancy once before. "Has she done that to you?"

"Oh yes! When we first met, but I explained to her our working relationship and she eventually calmed down to accept it."

"How long?" I wondered if this girl was worth all the trouble, but I couldn't fail my mission. H and S wouldn't let me.

"About nine months, when she set her sights on some other poor man. She really gets smitten with her guards, so watch your back and everything else." He winked and stopped in front of a door. We walked in and Walker told the man we needed uniforms for me. He looked at me wanting to verify my size. I told him and he nodded and went into a room through a door behind him and came back out with five plastic wrapped uniforms. I thanked him and Walker lead me out the door once again.

"Be sure to arrive here on time and dress according to whatever event you need to attend. You'll be given a locker to store one of your uniforms just in case an event gets changed and you need to switch your uniform. It doesn't happen often, but you never know what could happen and it's safer than having to run back home and get a point on your record for tardiness."

I nodded as he explained the rules of what was allowed and what wasn't. Walker was a good source of information and I knew everything I heard would come in handy and logged it in my mind for safe keeping.

Most of what he told me made sense and I would be a fool to ignore his suggestions. The voice inside my head was being good today and was more subdued than it ever was, which was a surprise. I think it mostly had to do with my complete focus on Walker's voice and suggestions. The voice in my head didn't seem to feel the need to speak up or point out a flaw in what he said. It made me happy that nothing seemed to be out of place and the urge to see Duo today seemed to stop as well.

"We're going to meet Relena when she comes out of the board meeting. She's nearly as busy as her father anymore. How about we escort her to lunch once she's finished?"

"It will probably be the best way to get to know her. As long as it isn't against the rules?"

"Not at all. You'll be escorting her nearly everywhere in the next few weeks as long as everything goes well at this initial meeting. Ah! Here she comes now."

I watched as the door we were near opened and a bunch of people filled out. Walker called out to a honey blond girl in a light pink suit, who could only be Relena. But the man walking next to her also noticed my presence and as he looked at me I saw his eyes widen.

It was unmistakable who this person was with his light blond hair and expressive blue-green eyes.

A ghost from my not so forgotten past.

Quatre Winner.

TBC...

xxxx

Sorry to cut it off there readers, but it was a good place to stop.

I hope you enjoyed reading and five reviews until next update! So please review and I'll get on with the fic. See ya!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

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I felt the blood in my veins turn to ice at the sight of Quatre. The voice in my head was quickly telling me not to panic, to just remember my raining and act like I didn't know the blond man from my past. Walker didn't seem to notice how I froze and was quickly making introductions between myself, Relena, and Quatre. Quatre just shook my hand and pretended to be pleasant but I knew he was probably seething inside. If I were in his place I probably would be too. 

"Excuse me Walker, but why is Heero here?" Quatre asked innocently. He seemed to be sizing me up as well as if I were a threat that needed to be dealt with effective immediately. 

"He's here to escort Miss Relena Darlain for his new position as her body guard. The Vice foreign Minister is very concerned for his daughter's well being and we needed a new bodyguard to protect her." Walker answered in kind.

"Father is always worried Quatre, he just means well. I'm sure we'll get along fine Heero. My father must like you if he's making you meet me here." She smiled at the both of us seeming to sense that Quatre was wary of me. 

"It is an honor for me to meet you, Miss Relena." I bowed and allowed a small smile to spread across my lips. I had to win her over in order to complete my mission. I could not fail. Unfortunately, Quatre seemed to feel the need to have some say in the matter.

"I'm sure all is fine then. Walker might I talk to Heero in private for a moment. I would like to hear about his previous bodyguard positions."

"Certainly. Heero meet us by the car. Please come with me Miss Relena." With that said they left and Quatre was quickly tugging at my elbow as he approached his own car. Quickly, looking around to see if anyone could overhear us Quatre turned to me with murder in his eyes. 

"How dare you Heero! What is the meaning of this and what the hell have you been doing? You raped Duo when he was so sick and up and leave him! What is wrong with you? Where the fuck did you go for so long? Was Duo just an amusement to you? Did you sit and laugh behind all our backs when you left after how we've cared for you? Are you such a cold blooded asshole that you don't care who you hurt just as long as it's for your own good?" Quatre hissed at me and getting redder in the face after all the accusations he threw at me. 

"I didn't want to do that to him or leave him Quatre. The voice made me do that to him. I have no choice but to obey." I calmly told him and he suddenly looked ill. 

"What voice?" He sneered.

"The one the doctors put inside my head. It tells me to obey them to do what I'm told and if I don't the voice gets louder and hurts me. It hurts so much when I don't obey. It made me severe ties with Duo, even though I didn't want to. It told me it needed to be done for the sake of my mission amongst other things." 

The voice suddenly screamed at me to stop, telling Quatre was a breach in security and he could be compromised. Quatre took what I said but his hatred for me that was in his eyes didn't clear for a minute. He didn't feel sorry for me. He thought I was a threat to those he loved.

I was. I wouldn't deny it and I told him as much.

"I've said too much already. I must get back to my post." I turned to leave but Quatre grabbed me one more time. 

"Heero. If what you said was true, then you aren't doing this because you want to?" I shook my head. "Does Duo still mean anything to you?"

"Yes. But I fear that I have ruined things beyond any repair. I wish I could apologize to him and take everything I did back, but it's too late. I know he hates me and that's the way it must be to keep him away from harm." I turned then and went to join Walker and Relena, leaving Quatre standing stunned by his car. The voice was shrieking at me, but I ignored it. It made me lose my friends and my lover, all because of my mission. A mission I never wanted in the first place, but I one I couldn't get away from just yet. 

xoxoxox

Walker told me my duties while Relena seemed to be flirting with me the entire time. Walker seemed rather amused by this but I took it in and was set to not return her affections. She was just a protected target, nothing more. I could see that she was pretty, in a naïve sort of way, nothing at all like my Duo had been. Duo was too stunning for words to describe him, but I could no longer be in his presence. I wondered if Quatre told Duo about me, but the thought hurt as well. 

I could just imagine Duo balling his eyes out and telling Quatre what he told Duo was lies and then finally realize it for the truth it was. I had no doubts in my mind that I had hurt him far worse than anyone ever had before. Even Zechs and Hilde never hurt Duo as much as me. Maybe Zechs was taking advantage of Duo's heartbreak right now.

I felt the anger spill over me and make my eyes go red. The voice was silent, probably not understanding the rage that I suddenly felt, but as it consumed me I realized very suddenly I did not have an outlet for the rage I felt. I was not in a place I could just lash out without raising suspicion. Especially while I was on the job with Relena and Walker. So taking a few deep breaths I let the rage subside and came back into myself as Relena asked me some questions about myself. They were all lies, but she didn't know that. It was just a practiced lie H made me recite until I could speak it as if it were truth. 

The rest of the car ride was uneventful and I stood my post while Relena prepared for her meeting. I made a mental note to myself that if I saw Zechs anytime soon and he said anything negative about Duo I would kill him in the slowest most painful way I possible could and the voice supplied me with ideas and images of how I could do it. 

The rest of the day, I spent going through the pros and cons of each way I could think of while my charge ran to her meetings and I remained her vigilant bodyguard, leaving her very much unaware of my darker thoughts. 

When I was relieved of my duties and debriefed about what I need to do the next day, I returned to the doctors and told them of my success. They were very pleased and let me go into my training room for as long as I needed to that night until my body craved rest. 

My mind however couldn't stop running around in circle as the voice yelled at me for not telling them about Quatre. I ignored it and didn't crack underneath the pain it sent me. It was the price I had to pay for betraying my friends and I deserved it. But to reveal them to the doctors of their importance to me and make me seek them out and hurt them worse by having the voice make me tell the doctors about Quatre, Duo, and Trowa, would betray them. I couldn't do that no matter how much the voice disapproved. I wouldn't sell out my friends and if I had to die to protect them, so be it.

TBC...


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

xoxoxoxoxoxox

'BANG! BANG! BANG!'

That was the first sound my aching head registered that morning when I returned to base. It had been a week later after seeing Quatre and my doctors were still testing me for everything they possibly could. The voice still wasn't happy with me after my conversation with Quatre and sent my mind spiraling as I went through my early morning routines before I had to go meet with Relena. She was a nice enough girl but I couldn't help but notice how she would lean toward me when it wasn't necessary to and made sure her father allowed her to go to any political events that were going on just so I had to stay at her side.

I thought at first she was a bit dense, making sure she was always seen and even going so far as to wanting to go about and patrol the crowds with me at one of the events I had guarded her at the week before. The other men on the unit told me it was just the way she was, a bit of an airhead and naïve for even her age. I thought she was a nuisance and definitely needed the protection just the same as anyone, but due to the fact she was a Vice Foreign Minister's daughter made her more knowledgeable to those that weren't too keen on her father's ideals.

I had to snicker at myself for all the things she had done to her guards in the past. She seemed to always develop a crush on whoever was guarding her for the time being, but what was even more frightening was the fact that the men thought she was trying to win me over more than any of them had ever seen her do. There was just no way she could though, I still loved Duo even though he probably thought I was the scum of the earth by now. After what I had done to him, I couldn't blame him. He had every reason to hate me now, if I ever had the chance to apologize to him, I would make sure he knew that I had never wanted to hurt him that way or any way for that matter. Still... it was in the past now. I had my duties and Duo had probably got on with his life like he should have.

H was waiting for me as I finished up on the bench press and handed me a towel to wipe the sweat off my face. He seemed more pleased than I had ever seen him be with my results, so before he even spoke I knew he had something to tell me that I wasn't going to like.

"ZERO, how are you doing today?" He smiled at me giving me time to answer even though a reply was no where near what I wanted to say to him, but I knew better. So I simply shrugged. He took it as an answer though and continued on without a care. "Well, I am glad you are fine. I have a new assignment for you. One that I think will help us gain what we are trying for just in a better direction than before. I want you to get closer to your charge. Seduce her, fuck her, do whatever you have to but gain her trust in you as much as you can. I want her to confide in you everything she can possibly tell you without raising suspicions." I nodded thinking H was done with me and prepared to leave for my shower. "Hold on for one more moment, there is one more detail that I need you to take care of. Once all her secrets are revealed to you, kill her at the most opportune time. That'll be all ZERO."

H left me then and the voice raised it poisonous head and began to make all kinds of plans that I took note of while in the back of my mind laid a part of me that wanted the rest of me to wake up from the nightmare H and S were making me live through. It wept bitterly for not having the will to make the rest of me listen to it as the sinister voice gave me suggestions and I threw out the ones that wouldn't work and considered the other ones that had the possibility of having the best success of completing my set task.

Needless to say I knew it would take a while to learn all of the girl's secrets but that just meant she got to live for a bit longer until she was no longer useful to me.

xxxx

Three weeks had passed and I was growing more irritated the longer I spent with the girl. She was still as annoying as ever and even though she told me many things of relevance, she still proved to be useful at times. The fact that she was still alive angered H. He wanted her dead, although I never found out why, my mission had finally found its ending by week's end as H had finally gotten all that he wanted to learn from her.

She had a speech that she need to deliver to the masses in the afternoon in a not so secluded location. It was more like the most open one she could possibly find and it made her an even more prone target. It made trying to off her so much easier. I had arrived there early that morning to do my duty and check out the surrounding area where her speech was taking place. I only had to slip away for a moment and set up the weapon that would be sure to take her out any which way and end her pitiful life. When I was all done I quickly went back to guard her as she got ready, talking to me non-stop and giving me a pounding headache. I was glad she would be dead in a matter of a few hours, good riddance to another blasted politician that never really cared what the common masses thought even when they got to share in her vision as she called it.

By the time I escorted her to the podium there was a crowd of her adoring fans waiting for her to speak. My stomach churned with the sight of them all but no more so than the walking vision before me that I hadn't seen in so long. Duo stood in the crowd along with Quatre and Trowa standing next to one another. Their eyes locked with mine. Trowa's with anger, Quatre's with pity, and Duo's... Duo's eyes were full of hurt, disbelief, and fear. I had put those emotions in his eyes. I had hurt him, someone so beautiful that it should have been a crime to look upon his beauty. Those eyes would haunt me as I knew that they would and even as I looked away, I could feel his eyes following my every step.

Relena didn't seem to notice my lack of attention, she was readying her speech and trying to quiet the crowd as I tried to avoid looking at those eyes, but I could only hold out so long before my eyes were drawn back to his. The question within them hurt me so much even though my face stayed the cold mask it always was. My suffering would never end because of the way he looked at me then, so confused and hurt. I wished that his eyes held anger for me, but they didn't. Only I could hate myself in that moment before the voice took over and began the count down to Relena Darlian's death.

The voice was utterly joyful while I moaned in the painful memories of what I had done to my lover. The count down was ending when I realized two things; one Relena was still alive even though my count down had ended and two more guards were arriving left and right interrupting her and pushing her away from the stage. I quickly followed them and demanded an explanation of why my charge was being taken away. The leader of these new guards stated they found a sniper rifle set up to fire on a set timer in one of the buildings and were still searching the following places for the one responsible. The voice screamed at me even though I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked them for their help as I approached Relena's side. She clung to me as we went back with the new guards and they announced her speech was over. The rest of it, they said, would be televised later that night if the crowd was so inclined to watch it, but a live production was no longer an option.

Relena was a little shaken once she learned the reason the guards didn't let her finish her speech about peace and having an open mind. She remained tangled around me until she was safely with her father once more. Her father thanked me and the team for keeping her safe then let us leave for the evening.

H wouldn't be happy once he learned what had transpired at the speech and I was sure the voice would be coming up with new plans for the rest of the night, but I couldn't have cared. With the failure of my mission the little voice in the back of my mind began to get my attention and I listened to it even as the other voice rattled on about how much more gruesome we could make Relena's death.

I was so preoccupied with my thoughts I didn't notice I was being followed until I was almost back to the house. There was no way I couldn't know who it was that was following me as I quickly got to the porch and got into a position to watch as my stalker's form slowly appeared, most likely to see where I had gone. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the long braid of chestnut hair and those expressive eyes. There was no mistaking him for anyone else.

Duo had followed me here and I had let him.

He stayed to look around to see where I had disappeared before noting the address and quickly leaving. I waited a full ten minutes before heading inside to give my report and tell of the failed mission. H was enraged and throwing around anything that got in his way. S couldn't have cared less and went about his research as if H wasn't even in the room. I went to do my nightly rounds and exercises before letting a smile come to my face even as the voice babbled on plans of death for Relena.

Duo had found me.

That thought alone made the little voice grow even more and quieted the angry plotting one for a while that night making my dreams peaceful and filled with the sight of Duo coming to see me over and over. If only my dreams were reality, I would embrace them without another thought. But they weren't and I knew that once I woke up from them H would have another assignment for me and would give me no more room for failure.

It would make me or break me but at that point, I didn't see a clear path to either one ever since being taken from Duo. He was the only thing that mattered to me and he was still the only constant thing my mind couldn't break away from. Maybe I could find a away around my training even though I knew it could end in my death. It was worth it. To be with Duo once more would be worth any price.

TBC...


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

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It seemed like every attempt I made to heed H and kill Relena met with failure after that night Duo followed me to the house. There's no way to express how much just seeing him come after me made me feel. H thought I wasn't trying hard enough and kept upping the dosage whenever he felt like it. S warned him to monitor it better since he knew after a while the drugs would no longer affect me like they should be. A fact that I had over heard and had already realized was starting to happen. The voice was growing weaker each time H attended me. The dosage itself was ten times as strong so it kept up the other physical effects, but the mental ones were slowly breaking down.

The once silent murmur in the back of my head was now in full control once more. Yet, the after effects of physical endurance, stamina, strength, and speed increased a bit and didn't seem to be fading. I was quite glad for it to be honest, although I worried that my act to make them believe the drugs were affecting me like they always had was always on my mind. Often times I felt myself thinking things over while running errands for them and picking up supplies. Just being seen in public was a hassle since my mind was always analyzing those around me, looking for threats, and just being hyper aware of anything that moved.

It was on one of those days that I needed to go to town and pick up some food H and S had requested. The farmers market seemed like a good choice at the time since it wasn't enclosed like a normal store would be. It was on that fateful day that my instincts seemed to be lacking somewhat and I didn't notice that I was bumping into someone until we collided. The other person landed on the ground while the things I had been carrying fell to the ground.

"Sorry. I must not have been looking where I was going." I apologized and started grabbing my things.

"No, it's my fault just as much. Something caught my eye and..." The other person stopped abruptly and I wondered why as I finished stashing my food back in the canvas bag. It was only then that I looked up and noticed what the other person looked like.

"Heero?" He whispered and I nearly dropped my purchases on the ground again.

Those features and voice that haunted my dreams and memories for so long. He was finally right in front of me staring at me as if he had never seen me before. I knew then that I had to get away before he started asking questions. Before I did something I no longer had any right to do. I scrambled to get up and get out of there as fast as I could, but Duo seemed to have other plans.

"Oh no you don't!" He hollered and latched onto my arm without thinking and tugged me with him. I wondered briefly as he pulled me towards the parking lot that even though I knew I was stronger than him, I still let him lead me to wherever he wanted to go. We stopped near an all too familiar white van, never letting go of my arm. He fixed those beautiful blue-violet eyes on me and fixed me with a harsh glare. "I want answers this time Heero and I planned to get them."

I felt my body tense and he must have felt it too when his stern look softened a fraction. "I know something is going on with you. Something bad from the looks of it and yet you didn't tell me. You just used me and left to do what exactly. I don't know, but when I followed you that night after I went to see that speech with Tro and Kat and saw you there... I figured something was wrong. I even kinda knew when you raped me."

I hung my head, no longer able to look at him when I noticed the tears filling his eyes. That night I remembered all too clearly. The voice making me do the unthinkable to Duo. I hurt him more than I had ever hurt anyone that night, even if it wasn't really me.

"What do you mean it wasn't really you?" He asked me and I realized with a start I had been talking out loud. "Heero tell me what you mean by that!"

"I- I can't." I mumbled and suddenly I found myself slammed against the van.

"Yes, you can and you will. What the fuck was wrong with you then, for right now even? You owe it to me to let me know what the fuck happened."

"The doctors did this to me. They drugged me, made me... made me do that horrible thing to you so you wouldn't follow me . The voice they stuck inside my head told me what to do. How much to hurt you. Told me how much you wanted it to be like that and I was too weak to stop it. Please forgive me Duo. It wasn't me that was touching you like that. I love you so much I never wanted to do that to you... but I did. I did hurt you."

"Yeah, you hurt me bad. You fucked me like J used to fuck you. I don't even understand half of what you're saying Heero, but I want to believe you. I don't know if I can though. Whoever these so called doctors are did this to you. What did they do exactly?"

"They made me ZERO." I stated. There was no point to hold back now. Everything was coming to the surface, my crimes, my training, my sins.

"Huh?"

"They made me ZERO. It's a drug that makes you a super soldier. It's something J was working on and his colleagues have finished his work even though J's dead. They wanted to see his tool, his ZERO. That's what I was supposed to be after my training was completed. He wanted me to be his perfect soldier. A tool that would do anything that is commanded of me and carried out without question, alteration, or delay. H and S modified it and wanted me to be their private assassin to carry out their plans. Well, they are more H's plans than S's." Duo stared at me for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"So that's why you live in that house now." I nodded. "And why you did all those things to me?" I nodded again. "Why didn't you try to fight them?" I looked up at him shocked.

"I tried to, but the drugs induce pain unimaginable when at their full potential. I was in constant agony whenever I went against orders and the voice would often take over."

"Then they aren't at their full potential now?" He asked, sounding hopeful and I get relieved."

"No."

"Then why don't you come home with me. Things won't be the same, not- not for a while any way, but..."

"I can't." I interrupted him. There was no way I could go back with Duo. H would figure things out and kill him. He might even find a way for the drugs to work again. I couldn't let that happen.

"Why not?" He asked and I told him what would happen and even though it startled him, he nodded in understanding. "So you're just pretending to keep them in the dark about your condition?"

"Yes. I can't let them harm you, Quatre, or Trowa. Besides I also need to protect the vice foreign minister's daughter; Relena Peacecraft."

"That's why you were on stage with her?" Duo exclaimed and suddenly seemed to realize why I was her guard. "H and S want you to kill her?"

"Precisely. Even though all my attempts have failed so far, which I'm relieved about but it makes H madder every time the mission is unsuccessful."

"I can see why if that's the whole reason why you're guarding her." Duo looked down at his watch suddenly and swore to himself before looking at me again. He seemed to be memorizing my face before he suddenly leaned forward and kissed me hard. I stood there stunned at the feeling of his warm lips on mine. It was a hard kiss, one that I never thought I would receive again and enjoyed it even though it was too brief for my liking. I would be content though, that Duo still had feelings for me even if I didn't deserve them. Duo pulled away just as suddenly and stared at me sternly as if reminding me without words that I couldn't reach for him.

"Promise me this Heero, when you finally think it's safe and these bastards don't have this hold or whatever on you, you'll come back to me." He jabbed his finger at my heart. "Promise?"

"I promise even though I don't know when I can make it happen." I swore to him and he gave me a half hearted grin.

"That's all I ask." He finally pulled away and let go of me. I missed the contact already even as I turned away from him and carried my packages back to the house. Duo was gone from my sight a moment later as if he hadn't even been there. But that kiss still tingled on my lips and left me with a strong reminder of my promise.

I didn't know if it would come to light any time soon, but the hope it spawned in me didn't die even as I closed the door behind me and prepared for H's ranting for the day.

TBC...


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

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As I had predicted H wasn't happy with me when I returned home. I could still feel the tingle on my lips from Duo's hard kiss though and I thought of it and how much I wished I could receive a few more while H ranted and threw things. S didn't seem to pay any mind to him and went through the canvas bag to put away the purchases. He always was the more mild tempered of J's colleagues and I could also see why H needed him around. Without S's calm demeanor H would probably trash the lab and blow up even more than he already was. I took all he had to say in stride, never allowing him to know I was focused elsewhere as he continued to rant and it was a long while until he calmed down.

"I can't have things going wrong anymore. We are running out of time. I don't know why our plans keep getting compromised but you better fix it ZERO!"

"There is a simple reason for it. The Foreign Minister doesn't take any chances when his daughter's life is put at risk. I have been able to stay close to her because she has my trust but her father puts his trust in many that could override any harm I could cause her. I would be taken out the moment they realized I was the source."

"Then make sure you are below their radar."

"Noted and already in effect." I responded and saw S giving H a hard look. H noticed and glared right back.

"You have a problem?" H snorted.

"Not a problem exactly but more of an understanding to ZERO's response. There is only so much he can do and still remain undercover so I propose a different strategy." S stated.

"Go on."

"What if we strike the means of production to get those idiots attention instead of the Foreign Minister's assassination? Then we would both get the attention we deserve and also make them realize how powerful we can be. They'll have to listen to us and we can finally get rid of the bumbling idiots who make the decisions."

"Excellent. I'll pull up the blueprints to WEI's headquarters and get started on a plan. ZERO you just might be able to redeem yourself yet." H said and went to look through the thousands of files on his system. I had a bad feeling about just what he was planning and knowing H he would become more twisted at each turn.

It wasn't long that I was proven correct. With all the files and plans in place H and S dabble with a few contingency plans as I trained and met my specs for the day. There was something fishy about how the two were acting all day long and as I worked out I could pick up bits and pieces of their conversation. Most of the words that I picked out I realized had to do with a bomb. It was bad enough they were changing their plans but something was nagging at me in the back of my head. Something that I should remember but for the life of me I couldn't figure out.

There was some connection that I couldn't seem to get to and yet I knew it was important. Like an itch that needs to be scratched but you just can't reach it. As I tried to pick apart my head I realized I had an audience and stopped my reps.

"It's time we made some alterations ZERO. Come and fulfill what we need from you." I had no choice but to or risk blowing my cover. As I walked to the back room, I felt like I was walking into a trap which I was even with no choice but to do otherwise. There in the center of the room was a bed with leather straps and harnesses. At first I almost turned away but my moment of hesitation cost me and I felt the needle pierce my skin before meeting the darkness that swarmed up to greet me.

xxxx

A lot of time must have passed before I woke up feeling achy and cotton headed. My chest hurt for some reason and I reached up to touch it. The feeling of cloth bandages startled me and my eyes snapped open to see the truth for what it was.

They had operated on me! What did they do? Panic flooded my senses and I was ready to get up and make them tell me what they did when S's voice whispered in my ear.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Calm yourself and relax." I took a breath and obeyed his soft words realizing there was no reason to fight if I didn't know what I was fighting. Turning to the voice, I looked at him sitting beside me and writing down some things on a clip board before looking to me again.

"There's a good boy. We installed an instant injection device to your heart. H was afraid the doses weren't helping you as much so he decided to do this method. I'm not fond of it but it's effective." He sighed and looked away for a moment before smiling a bit. "This will ensure you succeed your mission or it will kill you. Fail and die. Succeed and live. That is your purpose now. J would approve of H's logic, but I don't as much as I want to be heard. I don't want it to cost you your life. Try to get some rest. You'll be leaving at dawn." Then S left.

It was the most I had ever heard him speak or sound remotely sorry for what he had done to me. H, I loathed, but S was a person after all and I couldn't hate him. Even though this last mission might just kill me, I had to hope that it wouldn't, and even with that thought I knew H was very thorough nor would make a mistake. He wouldn't hesitate to get his plans to work by any means necessary. Letting my eyes close and my body relax I fell into a light doze and dreamed of my long haired beauty.

xxxx

The morning came all too quickly and after getting briefed and armed I was on my way to WEI to meet my fate or success whichever came first. I took the longest routes I could going through town and back alleys looking like a businessman after S insisted so I wouldn't look conspicuous as I made my way through to the inner city. I was just coming around the corner when I the nagging started again but then right in front of me my brain finally connected the dots. Quatre worked at WEI!

I wasn't sure what he did but I knew now I couldn't go through with this plan. I couldn't kill my friends! They were the family I had never had! I had to get away. I had to leave here.

_'Go into the building! Do what you came here to do!'_ A voice told me and my feet obeyed it! What was happening? _'This is your mission fulfill it or perish! You will see what needs to be done. Now GO! _

I went and entered the building making turns and twisting out of peoples way until reaching the elevator to go to the center of the building. The bomb would collapse the top and then blast out the bottom. I would be successful. I would complete my mission this time.

_'NO! This is wrong stop it!_ Another voice called to me halting my thoughts and making them listen to it. '_Throw those thoughts out the window! Don't kill the innocent. Disarm the bomb!' _I scrambled to obey even as I exited the elevator only to come face to face with Duo.

"Heero." Duo looked shocked to see me and even as the two voices clashed I couldn't move. "What are you doing here?"

"Obeying orders to blow up the building." I stated and suddenly spasmed. 'No not now!'

"WHAT!? What do you mean blow up the building you can't do that!" Duo screeched but the voices were becoming worse and the pain was making my heart ache.

"I have no choice and it seems the doctors aren't taking any chances. They have a lethal injector of the drugs inside me. I don't do this I die. I succeed the pain stops ."

"So the innocent lives mean nothing to you?" Duo asked sounding scared. "I mean nothing to you?"

That stopped me and I stared at him knowing if I succeeded I would kill him as well as everyone else. I couldn't bear it. If I lived and he... I made my decision.

"Help me." I begged.

"What? Help you what?"

"Help me focus and I'll disarm the bomb." He nodded and tugged me to him. His touch was electric on my skin, but gave me a focus as I opened the suitcase and scrambled to disarm it. Duo's touch helped me focus and even as pain made my limbs shake I still disarmed the bomb as fast as I could.

"There. Help me toss it in case it has a secondary charge." I told Duo who had to help steady me as I tried to get up.

"There's a fountain on that side of the building." He told me as I picked up the bomb and we made our way to the window he pointed out to. My trembling increased as we walked to it and I almost dropped the bomb if not for Duo.

"Here, let me do it." And snagged it out of my hand and opened the window to toss it out. I was both relieved and afraid when I didn't hear anything happen but didn't get to sigh at all as I suddenly felt a burning in my chest and all my limbs lost their sensations and I fell to the floor. "Heero!" I felt his hands cradle my face to turn my head to look at him. "Oh my gosh, you're burning up!"

I heard his words but I couldn't answer as my vision became dark and his beautiful voice faded away. My only thought lingering in my mind asked, 'Am I dying?'

TBC...

Sorry. I've been away so long. My muse ran off and everything was very busy last month so I couldn't update at all. But I hope you are all still paying attention and please let me know what you think. Re-read the chapters if you have to, but please stay with me the end is coming.

Please review. And a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who already have but I would love more feedback anyway! HUGS!


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It had to be a long time before I was aware of anything happening around me. The sound of beeping and hushed words tried to wake me. I felt warm flesh covering my hand as I struggled to focus on the chaotic sounds and make some sense out of them. The harsh smells of antiseptic and alcohol stung my nose as I breathed a bit deeper and willed my eyes to open. But when they did I saw my beacon and he was beautiful.

Even worried and scared, Duo was beautiful to me and his grip never wavered as the doctor told him the condition I was in. My chest still hurt but not as much as before. Strangely enough there was also this numb sensation that I couldn't figure out. Why did I feel numb and my head felt like it was stuffed?

Wait a minute. No, it couldn't be...

"All things considered Mr. Maxwell, your friend is a tough patient ans pulled through with little difficulty. The device we removed has already been handed over to the police and hopefully they can figure out who did this to him. When he fully wakes up and has stabilized we'll ask more questions. I've already informed the nurses of your intention to stay for the night and they won't give you any problems. Have a pleasant evening."

They operated on me! Again? At least the device was out, which was a relief but still... If the cops found out that the device was linked to H and S then they might do something even worse than planning to bomb a building or make any more idle threats. This was just the beginning. They could be planning something so much bigger than-

"Stop thinking and just rest Heero. I know you're awake, but worrying isn't good for you so you need to stop it." He whispered in my ear and stroked my bangs away from my face. "There's the man I love."

"What happened?" I croaked out. My throat hurt and felt too dry. Duo blessedly noticed and grabbed a cup with a straw in it and let me take a sip of cool refreshing water. Pulling it back when I was through he sighed and looked at me hard for a second before leaning in to kiss me gently. Then he pulled back and looked away.

"They said you had a heart attack. A very severe heart attack due to that thing inside you. I told them it had caused you to show every sign of a heart attack. You kept clawing at your chest and saying you felt like you were dying and I was so scared you were. You were out of it so bad and then you just suddenly became so still. I thought that-" He looks at me with tears in his eyes, showing me all the pain that he felt. What agony I must have caused him then and to relive it again now while telling me is hurting him even more. Tears roll down his cheeks as he tries to voice what he has seen.

"I thought you were dead while they were working on you. They said your heart stopped and you weren't breathing for a few minutes and dragged you into the OR as fast as they could. That's when they found the device in you and detached it from your heart and gave it to the cops. I told them about the doctors. About J and G, and S and H and where to find them. They'll get them and put them away for being the sick bastards that they are."

"J is already dead Duo. G won't be found, he's too crafty to stay in one place too long. S isn't even so bad but H deserves whatever he gets." I explain to he and Duo turns to glare at me so hard I think my eyes might catch on fire.

"How could you defend them?! Look what they've done to you what they made you do! Those bastards aren't even human, Heero! They tore you apart and took you away from me to become something you shouldn't have and for what?! So they could get what they wanted at our expense? That's selfish and wrong and criminal and they should be locked up for the rest of their lives if not longer!"

"Then shouldn't I be locked up with them?" I reply softly. Duo's stunned silent as I manage to look at him finally. "Shouldn't I be locked away for all things I've done? Gods Duo. I raped you. I couldn't stop it, but still. I did that crime to you. I'm as bad as they are."

"Shut up!"

"Duo."

"I said shut up! You are not like them. Never in a million years could you be like them. Yes. You did that to me, but you had no choice. It was whatever your brainwashed mind decided to make you do then. You weren't conscious of the decision so it isn't your fault." Duo adamantly stated.

"It still doesn't change anything-" And just when I thought I might be able to convince him, he kissed me... for a very long time before releasing me and cradling my face with his gentle hands.

"It changes nothing. I still love you. And I'm sorry you had to do those things, but I forgive you for them. You weren't in control then, but now you are and I'm not letting you get away from me. So there!"

The way he said it made the rest of any argument I had fall flat and fade away. There was no way I would win so there wouldn't be a point in saying anything. I sighed and saw Duo finally smile before seeming to come to a decision and crawling into the bed with me.

I made room for him even though I couldn't move much and my stitches pulled but it was worth it to have him closer to me even if I still didn't think he should.

He seemed to be reading my mind though and poked me in the ribs.

"Deal with it Yuy. You're not getting away from me so just relax and go back to sleep. I'm making sure I can keep an eye on you even if I fall asleep too."

"So you have a third eye to keep a look out for me?" I joked.

"You know what I mean. Now shut up and get some shut eye before I poke you in your stitches. You'll have a scar right over your heart once you've healed up."

"Probably. But the only one who will see it with be you right?"

"Absolutely. No one else is allowed to eye up you unless they walk in on you in the shower. Think of those possibilities."

"You're horrible Duo. But I love you anyway." I snickered.

"Right back at you tough guy."

He nuzzled into my side making sure not to put pressure on my operation site but still held me tight around the waist. If I was completely honest with my self, I had missed this part the most. Just sleeping with Duo next to me gave me a golden comfort that no one else could replace. And even as my eyes got heavier and I knew a land of dreams would take over I was content to let Duo keep watch over me as I let my aching body relax and get that needed rest Duo had mentioned.

TBC...

Short update, I know. But I had to leave it off there for now. So as always tell me what you think and always Review!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

xxxx

It seemed my time in the hospital wasn't to last as long as I thought it would. Duo was quick to assure me that everything was being handled and that Quatre and Trowa weren't so heartless that they would never forgive me. They had come up with their own conclusions until Duo had filled them in and even then were still distrustful of me. Not that I didn't deserve their scorn after my fall from grace. I would just have to work harder to regain their friendship since Duo had already informed them of my return to their home.

Trowa was willing to allow it as long as he stayed there with Quatre but I knew it was more likely that he wanted to make sure Duo was safe from me as well. I couldn't blame him. If our situations were reversed I knew I would be the same way, maybe even worse. I loved Duo more than I loved my own life and if that meant it would take years to get back on their good graces then so be it.

S and H were captured just as Duo knew that they would be. Further investigation was sought out and the FBI even got involved with what had made up H's schemes. S decided to come clean about everything, going so far as to say that he would provide all his research for a deal. The FBI couldn't let such an opportunity pass them by and so S was half pardoned and served a lesser sentence than what he would have had. H wasn't so lucky. Being the way he was, his temper got the better of him and pointed fingers and allegations on everyone who had ever thought he was crazy. Let's just say such facts didn't hold up too well in federal court.

Duo was relieved when the crazy bastard was no longer aloud to speak and taken up to the funny farm as he called it. I managed to get let off the hook as it were due to their experimental treatments on me and also the danger they had put my life in. The doctors that had treated me stood as witnesses to the testimony that I could not be blamed for anything as I had no control over my actions while the drugs were in my system. They went so far as to do a trial run of them on some lab animals and the results proved that I couldn't take the blame even though I knew in my heart I was still as guilty as I felt.

Life with Duo couldn't be the same. He said he forgave me for what I did but I couldn't forgive myself.

You don't hurt the ones you love.

That is the truth and the only truth there could be. Even someone as damaged as me could see that. But Duo was willing to see past that and go on as if nothing had ever happened. It was costing him dearly every time he would look at me. He wasn't lying though. Not really. He meant what he said but when I looked into his eyes, I could see he was still afraid.

The fear of me leaving him or hurting him again was lingering in those gorgeous eyes of his. Yet, I didn't know which one was costing him more. The happy front he put on for me was just that, a front that hadn't been cracked yet but was bending at the edges. He tried to act like nothing was wrong.

Gods did he try. But I could see it and didn't let him know I could.

Weeks were passing and I finally got back into the routine that we had started once I had been living with Duo. It passed the time but it felt too stiff, too formal. Duo was his smiling self when going up to greet customers but once we were on the road again the happy banter was just too strained for his easy-going nature.

I think we were at a standstill for the most part. We both still enjoyed each other's company and worked well together but something was still missing. Something that I couldn't bear to start up again until Duo made the first move and I think that more than anything was what made the strain in our partnership so hard. In the weeks that I had been released from the hospital and the sentencing of S and H, Duo had yet to touch me the way he once had.

He touched me yes, but not in the intimate way we used to have. It was as if there was a barrier between us now that I was all right and free from the voice that was within my head for months. We loved each other. There was never any doubt about that but the easy companionship we had once shared was missing entirely.

I first noticed it a week after my release from the hospital when Duo was still taking such good care of me, helping me shower, and get dressed so I wouldn't pull my stitches or wounds. His touch didn't linger when he helped me, nor did he just playfully fluff my hair or pat my side when he hugged me. It was as if those touches were no longer a part of what we shared. And rather than say anything, I took what I could and savored the ones he would allow me to feel.

Even when we slept it was different. We curled together sure but not as close and the arms wrapped around me would fall away if Duo moved in his sleep, something that he rarely did when I was in his arms. I let it be, thinking it was just from my return to him but it was only getting worse and I didn't know how to stop it.

I wanted to talk to Quatre but I was afraid of what he would have to say. Maybe he would think like Trowa, that it was my fault Duo acted this way. I couldn't be sure until I asked him, but I wasn't willing to risk it. Not yet. That was my saying any more, 'not yet.' It seemed like I could wait him out but the longer I waited the longer I had to go without Duo's touch and that wasn't really an option after two months of wanting to be with him again.

There had never been any strain between the two of us and now that there was I couldn't figure out what to do or how to go about fixing it. Howard even noticed it and was getting worried pulling me aside at work before Duo and I had to head out and asking if there was something on my mind.

I felt such relief at being able to confide in someone that it started erupting from me in a giant wave that probably would have overwhelmed anyone else, but Howard isn't just anyone. He let me tell him what was wrong and how I didn't think I should push. It got him laughing at my expense but I failed to see the humor in it until he explained that he had a talk with Duo about the exact same fears I was dealing with and told me to come to him after our deliveries were over so we could have a talk. I was delighted and practically buzzing all day to return to him and have that talk that I couldn't sit still. I think Duo was shocked by it but didn't joke about it like he normally would. I let it pass like most things and when we got back from our shift I told him to go home with out me.

Duo wasn't happy about that but I assured him I wasn't going anywhere and I just needed to talk to Howard. He sort of slumped at my answer and told me he would be in the car waiting for me. Any other option wasn't an answer.

As I watched him go I knew this had to work, for if it didn't Duo and I would never be able to see things like we used and that wasn't an option to me.

TBC….


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

XXXXXXXX

Howard didn't have to wait long for me as I hurried down the hall to his office. It was always so warm in there that it seemed to penetrate me where I needed it. My fingers were still a bit numb from the cold but I couldn't be bothered by it. Instead I flexed them in the warm air letting them adjust to the heat as I came into Howard's office.

He smiled at me like he always would, I could tell his eyes were crinkled up even behind his sunglasses because of the small crows feet at their corners. If there was one thing I could count on, it was Howard never changing his style.

"Sit a spell and let me know what's eating you Heero," he said gesturing to the comfy chair across from his own and snuggling deeper into his seat.

"I really don't know where to begin." I said sitting down and accepting the cup of tea he offered me.

"The beginnings a good start as any, but let me get one thing straight before you start. You are completely serious about being with Duo, aren't you sonny?"

"He's the only person I've ever felt this way about and after what I did to him… I just don't know how we're supposed to get back to where we were." I shrugged not really knowing how to explain things any further without telling him the whole story. Howard nodded in understanding and seemed to settle even more now that an invisible weight was lifted from his chest.

"Ah! Well see that's just one of your problems from the start." Howard revealed with a no nonsense tone.

"What is?" I asked confused not really understanding where his mind had jumped from or where he was going.

"You're trying to dig up a past that is already done and over with. Maybe things are so strained with you two because you're trying to go back to that point. Sometimes it's better to forget things and leave them be while the wounds heal. Otherwise the scabs are just going to get ripped off any time one of you says something referring to the incident as I call it. From what Duo told me, you already apologized and he accepted it, yet you can't seem to move on."

Shaking my head, I denied what Howard was saying. "How can we Howard? After what I did to him, I didn't even know what I was doing at the time and then it was too late. I hurt him so bad. I promised myself I would never hurt anyone like I had been and that's just what I did."

How could I explain that any better than that? There was no forgiving someone who wasn't in their right mind and what was worse the voice that only I could hear made me do it. That was sure to win over anyone who heard that explanation.

"I think Duo would be a better judge of that than you Heero. Yes, Duo was hurt by you but I think what really hurt him was losing you to those two idiots that nabbed you. He was beside himself worrying that they murdered you or doing something so much worse. He was afraid for you Heero and he's worried about you now. You and I both know Duo can be a mother hen when he wants to be, sometimes to the point you want to smack him silly. However, I think it's both your faults that you're in this predicament now. Both you and him are so alike you don't realize it and so instead of saying anything to each other you both worry there is something even worse going on. But then of course you both continue to amuse an old man like me with things you should be saying to one another."

I smiled a bit knowing he was right. But how could I start it all over again?

"What if Duo doesn't want to talk?" I asked hesitantly.

"Duo? Our Duo not waning to talk?" He asked incredulously. "You better start saying your prayers now cause sure shootin' Armageddon will start when there's a day Duo doesn't want to talk. You just need to get him to open up a bit. Maybe just by starting over and asking him out on a date and start all over again. Go out to dinner and talk about things you're both interested in doing even if it's just things at home."

"What would that solve?"

"Maybe just as a good starting point for a decent conversation or maybe just to help you two get back on your feet. The longer this goes on Heero, the longer Duo's going to doubt you want to let things go back to normal. You do want things to go back like they were don't you?" He asked giving me the analyzing look I was used to and getting the laugh he wanted out of me.

"I do. I'm just hoping I can convince Duo of that." I admitted.

Howard smiled kindly at me. "You will. Now, I think you better on hurry on home before the mother hen comes looking for you." I smiled back.

"He's already waiting in the van for me. Thanks Howard." I stood and reached out to shake his hand, but Howard would have none of it and grabbed my hand to pull me into a bear hug. It felt good and familiar, something I really missed and was glad to have once again. With Howard's blessing and a bid of goodnight, he escorted me out and locked the door behind me.

For a moment out there in the cold, I felt as light as a feather. And as I allowed my eyes to search for Duo in the van, my heart continued to feel the warmth I had gained in Howard's hug. Breathing in a deep breath I let the calm I gained settle over me and went to deal with the next hurdle.

My lover.

Duo was sitting in the running van just like he promised he would be and if I wasn't mistaken seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as I headed towards him. I was greeted with a smile and the warm air that rushed out as I pulled open the passenger side door. Strapping myself in, I smiled back.

As Duo shifted the van into gear he turned to me again, but seemed a bit more worried than I first thought. "So have a good talk with Howard?"

"I did. He was a great help to me." I reassured him.

"Talk about anything I need to know about?" He asked and pulled out of our parking space. I smiled inwardly, seeing the mother hen poking through the surface already.

"A few things actually." I stated secretively and then realized a moment too late that I shouldn't have. Duo's smile seemed to fade as he started concentrating on driving. I had to hurry up and amend what I said before his mind jumped to more unpleasant thoughts. "It wasn't anything serious Duo. Just ideas of where we should go out for dinner." It wasn't exactly a lie but I wanted to get Duo's mind off the path I sent him down with my careless phrasing.

"Oh. Exchanging dining techniques? Howard should be a pro by now with everything he tries. If it's on his way to anywhere he's off to he's sure to stop at least once even if it's just to see how bad it is. So where's this place you're taking me."

"Any where you want to go since I'm paying for the both of us. But somewhere we can talk and not be bothered." I suggested and he nodded.

"Sure. I think I know of somewhere like that. You want to head there now?" He asked pulling into the turning lane.

"I think it would be best. I'm starving." My stomach decided at that moment to rumble earning me a laugh out of Duo.

"That's as good a reason as any. Hold onto you're seat, I'll get us there in no time." I did as I was told and no sooner than expected, Duo pulled into an out of the way diner and set about to race me inside. He won of course and quickly had us settled into a booth and talking to the server.

As I settled into my seat I waited for Duo to wrap up his conversation and receive our menus. He would never change but that was good, because I didn't want him to. He was perfect the way he was and I hoped I could reassure him of my feelings no matter how our conversation turned out.

After a few minutes we got our menus and made our selections and let the server move on to another table. Finally Duo and I were all by ourselves and I had his complete attention.

Showtime.

TBC…


End file.
